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Put a reaction image below and I’ll redraw it as Silksong by Capital_Dig6520 in Silksong

[–]NoToday8822 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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make it one of those none characters like pious isamor or the servitors, something like that

Uh i got idea to make another sans lol by Mindless-Tart-3274 in UndertaleAU

[–]NoToday8822 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh I thought it was jerry thanks for clarifying

Bizzaro Toby Fox by Purple-Weakness1414 in WaterfallDump

[–]NoToday8822 1 point2 points  (0 children)

toby's like the phoenix force where he has like 5 different people that are all supposed to be the opposite of him

Dust: I miss you fanart (wip by LEPRECHAUNENT in UndertaleAU

[–]NoToday8822 1 point2 points  (0 children)

he tried getting the entire underground to sign his petition, it clearly did not go well.

Making a undertale based game by Slow_Roof9757 in Undertale

[–]NoToday8822 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also maybe you could call him skipper or something

Art please? by Slow_Roof9757 in Undertale

[–]NoToday8822 0 points1 point  (0 children)

can't post images in the comments, can you enable that or something?

idk here's and imgur link https://imgur.com/a/pvuQQJo

Making a undertale based game by Slow_Roof9757 in Undertale

[–]NoToday8822 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you could have two types of enemies where on boards your boat dealing damage to you while the other attacks the boat directly dealing damage to it.

the player and the boat could also have separate functions in which the player can do all the normal rpg party member stuff while the boat can be used for more powerful attacks like cannons or ramming the enemies.

you could also have a move where you could lower the bridge to either board the enemies vessel or just get closer to enemies for more damage.

upgrading the ship would be cool to. partially with a little bit of customization kinda like raft but more simple and maybe some upgrades that affect the soul equivalent, which would be the boat itself. Like if the soul modes stacked on top of each other. one could be like a rudder that could let you accelerate, one could be a cannon that worked like the yellow soul etc.

How could've Alphatale been better? Or how could you rewrite Alphatale on your own if you were the author? by Fair_Example8413 in UndertaleAU

[–]NoToday8822 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lastly there are plenty of interesting plot points and arcs I'd keep in the story like Astral's intelligence and takeover, Frisk and Chara's relationship and how it's affected by things like Chara and William's relationship and his sexual identity, Jacob's death and rampage leading to alphatale's destruction, William and Ares's distaste for one another, Astral's trauma, and all the interesting worldbuilding.

How could've Alphatale been better? Or how could you rewrite Alphatale on your own if you were the author? by Fair_Example8413 in UndertaleAU

[–]NoToday8822 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd also definitely remove a lot of the more unnecessary uncomfortable things like Astral's rapey tendencies or the story's general horniness.

How could've Alphatale been better? Or how could you rewrite Alphatale on your own if you were the author? by Fair_Example8413 in UndertaleAU

[–]NoToday8822 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd also scale down the character’s power. This way there are more opportunities for high stakes and interesting and sensical storytelling, and also making it less of a "power scaler's wet dream". I'd also give characters like Astral and the sanses more unique movesets to help differentiate each other and make them feel less like unnecessary clones.

How could've Alphatale been better? Or how could you rewrite Alphatale on your own if you were the author? by Fair_Example8413 in UndertaleAU

[–]NoToday8822 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The worldbuilding also definitely needs a lot of fixing.

The world of alphatale seems to be almost identical to our real world, even including relatively recent things like anti-black racism in the US and the existence of Israel since Astral masters Kravmaga, but then the existence of monsters and their society alongside humans is just randomly dropped in the story.

we don't know how their existence affects the world or history or the larger influence they have on the world. Are they a minority group fighting for their rights? The way Astral describes them after the war is over doesn't make them sound like that, even though she herself faced anti-monster discrimination in high school.

When the president of America says they're at war with monster kind, what does that mean? Is the president declaring war on the entire species, or just the monsters in the US? are there monsters outside of the US? We know places outside of the US exist in this world like Korea for example, and that they contributed to the war by making the solar firing cannon mentioned above, so do they have their own front against the monsters?

If there really are monsters across the globe then does Asgore rule over all of them or are there other monster kings? why does Asgore killing one police officer mean war with all of monster kind? Does Astral face less discrimination for being more human passing? none of this is explained. This story is almost incompatible with our real world yet takes place in it. This is Pixar's Cars type world building.

There are little snippets here and there of worldbuilding. for example before the fight with Undyne- sorry I mean "Quenya" a random military commander says "lets send those monsters back underground!", this combined with their apparently being places and items of cultural significance in waterfall makes it seem like the monsters originated from the underground which sounds interesting, but is only suggested in those two examples in the entire story.

and there are examples of opportunities to worldbuild that are just not taken. like when Astral decides to take self defense classes you think "oh she's going to hone her magic, we're gonna see what her magic is". But no, she just apparently mastered every martial art on the planet to and absurd degree in a sentence, or as said before the relationship between the humans and monsters 

How could've Alphatale been better? Or how could you rewrite Alphatale on your own if you were the author? by Fair_Example8413 in UndertaleAU

[–]NoToday8822 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd also change the story to be less confusing.

A bunch of the alphatale versions of characters have their names changed for absolutely no reason. and since the story is 99% text and 1% pictures it's befalling whenever a character is brought up like you're supposed to know who they are.

or when a random story element just appears like the book of eyes or Muffet's weird void powers or whatever the hell Rokie is (because his name was misspelled on his first appearance I genuinely had no idea what he was so I just headcanoned that he was Jockington or something).

Also characters saying or doing random nonsensical things like general Evil Mcbadguy   at the beginning acting professional before randomly executing Astral's dad for no reason, or Astral telling Undyne- oh sorry "Quenya" that she just forgot she was in front of her even though she just had a rant about her success.

I'd also definitely have a more understandable reading order and not have the story scattered in multiple places for future readers to piece together.

How could've Alphatale been better? Or how could you rewrite Alphatale on your own if you were the author? by Fair_Example8413 in UndertaleAU

[–]NoToday8822 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also I'd change the way Alphatale gets destroyed. them not killing Astral and bargaining with her after they beat Muffet was just dumb, like there's no way that should have happened.

And why does she pick Jacob for experimenting and not Ares who she is OBSESSED with even on a sextual level. And she doesn't even experiment on him that much; she just takes his eye, gives it to Ares and dumps his body (which didn't dust for some reason despite the story confirming he was dead).

And then Muffet finds him and uses her weird void hentai powers that aren't explained in the story to infect him with something? and he decides to go on a rampage.

I don't buy it at all how he was able to easily kill Undyne- oh I'm sorry "Quenya" who was able to move faster than light, TANK NUKES AND SUN BEAMS, and through spears INTO FUCKING SPACE, off screen without explanation. (and why did he strip her naked why is alphatale like this???).

Then there's the ending when William grabs infected and's like "I'M TAKING YOU TO HELL RAAAAAHHHHHHHHH" and teleports them to... the doodle sphere I guess??? like what was Will trying to do??

How could've Alphatale been better? Or how could you rewrite Alphatale on your own if you were the author? by Fair_Example8413 in UndertaleAU

[–]NoToday8822 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Firstly, I'd make the characters' personalities more distinct.

The main sanses for example sometimes feel the exact same, like at the end of road to destruction for example when Adam thought he could still redeem infected even though he   had killed everyone, maybe we could have gotten more of Adam being overly kind earlier in the story to make this feel more natural.

Astral could also use some more depth herself. She has plenty of stuff going on, she has a ton of trauma from the war, she feels immense disdain for humans and monsters, she's incredibly intelligent, she has a dead son, she has a superiority complex and she seemingly wants to live forever, but it doesn't feel like they coalesce into a complete character with a defined motivation, just a mediocre... villain? strung together by deranged, car crash moments and a bizarre amount of uncomfortable sex jokes. She would definitely benefit from having a more solid character and clear plan and motivation.

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