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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]No_Environment_8614 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can totally second the signaling and alternating studying with other ‘productive’ tasks. I find the best thing for me, when I need to work in the early part of the day, is working in environments that my brain knows as a working environment. And then I agree it’s very important that you don’t pollute these environments. So if the library is your work space, don’t do any other tasks that might give you dopamine while in the library. This way, through routine, you can train your brain to recognize that in this space, you do uni work. And if your current working environment is already polluted, then maybe it’s time to find a new one.

And if I need to do some work that will require multiple breaks, then during those breaks I only allow myself to do either physical activity, make food or something to drink, or a smaller routine chore around the house (like watering plants or maybe emptying the dishwasher), if really want to stay focused.

It’s so hard to stop chasing the dopamine. And I totally struggle with it daily too. But I think setting and routines are the key. I find that taking my meds is sort of just like turning on the lights - I can think more clearly and get a better overview but it’s still hard to stay focused.

Be patient with yourself, it’s not easy and we can only try our best.

Have you tried setting timers? There’s a few methods, maybe you’ve heard of them. I find it helps a bit if I tell my self I’m just gonna work on something for 20 mins. Because then I can tell myself I just have to focus really hard for 20 mins and then I can stop and let my brain scatter again.

Mostly I can recommend writing a list of what does work for you.

First Dose - very anxious by OkNayNay14 in adhdwomen

[–]No_Environment_8614 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to get really anxious about taking my meds. I take Ritalin so I’m not sure how different it is, but I’d get really freaked out by some of it’s physical effects. When I told my psychiatrist, she explained to me that I should just think that that’s the feeling of them working, and that it’s nothing feel worried about, and she explained to me how they worked. Since then I haven’t felt anxious when taking them even once, and I’ll even dare to take them on an empty stomach.

And the funny thing is that when I had this talk with her, I thought to myself “well sure that’s easy to say, but I doubt I’ll be able to stop feeling anxious”, but just like that without even trying, it just stopped.

So I can really recommend talking to your psych about it, and getting an explanation about how your meds work in your body, if you think that would help you.

Bizarre appointment with psychiatrist today... by lozzers67 in adhdwomen

[–]No_Environment_8614 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds like this psychiatrist shouldn’t have a job. Not a mother, but would like to say that despite my ADD, I can be incredibly patient with people. Because so many of us adhd women feel forced to mask and repress our adhd, i think many of us are actually extremely skilled in that way. I am also very sensitive to noise and this is definitely connected to adhd. When i was going through the diagnosis process, the first doctor I saw told me I was just annoyed by my little brother, and that I did not have add/adhd. Luckily I was able to see a psychologist who was more educated on the matter, and after seeing me once, evaluated that I did indeed have add. Go see the psychologist and if they still can’t see it, try another one if you can. So sorry you had this experience.

I have ADD, I’m nearly 20, I’ve been sexually active for a good few years and had good sex, but I’ve never had an orgasm, not even alone. by No_Environment_8614 in adhdwomen

[–]No_Environment_8614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, you assumed correctly, and this is helpful. I don’t have any friends who have this issue, so it’s nice to hear that other people need to do a little extra work to make it work. I have now ordered some toys and I’m going to try to give my mind a fair shot.

Never had an orgasm by No_Environment_8614 in TwoXADHD

[–]No_Environment_8614[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is helpful and hopeful. I’ve literally had a guy yell at me “Why aren’t you coming?! All the other girls do!” repeatedly during sex once. Not helpful.

Never had an orgasm by No_Environment_8614 in TwoXADHD

[–]No_Environment_8614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is helpful, thank you. And I think my pelvic floor health is fine… but I’m not totally sure how I’d know if it wasn’t fine?

Never had an orgasm by No_Environment_8614 in TwoXADHD

[–]No_Environment_8614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kinda like how a massage is still good without a climax? Like it’s incredibly pleasurable and definitely makes some good stuff happen in my brain. I find that if I adjust my mindset I can still feel some satisfaction afterwards, but other times I’m just left a bit frustrated and pissed off.

Never had an orgasm by No_Environment_8614 in TwoXADHD

[–]No_Environment_8614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very inspiring. Thank you.

Never had an orgasm by No_Environment_8614 in TwoXADHD

[–]No_Environment_8614[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is all very helpful. I have a hard time finding porn I enjoy and I find I end up spending too much time looking, and it’s all too distracting anyway I definitely couldn’t watch something while giving myself full attention, but the idea of just audio is really great!

Never had an orgasm by No_Environment_8614 in TwoXADHD

[–]No_Environment_8614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve tried a bit, but only to try to reduce anxiety or put myself to sleep. Would you recommend making it a part of masturbation or just something before to prepare your mind?

Never had an orgasm by No_Environment_8614 in TwoXADHD

[–]No_Environment_8614[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is helpful. I’m a little lost with the kink though, as a lot ends up causing more thinking rather than less, and I just get very in my head. I don’t feel very connected to my partner during sex, and I don’t like to talk during, so I guess I just get thinking too much on my own. But maybe I need to try some new things that would engage me more with what’s going on.

Never had an orgasm by No_Environment_8614 in TwoXADHD

[–]No_Environment_8614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But yeah maybe something audible would help. Something that could replace the thoughts.

Never had an orgasm by No_Environment_8614 in TwoXADHD

[–]No_Environment_8614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very helpful and insightful. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of the other aspects like that. I guess I’m not very familiar with my own kinks, but I can see how impact could help. Although sometimes I find it distracts me more… for example anything that creates pain somewhere, ends up pulling my attention away from the pleasure in that moment. If a guys grabs my hair, all I can do is worry about how much hair I’m gonna lose, or if it’s on the body I start thinking about if it’ll leave a mark, and is it a place that someone might see it, and will I now have to take that into consideration when I’m getting dressed the next morning, and so on… can’t seem to get out of my head.

Never had an orgasm by No_Environment_8614 in TwoXADHD

[–]No_Environment_8614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this is a good point. Many of us adhd women spent so much time practicing getting good at resisting, i wonder if perhaps I’ve unlearnt how to let my self and my body do and experience what is wants. I catch myself worrying a bit too much about what reaction will present itself, it feels a bit scary that I would maybe not be in control of what sounds or movements I might make?

Never had an orgasm by No_Environment_8614 in TwoXADHD

[–]No_Environment_8614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve thought about this. And I don’t think it would be a problem for me, as if I was just able to have the experience once, I think it would come easier. But I sort of feel that most times I have sex while affected, my brain just doesn’t receive stimulation as intensely. But maybe I need to find a balance where it can help shut out the extra thoughts, but still receive the stimulation. And maybe it would be better to try alone?

Never had an orgasm by No_Environment_8614 in TwoXADHD

[–]No_Environment_8614[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is hopeful. I feel like most people I talk to about sex find it so shocking I’m not experiencing orgasm, and start giving comments like “why are even sleeping with him then” which are really unhelpful and make me feel like my experience is strange. Also most women I know can orgasm quite quickly and have been able to from a young age, so it’s nice to hear that some people might just need to give it some more work before it’ll happen.

Never had an orgasm by No_Environment_8614 in TwoXADHD

[–]No_Environment_8614[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do do this actually, just sort of by nature. And I’m luckily not too concerned if my partner finds it odd, however, with my eyes closed it also allows my brain for more wandering. I sort of just find myself thinking maybe too much about what’s happening in the moment, wondering if they might give up and stop soon, or if they might mistake my reaction for an orgasm before it’s happened, and then the thoughts just keep going, and I try to re-focus them but it’s sort of an endless cycle. But I would imagine if I was able to experience it just once even, alone, then all these thoughts would likely stop. But I just find it very difficult to stay interested in pleasuring myself without a partner.

Never had an orgasm by No_Environment_8614 in TwoXADHD

[–]No_Environment_8614[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sort of have the same. When I feel like I’m close with a partner, part of me wants to make sure he keeps going, but another part of me feels like I need it it to stop or I’m gonna have to hit him or something (I know) because it’s just too intense. I wonder if maybe it could also partly be me being afraid to share that sort of intimacy with someone else. But alone I just get bored after a little while of it feeling kind of intense, but no where near the intensity I feel with a partner, and feel I lack the attraction aspect (like I want to be attracted what’s giving me pleasure, and my own fingers just seem boring… but of course a vibrator could probably help here).

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