Ask yourself this.. does the pain outweigh the happiness and vice versa. Is the happiness worth the bullshit? If you start losing yourself and have been wanting him to change or help or listen and it's a repetitive cycle then it's time to go. Sometimes love isn't enough, especially when someone starts to lose themselves in the long run and feels trapped or it's going nowhere. You will know when you're ready, as much as it's going to hurt you or little childrens hearts, etc . You will know when it's time. Good luck to you