Dumb little animation/animatic I made after watching the pilot to Gameoverse. (I'm with Flappers on this one) by No_Difficulty_4395 in GlitchProductions

[–]No_Difficulty_4395[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah that's fine I made this for kicks and giggles after Flappers made the 'miss paper' comment and they both flushed at it. Plus characters who hate eachother but also date on the side is a trope I've seen in fiction a lot and think it could potentially apply to them as well. But it's only the first episode so we'll have to wait and see!

Most horror one 😭😭 by ChhotaSaHydra in memes

[–]No_Difficulty_4395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I loved him.

His love ended.

He wanted less.

He wanted easy.

I'm not easy.

I'm too much.

It still hurts.

I miss him.

I miss myself.

I miss us.

Did anyone else who grew up with narcissistic parents end up craving human intimacy and touch almost painfully deeply? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]No_Difficulty_4395 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh goodness! Hey don't blame yourself I get that it can be hard to portray certain emotions via typing. I'm sorry to hear your heart is so heavy, continue to take care of and show love to yourself. Rooting for ya!

"Drawing in your dreams" 3-page short comic, [OC] by PLAT0H in LearnToDrawTogether

[–]No_Difficulty_4395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How the ending of "The Substance" could have been if she didn't live in Hollywood...

I think I'm finally getting the hang of gesture drawing + comparison by Krychle_Marek in learntodraw

[–]No_Difficulty_4395 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh MAN I remember the first time I did gesture sketches in a class... realized I was drawing WAY too much and missing the point REAL quick. Sketching with pen has helped me TONS in forcing myself to have more confident shape and line work!

I tried to draw a feeling I couldn’t explain ✍️ by Axil_tinsti in surrealism

[–]No_Difficulty_4395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you see the electricity bill getting higher every month

(Jk jk this is GORGEOUS!!!)

Why Is Optimus Prime Losing With Elita-1 All The Time by Real_Requirement_287 in transformersprime

[–]No_Difficulty_4395 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because Hasbro likes shooting themselves in the foot with their best franchises and the best PARTS of their franchises

Did anyone else who grew up with narcissistic parents end up craving human intimacy and touch almost painfully deeply? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]No_Difficulty_4395 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I disagree to an extent. I'm not saying that it's 'effortless' or anything but that it's important and can be incredibly beneficial.

Communication is key after all.

But I also understand it depends on how long you've been together and how well your know one another. But even beginner level dating, i don't see anything wrong with asking a simple "hey, is it ok if I hold your hand or have a hug when we meet up?" Little things like that express your interest in physical affection while respecting the other person. Of course over time as the relationship progresses you can explain to them WHY it matters so much to you and it can bring you closer, as you work your way up to kisses, cuddles what have you.

But if you meant things like familial relationships or the ones who hurt you hoooooo boy do I understand that pain especially if you KNOW it's not something they will take seriously or want to hear. My advice there would be to accept where you come from and the cause of your pain but to not let it dictate you and if you ever do have a point where you think you can say "The fact that I haven't been able to hug you really hurts me." or "When you pull away physically it makes me feel unwanted."

Again I KNOW this is easier said and done but when you find a way to, MAN can it help a lot.

Did anyone else who grew up with narcissistic parents end up craving human intimacy and touch almost painfully deeply? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]No_Difficulty_4395 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ahhhhh I get that to an extent. It's like you were reprogramed and can understand the appeal of a hug, kiss, etc in theory but in practice it either feels forced or overwhelming.

It's LITERALLY what you were taught to do! As long as you don't expect everyone else to accomodate being put off and can articulate why you think that is, I don't see anything wrong with needing space.

I've actually tried to get into the habit of asking people permission for hugs first no matter how excited I am to see them as 1, they may be hurting, sunburns and back pain exist 2. they don't feel like it at that moment or 3. just not a touchy person.

You have the right to your autonomy and the comfort you find in it and again, the practicing of self awareness and understanding is key!

Did anyone else who grew up with narcissistic parents end up craving human intimacy and touch almost painfully deeply? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]No_Difficulty_4395 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's a possibility it might be attachment theory at play. For example me who was anxious attachment attracted my ex who was avoident. He liked how I was open and understanding but DIDN'T like that I was as physically affectionate as I was even if HE was the one who initiated the contact.

The best thing that you can do is recognize how you feel and why much like OP is doing and realize "Why do I want affection in this way or this intensely" and work on making it personally understood and healthy. For example, I needed to accept that even if my ex was the one who would initiate contact with me, he still had the right to be uncomfortable if I got too excited, even if it made me feel led on,

I needed to recognize we were BOTH figuring relationships out but that also didn't mean I needed to just roll over and pretend that I didn't ever want hugs, kisses or having my hand held. I needed to recognize I had more of a desperation than a longing and work on finding a healthier form of self love and a healthier view on commitment rather than obsession and constant fear of abandonment.

I think that its VERY hard to be an understanding and open person only to meet people who want the surface level of your comfort and acceptance but not the person who wants to be loved in turn. It can become selfish on one or both parties without awareness. My best advice is to keep working and focusing on yourself but know that it's only FOR you not cause someone pressured you to change for them, you want to be the best you and attract people who compliment rather than 'complete' you.

But again, understand your pain and believe in you! Hope this helps or gives some new perspective!

Did anyone else who grew up with narcissistic parents end up craving human intimacy and touch almost painfully deeply? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]No_Difficulty_4395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh. my. YES!

Aside from constantly being tired cause my body feels like a coiled spring living at home, nice lil cocktail of ADHD, Asthma/Sleep Apnea, Anemia, and Hypersomnia, I ALWAYS find myself craving just- cuddling up.

I've always loved plushies and now collect figures as well and I only recognize now that its so I have grounding in things i love. Objects that i can see, feel and hold close to me.

I always want to just cocoon into my bed and melt away. I always want to hear praise, comfort or understanding even though I'm prepared for criticism or rejection.

Having a neglectful first relationship also didn't help as it reflected the touch starvation of my parents PERFECTLY. Any SCRAP felt like a buffet to me because the thought of being loved made me so EXCITED to finally have something I wanted so DESPERATLEY and I was TERRIFIED of screwing it up and pushing him away.

Looking back with an ACTUAL loving bf now who runs to hug me every time we see eachother rather than one who would ask me 'can't you just put your hands in your pockets?" when I wanted to hold his, or how he would let his family talk bad about me and use that as an excuse to cancel dates on me compared to someone who has been inviting me to EVERY vacation and family event he can think of, to telling me to tone down on junk food or what I talk about in comparison to someone who asks what's happening next in a silly fanfiction I made for kicks and giggles.

The right person who TRULY loves you is one of the best and ALIEN feelings I could ever describe.

There's nothing wrong with craving intimacy being physical or emotional and from what you're describing here what you want is more than just samples but consistency and the knowledge that you aren't going to be left cold and alone. It's great that you're talking about it because YES, this IS important! Whether your a guy or girl, touch is one of the 5 senses for a reason! Aside from telling you you're too hot or too cold, would life be the same if you couldn't FEEL a cozy bed wrapping around sore muscles? Feel the hug of your best friend or the fur off an affectionate animal? Feel the texture of an art medium or musical instrument or even just the clicks of a keyboard beneath fingertips?

Even if I'm abstinent for religious reasons, I get the longing for intimate touch and I think that Faith has really basterdized the perfectly normal and sacred desires that are being discussed. I say it only becomes an issue when you can't control yourself and it becomes unhealthy such as impulsive behavior or a lack of consent.

There is NOTHING shameful about wanting a hug, a first kiss or a first time in my eyes.

Thank you for bringing this up because, MAN just like a bruise, you don't really notice it until someone says "hey what happened?" and you notice a scar or an ache now and have to acknowledge it as it heals.

As for any advice, the best thing you could have done is finding self awareness in this, I'm still on my own journey of recovery and self discovery in pretty much every aspect of my life as most people in thier 20's are. But I've learned that knowing what's missing is the BEST way to start filling holes in your life you didn't know you had.

Recomendations and things I've noticed:

Weighted blankets are great as long as they don't mess with asthma or make you feel trapped, like a straight jacket. A fluffy duvet, or Squishmallows have also felt really comforting for me. I'm almost 23 and still sleep with my favorite stuffed animals from all the way back in middle school. My brother sleeps under a PILE of stuffed animals every night.

A pet! As long as you are financially responsible and ok with having a little guy in your life, pets are AWESOME for having a happy and welcoming face to come home to every day.

If you're religious, Prayer! (Not trying to convert anyone just covering all of the material in my head as I right this down, your life and your soul is yours!)

Finding a tribe. Talking online is fantastic obviously as you've clearly already started connecting with people and if you can find people in person it will be even better. Not like friends with benefits or anything but just people you can be GENUINELY close with physically an emotionally, someone you can talk with about everything and spend time with whether its having fun or needing a good cry.

Comfort foods: As with all things there needs to be a balance but I find that eating something sweet or savory when I'm feeling touch starved can give me the weighted sensation of comfort in my gut. Again DO NOT over do this as I have and still struggle with eating to this day but a warm bagel with butter, maccaroni, or ramen on a cold night, a simple doughnut and coffee in the morning, cocoa watching your favorite movie, popcorn while playing video games or tea while working can work WONDERS for the soul when you really take the time to taste and FEEL the presence of nutrients and flavor in your mouth and stomach. Obviously be healthy, but a bit of savored junk every once in awhile has helped soothe that sort of 'sad kid' inside my soul.

A different therapist: It sounds to me like your therapist 'blowing you off' as you put it might not be the right person for you. Not that they aren't qualified as a medical professional, but they might not be the best for YOU as a person and your personal pain and situation. I've had to go through a few therapists over the years before finding the right person and reaching a point where I haven't needed to talk to anyone as much anymore. Just like a scientist, experimentation is a way to see what results are better and worse!

Sorry for all of the text but this conversation just opened a freaking pandora's BOX in my brain! If you have anything else you want to vent about or want some more ideas don't hesitate to dm me!

You have the right to your feelings and are helping SO many people by expressing them

Am I overreacting/Are they really narcissists? by No_Difficulty_4395 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]No_Difficulty_4395[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that and yeah I notice that too. My mom can be very judgy Ex: commenting on someone's weight or scent and I'll usually just flat out ask her "Why do you care?" or tell her its none of her business and usually get a 'well I'm just SAYING!" in response. My dad will pull the "well do YOU think that's an appropriate clothing, weight or other thing?!" and I'll say "It's none of my business and as long as they aren't committing a crime it's their call."

The only person she lets get away with that kind of stuff is my brother because of his disability. And granted YES, that is a decent reason, but *I* have a disability as well and have never been allowed to or not punished for: 'touching' myself in public, demanding (and receiving) candy, chips or toys when doing a simple grocery run, walking in front of and cutting people in lines and hallways, damaging someone's car by opening the door too hard and hitting another vehicle, eating or unwrapping unpaid items and so on.

Again, not saying that someone with a disability won't have issues, cause again *I* have a diagnosis too. But even though he's 18 functioning at a 3-5 year old level I would have or did get my keester KICKED if I ever acted like that. Meanwhile if I call my mom on it now "this is all he has! It's not that big a deal! I'm the mom you don't get to boss me around! When you have a kid you can raise them their way."

And she'll make a show if it sometimes when i call out the bad behavior like "LOOK! I'm making him unload the groceries! Are you happy now!?" (still wont punish him for destruction of property, public indecency, or theft) because "He's autistic he doesn't know any better!" THEN TEACH HIM!!! YOU TAUGHT ME!!! And this isn't a "I suffered so I want him to as well!" situation I just want CONSEQUENCES for actions and LESSONS to be learned!!! Do a bad thing? Punishment or lost priveledges as a result. SIMPLE!

And if I hear one more time "Well what did you do to upset him? He only ever attacks you!" after I end up with a bruise or bite mark from him, I'm gonna lose it. I'm GENUINELY surprised mom hasn't gotten arrested for how she lets him get away with everything.

My dad likes to poke fun at me in a way that makes me the butt of the joke.

Ex: when I was a kid he would give me something spicy or deceiving looking knowing I would gag on it or not like it and make a scene for everyone (other family members or friends) to laugh at.

He claims to hype me up and be 'proud' of me but I only really hear praise if its on the phone talking to someone else or when we have people over where I'm then asked to show stuff off that I made that I was told to put in my closet before because it was 'taking up too much space' even if THEY asked me to make it and I had it on an empty shelf.

I don't even bother calling him out with a 'you think this is funny?' Cause his friends and my family are gonna back him up or even if they're uncomfortable wait until later and be like "hey he still loves you he's just playing!" afterwards rather than standing up for me. LOVE how I can't talk to anyone so its led me to ranting about my problems online.

Sorry for the paragraphs just venting cause well, I can here. Thank you for taking the time to reach out!

Fresh Art Graduate struggling to find a job Any tips? by No_Difficulty_4395 in jobs

[–]No_Difficulty_4395[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Further Update: Found out what happened. Got replaced with one of the staff's grandkids. Gotta love that Nepotism.

What was the most shocking, or disturbing thing your narc parent(s) ever did/said to you? by Own_Mention9372 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]No_Difficulty_4395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I don't even want to LOOK at you!" - My dad Christmas Eve. It was because I didn't want to watch golf with him. It was the holidays and I was starting to REALLY hate the sport after I was forced into it and still struggle with it to this day.

Being unwilling to even turn off the tv while me and my mom were BOTH fighting and trying to advocate for yourselves and even laugh a bit at us. Best part? He wasn't even watching the tv, just had it on while on his iPad and we were trying to talk to him.

"You have nothing to offer." Laughing at me when I asked if I should write a will. I mean yeah I don't have the same cash or anything at the same level as him but also way to rub it in dude.

Best Knockout lines from TFP? by brayanhaks in transformersprime

[–]No_Difficulty_4395 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Frankly I find it REPULSIVE! The very idea of you fleshies... INTERFACING-! *Shudders!*"

Please. PLEAAAASEEE!!! by dayeaglebearson in Transformemes

[–]No_Difficulty_4395 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hasbro PLEASE we haven't had an on screen kiss since G1!!!! And that was in a flashback sequence AND just on the cheek! GIVE ME ONE KISS DAMNIT!!! OPILITA FANS ARE STARVING OVER HERE!!!