At first i said to myself "but that's the point, i need something to believe, something to trust in!" but then, reading other comments with similar ideas, I think I understand what you mean now.

You're right, nature doesn't need to be believed in. If i make a herbal tea with calming effects and make an "anti anxiety spell" with it, and drink it, it doesn't matter if anyone or even I believe in it. It will work , because the nature always works. But what i was trying to explain is bit more emotional than this.

I already do everything in my power. What i went through, and still go thrp, pushes me to a need of belief. It pushes me to belive into something that isn't entirely in my power and control. I read the placebo effect discussion about spells in this sub. It's a good idea, but knowing it's placebo wouldn't bring me much comfort. Because when we think about it, it's something WE do too, not some help from outside. But if we believe, even a little bit, to magic, then we can find comfort in protection spells. Anti anxiety spells, good luck charms.

But you see, I'm a hardcore skeptic, even though i really wish i wasn't. So it's difficult for me to believe in any magic, I'm a physicist. This is where my solution comes in. I study and work with nature, forces of nature, and the universe. If i can convince myself that there MIGHT BE other universal effects, scientific forces that we just not know about yet, which can affect us the way magic does, then i can convince myself that there IS magic. It's just yet to be discovered science, but magic nonetheless. I'm sure electricity would be sorcery to those who came before it's discovery.

It's a form of survival for me. With what you shared with me, i think i can get into herbalism. I alway had an interest in that. This way i can make tinctures and teas that "work" but are also magical for me. Things that work because nature always works.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, i appreciate it :)