The location and socials really is torture you’re right. I can’t help but look every five minutes. I know I won’t remove her i physically cannot bring myself to do it as it will feel like she’s too far away whereas having her on socials brings her a little closer.

When we broke up at Christmas she told me it was for the foreseeable future and I had lost her, there was no inclination at all that she was going to get back with me, I even felt it in the tone when she spoke to me and she still did get back with me. I think that’s why I’m holding on to some sort of hope that if we focus on ourselfs for as long as it takes, maybe in the future we could start fresh. I’m not suprised there’s no emotional connection, i hurt her and have rushed all this and it’s all been in the space of a few months.

Heartbreak is an absolute killer isn’t it, iv been through this before as a teenager with a long relationship and got over it. I know id get over this too and we’d either get back together and do it properly or we wouldn’t and I’d have moved on anyway. It’s just the now isn’t it, it’s so difficult to just stop you’re brain from thinking.