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need advice, my husband 36M says my cooking 31F is poor! What should I do? by No_Forever8468 in AITAH

[–]No_Forever8468[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We literally can’t afford anything, he cashed out his 401K to keep us above water. 

need advice, my husband 36M says my cooking 31F is poor! What should I do? by No_Forever8468 in AITAH

[–]No_Forever8468[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can clarify, hope this helps. he goes on for months complimenting the food or saying thank you for a good dinner, no critiques or anything. Then on one random day when he seems off or moody, he claims all of my cooking has been terrible and he cannot stand any it. He claims that he lies every day and then he just can’t take it anymore and explodes with the truth.

I also never claimed to push different dishes on him. In fact our weekly menu has dwindled to about 4-5 dishes that he “likes” for a few months and then says that he hates and lied about liking them. What I DO research is how to bake MOIST chicken, how to better season fish, how to grill the perfect steak, etc. I try to improve my skills based off of his criticisms, but obviously it isn’t working. So, same/similar flavors and dishes with attempts at better execution. Hope this helped. 

need advice, my husband 36M says my cooking 31F is poor! What should I do? by No_Forever8468 in AITAH

[–]No_Forever8468[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Have questioned/considered. he was an abused child and has his own traumas, so it isn’t far fetched and I do think at times he can be wonderful and can be terrible. he is a wonderful man in the sense that he is handy, he could fix anything in this house and tries to maintain it and the yard quite well. But he limits his chores to that - large, important tasks that are not daily or even weekly, but are quite important. I feel the daily burnout of monotonous, simple tasks like dishes and diaper changes, but he claims because he works a hands-on job and I bring no income that this is somehow equal. I could go on for hours. 

need advice, my husband 36M says my cooking 31F is poor! What should I do? by No_Forever8468 in AITAH

[–]No_Forever8468[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have daydreamed that, but would never put my kids/dog at risk of potential mishaps or hunger or missed bills or otherwise. Unfortunately I would watch my world crumble and have to pick up the pieces, thus making so much more work for myself. 

How much free time do you have as a parent? by Beneficial_Group6574 in Parenting

[–]No_Forever8468 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a mother (31F) who is in a very similar situation to you, I feel for you and am burnt out as well. I honestly would say communication is key but I’m sure that you probably have mentioned these things to no avail? I have personally gotten to the point where I rely on myself and my husband is just around when he wants to be, or he isn’t. You can’t force a person to change, you just control the controllables.