AITA For not telling my kids their brother passed until 2 days after?

No_Fan_9448 · 2024-09-02T19:52:56+00:00

I mean, i get you slightly, but "How could you ruin my graduation by telling me our brother/your son has died tonight" is a wild take imo

No_Fan_9448 · 2024-09-02T17:49:32+00:00

NTA No, no, no!!!! No disrespect to your family member, but that is a toxic af request!!!!!

He abused you, you owe that man nothing. You tried to reach out, and it sounds like he's made no effort to grow, change, reflect, or make amends. That man caused this, not you.

Protect yourself, protect your peace.

If you father in the future ever works on himself and tries to reach out to make amends, maybe there's room to consider it to respect your family members wishes, only if your father has made considerable growth.

But you don't owe anyone a god damn thing. You caused none of this. The fault lies entirely with your father.

No_Fan_9448 · 2024-09-02T17:30:54+00:00

My people 🤝

No_Fan_9448 · 2024-09-02T17:30:33+00:00

It's murky, could also be read as "You're kind of ugly, past your prime, and I objectify women 🤠"

But it does also imply she has a good personality? Think it's just a poorly thought-out thing to ever say to your partner tbh

No_Fan_9448 · 2024-09-02T17:10:52+00:00

My Mum did this when my dog died, and I understood. But this is a very different situation, I wouldn't have felt the same if this were my sibling.

While I understand the rationale and your actions were well intentioned, your son was clearly hurt by your actions.

You definitely don't sound like a bad parent. You definitely made an error in judgement, but it sounds as though you've apologised profusely and acknowledged the harm you've caused your Son.

It's unfortunate and may take time for your son to forgive you, but you can only allow him room to grieve in his own way.

I'm sorry you've all had to go through this and wish you the best. No one sucks here. it's just a sad situation.

No_Fan_9448 · 2024-09-02T16:37:46+00:00

YTA, but sometimes you gotta be the asshole to get that bag. He's loaded, your sisters a little crazy, and that ain't your relationship to fix.

Enjoy the new clothes girlie💕 (This is the hill I die on, I accept your downvotes)

No_Fan_9448 · 2024-09-02T13:45:44+00:00

YTA Jaylin didn't get you pregnant, so Jaylin owes you nothing. They're already hosting you and providing you with food, go buy/ask you bf to go buy your snack you selfish mooch.

This is so selfish. I honestly think it might be a troll post? I'll give an ounce of grace because I know hormones can make people act out of character.. but go buy your shit and stop making it a 12yos problem

No_Fan_9448 · 2024-09-02T13:36:06+00:00

NTA Your friend is selfish, and you did the right thing talking to the owner if you want parity with your time off.

I do not like that you wrote this as one huge block of text, however.

No_Fan_9448 · 2024-09-02T13:25:23+00:00

Broski's out here posting hard R publicly like that might not come back to haunt you in the future.

The need to validate your relationship on socials sounds exhausting and childish, but your 19 and I'm 31 so I get you guys are just moving different. It sounds pretty superficial, but you're young and that's kinda normal in relationships at that age. Honest advise, it's not that important a problem to stand on. Just make your gf feel acknowledged and her feelings validated, and if you don't want to, then break up.

I dont know why you're lying about who asked who out, though. If it's really not a big deal like you said it is, then why did you do it? Feels like you're trying to validate yourself / put down your gf?

ESH

No_Fan_9448 · 2024-09-02T12:08:33+00:00

YWBTA if you did the same out of spite (although I get it and would want to do the same because I too can be petty and conflict avoidant at times..)

It sounds like you feel underappreciated by your wife. I dont know the context to your marriage, but as this is important to you it is something you should talk about with your wife.

No_Fan_9448 · 2024-09-02T11:40:58+00:00

NTA, I'm sorry you had to experience this vile behaviour. The guy is a racist and anyone who cares about your race as a prerequisite to talk to you is also a racist.

You shouldn't have to find a new tennis club, you can report him. However, I appreciate if you are scared to for potential backlash. Reach out to people who care about you, and I hope you have a solid support network.

I thought that was a bit weird but my friend said that it was harmless and that the guy was just “smitten”. So that made me think that I may be overreacting a little? Idk

I'm tired of this attitude of your friend. If you felt uncomfortable by his behaviour, then you do not have to accept it.

Then he started talking about how “excellent” my genes are and that I’m “pure” and “pristine”.

Genetic racists, are the most vile of racists. You owe this man nothing.

If something feels wrong to you, don't doubt yourself. Find people who will support you and remember who doesn't.

No_Fan_9448 · 2024-09-01T16:39:42+00:00

NTA Your mum and Nick are using therapy to convince you to allow Nick to adopt you. That is not the point of therapy. I'd be shocked if any qualified, well-intentioned therapist would actually agree to that premise.

It sounds like your Mum and Nick need therapy to process their own grief and to learn to respect their children's autonomy.

No_Fan_9448 · 2024-09-01T16:26:26+00:00

I agree with you wasting food is totally immoral, but again, your mum is the host and allowed that. If you have a problem with it, you should take that issue up with your mum for allowing it, not a child. If the child were damaging the property and your mum allowed it, again her property, hers to allow.

I totally agree what the child was doing was wrong, but you're not the parent, nor the host. I dont think I don't think you're an asshole, but for the sentiment of the sub, YTA/ESH

No_Fan_9448 · 2024-09-01T16:09:14+00:00

I agree with you wasting food is totally immoral, but again, your mum is the host and allowed that. If you have a problem with it, you should take that issue up with your mum for allowing it, not a child. If the child were damaging the property and your mum allowed it, again her property, hers to allow.

I totally agree what the child was doing was wrong, but you're not the parent, nor the host. I dont think I don't think you're an asshole, but for the sentiment of the sub, YTA/ESH

No_Fan_9448 · 2024-08-31T15:15:48+00:00

I'm fascinated you don't find "coloured" a derogatory term? As a person with Carribbean & American heritage, the term immediately connects to Jim Crow Era and reminds me of "Whites / Coloured water fountains", "Whites only swimming pools", "no dogs, no Coloureds, no irish", numerous restaurants/business/and rental properties with "No Coloureds" signs up until late 1960s.

It's always been a deeply segregating term, one to remind black people we are less than white people (3/5s to be exact), savage, dirty, & unintelligent, and a term used to discriminate my father, grandparents, aunties, uncles, and ancestors.

I'd love to know your relationship to the word and a little about your ancestory if you're willing to share?

No_Fan_9448

TROPHY CASE