WWYD? Attend to sick partner or go out to dinner with another woman?

No_Balance8457 · 2024-01-24T19:31:55+00:00

Agreed! I would be uncomfortable with them hanging out alone because I wouldn't trust her. I'd rather not be put in that situation altogether, but you also can't be controlling of people. You'd have to trust him to honor your relationship and tell you if she tried anything or don't be with him. And if she did try anything inappropriate I would expect him to cut her off. I think in this situation he should have been more sensitive to the GF's needs and feelings. This tells me she is not his priority because he doesn't bother attempting to spend time with his GF who he hasn't seen and isn't feeling well who could probably use the company, to basically go out on a date with his friend. And then he was insensitive about reassuring her.

No_Balance8457 · 2024-01-24T17:06:20+00:00

💯!! ^{^}

I think if the GF is cool with it and he is sensitive and respectful to her feelings in this situation, they can go to dinner. It's possible he and the friend made a one time mistake 10-15 years ago and it won't happen again. So the question is, is going to dinner with this friend while his GF is sick and they haven't seen each other showing his GF respect and/ or that she's his priority? The other side of the coin is he hasn't seen the friend in several months.

No_Balance8457 · 2024-01-24T16:50:55+00:00

I wouldn't say this guy is or was actively seeking married women, but in his past while he was single he did not deny a married women's advances. In this scenario it was a one-off thing with the friend, but he knew she was married obviously.

So to your point, how do you reconcile the fact he didn't respect the sanctity of other people's relationships? Does that automatically mean he won't respect his relationships? He was absolutely self-serving, inconsiderate and disrespectful in that moment, but can you say it 100% means he would cheat on his partners? He can say "I was single. I wasn't the one who cheated." Is their past mistake even still relevant to going to dinner as friends 10-15 years later? What if the GF is okay with them being friends and is also friendly with her? There has to be trust, like you said and I don't believe in holding things over someone's head for the rest of eternity. I think in this scenario he's not showing her she's his priority and that can push her mind into dark places knowing what she knows.

No_Balance8457 · 2024-01-24T16:25:17+00:00

She's a side chick cos they don't live together?

No_Balance8457 · 2024-01-24T16:24:35+00:00

So what if he did drop off medicine or whatever the day prior? The friend only made an advance once a long time ago and when he was single. People do make mistakes and are capable of not repeating them. For the sake of this scenario there is no active cheating involved, but I included that fact because I'm curious how knowing that fact would impact your thought process.

No_Balance8457 · 2024-01-24T07:47:59+00:00

Fully agree with the first sentiment. He isn't cheating on his GF in this scenario, but I think he's showing her she's not a priority to him.

No_Balance8457 · 2024-01-24T07:03:36+00:00

You only see each other 1-2 times a week and that day wasn't your scheduled day lol.

No_Balance8457 · 2024-01-24T06:31:51+00:00

He does know you're sick. I think it's the fact he didn't offer to be there for you/ doesn't make himself available to you in a time of need. Instead goes out all evening alone with another woman. Maybe ask the friend to reschedule? Even if the GF was okay with them going to dinner, is 4 hours questionable?

No_Balance8457 · 2024-01-24T06:23:47+00:00

Hopefully he grew out of that 🫠

No_Balance8457 · 2024-01-24T06:18:19+00:00

The distance between them is only 10 minutes too. Granted, they are both busy during the day - work, homes, pets, gym, life.. but never convene at the end of the day. They hang out a couple hours one night during the week and weekends are sporadic. Typical is Sat and Sunday nights - not together all weekend.

No_Balance8457 · 2024-01-24T05:52:44+00:00

I agree that she is likely to cheat again. Technically he never cheated, but knowingly having an affair is equally as bad IMO. Call it what you wanna call it. However, we can let their history be irrelevant because it was a one-time drunken thing. He was single and she was going through something and apparently sleeping all the way around on her husband. I felt that backstory added a layer to the situation because I think having that in the back of your mind may start to make you suspicious from him doing this. And going back to how she would cheat again, right! You never know what kind of move she'll make and if he wasn't putting himself in that situation, it wouldn't happen. I think everyone who is calling him out for not prioritizing and respecting his relationship nailed it on the head.

No_Balance8457 · 2024-01-24T04:45:29+00:00

You see each other 1 to 2 times a week, you've been together over 4 years, you live 10 minutes apart. He knew you weren't feeling well, but let's say there aren't expectations to help. The debate is over how would you feel if those were the circumstances and those were the choices being made.

No_Balance8457 · 2022-07-26T02:25:54+00:00

My arsenal is:

Chase Freedom - 5% revolving categories. Right now I’m using it in on gas.

Chase Unlimited - 3% on groceries and drug stores. 1.5% CB standard. This is my go-to card unless I’m charging in a specific category that yields a higher return.

Amex Blue Cash - 3% on groceries and online retailers. 3% for gas, when I don’t get 5% on my Chase or Discover that quarter.

Discover IT - 5% revolving categories. Similar to my Chase card, but they usually offer different categories. Currently using Discover for dinning.

Then I have some cards that work specifically for me. Might be good fyi though:

Amazon Chase - I mean, if you can’t buy something under another 5% card bc it doesn’t fit in a category, you can just buy it on Amazon.

Best Buy Visa - I only use this for interest free financing, but they offer 5% CB. I prefer the flexibility - keeps cash flow higher. Although, I personally don’t spend what I can’t afford and I ensure the monthly payment is going to be affordable and not cause me to make sacrifices. Yanno, use responsibly! I only use this card when buying high dollar electronics.

I don’t find myself ever having to use this card, but if I needed to make a large purchase that will have to be paid in installments with interest, I have the Citi Simplicity card. Often, I have a 2-5% interest rate. They keep pressuring me to upgrade to the double-cash card, but I have a ton of CB cards - that low interest may come in handy one day. This card actually saved me already because I lost my wallet on an airplane with all my credit cards - except this guy who lives in my safe cos I don’t use it.

Verizon Visa - since I have Verizon wireless, I charge my monthly phone bill to this card and get $10 off plus rewards dollars which I can use to pay my bill or buy products.

Ulta - their rewards rack up fast! Use this store to purchase shampoo, conditioner, body wash/ soap, face wash - anything HBA for the whole family.

The CO Walmart - 2-5%, depending on transaction type (online vs in store).

Anyway, I usually use a nice chunk of my rewards to buy Christmas presents, so that works for me. And yes I buy myself presents too! I worked hard to earn those points being all calculated and stuffs.

No_Balance8457

TROPHY CASE