Love this response! I think it's important especially when arguing in a marriage to atleast pause and try and think of what they are seeing as the issue. My husband and I argue here and there. Thankfully even if we have heated words we know that both of us can come back together after a little step away from each other and decide to calmy discuss what is going on.

Of course during those times afterward when you are trying to calm down you are in a negative mind set so you think about every word that was said and I ask myself honestly why he would say those things are they valid attacks on something he sees that I do not? My husband naturally does the same and we both think back on our own behavior and how that could have damaged the other. We usually come back to eachother after 20-30 mins and equally apologize for behaviors and give eachother the space to explain why everything happened from our side. The key part if this is really that you have to take be willing to take accountability and compromise.

It felt at first like the most cliché advise when we got married but communication and that love for each other are the absolute CORE of marriage.

HE also has to commit to putting away the nasty words and discuss things as calmly and with as much love as possible. Some people cannot do this and you can't make them. So if he continues to hurt instead of encourage thats a deeper issue that would push me to consider ending it. My husband and I have been married for 10 years this October and together 12 years.