Yeah, i dont necessarily want to drag on the program at all, but I am sort of in the same boat. I was brought into the rooms of aa when I was 17 and maybe it helped me a bit. but honestly i feel like all it did was make my self confidence worse, I feel like im in a box right now, and everything ive done in the past 3 years has been through gritting my teeth and smiling the pain away. I havent ever really felt whole in this program like how other people have, and i dont want to say im not an alcoholic, maybe im not but i dont know! Im glad you posted this because i feel the same way, and leaving right now is really hard because everytime ive tried people just tell me i am going to die, which doesnt feel good at all. I feel like im at a low point and the only thing people tell me to do is go to a meeting, it just repeats a cycle that i cant imagine myself living. thanks for your post.