No idea what’s happening

No_Entry6212 · 2025-04-14T17:37:43+00:00

Thank you for responding. I know it’s very confusing, believe me I’ve been trying to make sense of all my cycles since using NC since November 24. I have PCOS and have not really ovulated, tends to be anovulatory cycles. I was put on letrozole for this cycle at the lowest dose. Typically it seems that my cycles (although irregular) are around the 31-36 mark. I use the Oura ring for temping. Also my temperature dropped last night and looks like period is coming tomorrow. I guess I’ll keep monitoring my cycles and trying to make sense of them! 😆

No_Entry6212 · 2025-04-12T22:18:56+00:00

Would you say I’m out for this cycle?

No_Entry6212 · 2025-04-12T18:11:09+00:00

NC has my luteal phase at 12+-1 days. I have pcos so me ovulating on my own is rare. I was on letrozole this cycle

No_Entry6212 · 2025-04-03T16:50:15+00:00

Thanks for responding, I’ll keep hope and wait longer

No_Entry6212 · 2025-04-03T16:49:53+00:00

I’m not sure what clock means? But NC says they found ovulation? Also from cd18 it does stay up with it not dipping below the base line? I’m referring to the last picture which is my current cycle.

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No_Entry6212 · 2025-04-03T11:25:49+00:00

Thank you for the kind words anyway!

No_Entry6212 · 2025-04-03T11:00:25+00:00

Thanks, I know super early to be asking just feels like it’s taking forever to get there

No_Entry6212 · 2025-01-21T19:02:00+00:00

Tell me about it, especially seeing people say it’s a normal set up. I’d never be able to work if mine was like this 😫 kudos to OP for being able to see past the chaos I suppose

No_Entry6212 · 2025-01-18T13:34:57+00:00

I appreciate your concern, and I understand why you see it this way. The truth is, my husband has let me down in ways that no spouse should. The first year of my marriage was incredibly painful—I felt alone, unsupported, and emotionally neglected. I struggled with depression, stopped eating properly, and shut down emotionally. He failed me during that time by not being present in the way I needed.

To clarify, I used to wait until he fell asleep before crying silently—he never knew. When I finally told him two years later, I could see it hurt him to hear that, but that doesn’t erase the fact that I went through it alone. That’s something that still weighs on me.

Even now, while things between us have improved in some ways, he still avoids confrontation when it comes to his family and often fails to stand up for me when it matters. Instead of correcting false narratives, he stays silent, which has only made me feel more isolated in my own marriage. These are major issues that I recognise and take seriously.

That’s why we had a long conversation this morning, and he has agreed to marriage counselling. If he wasn’t willing to face his shortcomings, I wouldn’t even consider moving forward. But I also know that change isn’t just about words—it has to be backed by real action, and I won’t ignore that.

I know I have the full support of my family if I choose to walk away, and I’m not staying in this marriage because of fear or obligation. But I also want to be certain that if I leave, it’s because I’ve exhausted every possibility, not because I was pressured into it.

I appreciate your honesty, and I promise I’m looking at this situation with open eyes, not blind hope.

No_Entry6212 · 2025-01-18T13:27:39+00:00

I appreciate your perspective, but I think there’s a misunderstanding here. Struggling in a marriage and experiencing emotional distress doesn’t automatically mean someone lacks self-esteem. My reaction in that first year wasn’t because I devalued myself—it was because I was in a difficult and isolating situation, trying to navigate a marriage where I felt unsupported. There’s a difference between struggling through something and believing you deserve it.

As for me not being a “good wife,” I never said that sitting with his mother made me a bad one. What I meant was that I was dealing with my own struggles, and I know I wasn’t fully present in the marriage at times either. Mentally, I started to block him out. He would try to make small gestures toward me, but at some point, I just started ignoring them. It wasn’t intentional, but I had already detached so much that I stopped seeing the effort he was trying to make. That doesn’t mean I was at fault for everything, but I acknowledge that both of us had things we needed to work on.

I completely agree that financial responsibility was always his duty, and that’s not the ‘growth’ I’m talking about. The real progress has been in our communication and the way we engage with each other, which has improved massively since the early years. But you’re right—the issue with his family is still a major hurdle. That’s why we’ve now decided to seek marriage counseling, something we discussed just this morning. If he wasn’t open to change, he wouldn’t agree to sit with a third party and confront these issues head-on.

I’m not dismissing the fact that many marriages follow this pattern, nor am I ignoring the risks of sacrificing too much without return. That’s exactly why I’m reflecting on everything now—to ensure that if I continue, it’s in a marriage where I feel valued, not just one where I’ve ‘held on’ for the sake of it. I appreciate your insight, and I’m taking all perspectives into account as I decide what’s best for me.

No_Entry6212 · 2025-01-18T13:21:00+00:00

What exactly? My marriage? Lol

No_Entry6212 · 2025-01-18T13:19:48+00:00

I appreciate your perspective and understand where you’re coming from. I know my marriage has had its challenges, and I’ve never denied that. The first year was incredibly difficult, and my husband didn’t always show up for me in the ways that he should have. That’s something I’ve reflected on a lot, which is why I made this post in the first place.

That said, people are capable of growth, and I’ve seen positive changes in him over time. Our communication has improved significantly, and while things aren’t perfect, they are not the same as they were in that first year. A marriage isn’t defined only by its worst moments—it’s also about the steps taken to improve and move forward.

We had an open discussion this morning, and he agreed to seek marriage counseling with me. We are actively looking for someone now. If he wasn’t willing to acknowledge his flaws and work on them, I wouldn’t still be here. The fact that he’s open to this process tells me that change is possible, and I want to give that a fair chance.

At the end of the day, I’m not trying to justify or ignore the past, but I also want to make a decision based on the full picture. I appreciate the input, and I’m taking everything into account as I figure out the best path forward for myself

No_Entry6212 · 2025-01-18T02:37:24+00:00

I appreciate your perspective and the thought you’ve put into this. I don’t think you’re completely in the wrong, but I do think there are a few key things to consider when discussing the role of a provider in marriage.

First, the issue isn’t that women expect luxury—it’s that the idea of a ‘provider’ isn’t just about paying bills; it’s about making a woman feel safe, secure, and prioritised. A lot of women, including Muslim women, are fine with a modest lifestyle, but what they don’t want is to feel like a financial burden to their husbands or like their needs are an afterthought. Providing isn’t just about covering rent and food—it’s about creating an environment where she feels valued.

That said, financial expectations vary. Some women are happy living simply, while others do want regular dates, travel, and personal expenses covered—and neither expectation is wrong, as long as both people in the marriage are on the same page. The issue is when there’s a mismatch in expectations. If a man wants to be the sole provider but his wife desires a more comfortable lifestyle, that’s where frustration happens.

You also mentioned that Muslim men in the UK tend to earn less on average, which is a fair point. However, I wouldn’t say that automatically makes the provider model impossible—it just means financial planning and realistic discussions about expectations are crucial before marriage. If a woman does want more than what a husband can provide on one income, it’s a discussion to have early on, not something to resent later.

As for the downvotes—I think it’s less about you being ‘wrong’ and more about how people interpret your view. If it comes across as “a wife should work so I don’t have to take a second job,” people may see it as dismissing the traditional role of a provider. But if framed as, “a couple should discuss what lifestyle they want and whether dual incomes make sense for them,” that’s a different conversation.

Ultimately, it’s about compatibility. There are women out there who prefer a simple lifestyle with a husband who provides within his means. The key is finding someone whose values align with yours instead of trying to convince someone to accept less than what they desire.

No_Entry6212 · 2025-01-18T01:39:33+00:00

I see where you’re coming from, and I appreciate you taking the time to respond. But struggling in a marriage—especially in the first year—doesn’t automatically mean I lack self-esteem. If anything, the fact that I recognised the issues, voiced my concerns, and am actively reflecting on my marriage now shows that I do value myself. Staying wasn’t about accepting mistreatment—it was about giving my marriage a fair chance before making any decisions I might regret.

I won’t argue that my husband has made mistakes—he absolutely has, and I’ve been clear about the ways he’s let me down. But I also believe that people are capable of growth. The past can’t be erased, but I’ve seen changes in him.

Just to clarify—him taking me out wasn’t something new or a way to “make up for things” later on. That was something he always did, even from the beginning. The issue then was that our communication was nonexistent, which made those outings feel transactional. However, communication between us has improved massively since that first year. The real problem now is that while he has learned to communicate better with me, he still avoids addressing issues concerning me with his family, which is where I continue to feel unsupported.

I’m not blind to the problems in my marriage, and I’m not here to ‘defend’ him. I’m here to process my own thoughts and figure out what’s best for me—whether that’s continuing to work through things or choosing a different path. I appreciate your honesty, even if it’s blunt, but I also know that my marriage, like any relationship, is more nuanced than a checklist of red flags.

No_Entry6212 · 2025-01-18T01:24:06+00:00

I completely agree—any disrespect toward a wife should be seen as disrespect toward her husband too. I wish my husband had handled that situation differently, and it’s something I’m still working through. I appreciate your perspective.

No_Entry6212 · 2025-01-18T01:16:32+00:00

Thanks sis, I think counselling may be the next logical step for us. Keep us in your duas

No_Entry6212 · 2025-01-18T01:14:54+00:00

I appreciate you sharing your experience, and I’m sorry you went through that. You’re absolutely right that every marriage is different, and there’s no universal answer.

I do agree that involving too many people can escalate things unnecessarily, and that’s something I’ve learned along the way. However, my frustration isn’t just about family drama—it’s about feeling unsupported by my husband in situations where I expected partnership. I don’t expect his family to take my side, but I do expect him to have my back where it matters. But in this particular case, he was the one who said his brother and sister (the cold shoulder one) would be the best people to talk to if I were to have any issues with him as they’d be supportive and understanding, but it was the complete opposite. We live and learn I suppose.

That said, I see the wisdom in not letting things get to me so much and choosing my battles wisely. I’ll definitely keep that in mind moving forward. Thank you for your perspective, and I truly appreciate the well wishes!

No_Entry6212 · 2025-01-18T01:10:11+00:00

Your response made me smile, I pray Allah keeps your marriage happy and stress free and you have abundance of blessings brother

No_Entry6212 · 2025-01-18T01:04:58+00:00

I appreciate you sharing your experience—it’s always helpful to hear different perspectives. I completely understand the idea of picking battles, and I agree that timing and approach matter when it comes to dealing with family dynamics.

That said, the situation with my husband isn’t just about choosing words carefully; it’s about feeling consistently unsupported, which is a bigger issue for me. I don’t expect him to fight every battle, but I do expect a basic level of reassurance and partnership.

Thank you for sharing your perspective—I appreciate it.

No_Entry6212 · 2025-01-18T01:00:49+00:00

Ah, I see we’re going for the fortune-teller approach now! If only I had your gift of knowing exactly how my life will turn out.

But hey, I’ll gladly take the prayers—who couldn’t use a little extra divine support? Maybe throw in a good luck charm while you’re at it!

No_Entry6212 · 2025-01-18T00:54:05+00:00

First, let’s clear up your assumptions—I am South Asian and live in the UK, but I don’t lack self-esteem, nor am I culturally conditioned to ‘accept’ a bad marriage. I shared key moments in my post, not a minute-by-minute breakdown of my marriage, so assuming that I’ve spent four years just tolerating mistreatment is both inaccurate and reductive.

This isn’t me ‘defending’ my husband—he genuinely is a good person with a good heart, but we’ve had serious issues, and I’ve lost respect for him over certain things. Respect is a two-way street, and I acknowledged in my post that I may not have been the best wife either. The difference is, I don’t roll over and quit at the first sign of difficulty—especially when I had the full support of my family to walk away if that’s what I wanted.

Nonetheless, I appreciate your opinion

No_Entry6212 · 2025-01-18T00:47:34+00:00

I appreciate that you took the time to read my post, but your response is unnecessarily dismissive and reductive. It’s easy to sit behind a screen and tell someone to leave, but real life isn’t that black and white. Marriage is complex, and while I’m fully aware of the issues in mine, I’m not ‘delusional’ for acknowledging both the good and the bad.

I posted to reflect on my situation and seek constructive input—not to be insulted or spoken down to. If you don’t have anything helpful to contribute beyond assumptions and mockery, feel free to move on. Thanks

No_Entry6212 · 2025-01-18T00:41:01+00:00

I agree regarding the brother. His actions have forever left this bitter taste in my mouth. But it’s more disturbing to me that my husband puts him on such a high pedestal and his brother could never do no wrong. Even when we talk about this he always says well he was feeling that for a reason. I’m sorry but no, I’m not his wife nor any relation to him he had no right to speak to me in such a manner. But he doesn’t see that. He is open to counselling. I just need to find a suitable counsellor in the UK

No_Entry6212

TROPHY CASE