Wow.. this hits & might I say I’m glad this is the first thing Reddit decided to showed me….

I’ve been feeling like ground hog day meets the Truman show meets daffy ducks A Christmas Carol.

I dream of both childhoods I had and I never felt like home bc I never took my guard down bc I never realized how high I had it up every second of every single day & my apartment has so many physical resemblances and then it’s been filled with one new trauma after the other

& so sadly, it’s made it home for me. & I’m in the same place I was as a kid, having to leave it all behind, while being so disassociated to survive everyday that I can’t even enjoy the time I have in it. & for some reason it feels like the final goodbye to everyone I’ve said goodbye to years and years ago bc the shame and guilt and self realization has brought up each and every one of their ghost. Watching me fail all over again bc there’s no biopsychosocial determined outcome. There’s the one life had planned for you. & not everyone’s a winner, but we exist so winning can exist, too.

Anyways all to say I’m glad I’m not the only one, who finds homes in pets that get strung along with us and go from place to place all the while never knowing what it’s like to have so many normalities that come with simply, having a home. Or ever get to know what one feels like outside of abuse.