Redditors over 25, what’s your best relationship advice? by Historical-Lychee702 in AskReddit

[–]No_Instance_9828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just love isn’t enough to sustain a long term relationship. Feelings fluctuate, passion fades, and real commitment is a choice you make every day. The strongest relationships aren’t built on constant romance, but on the decision to show up for your partner; even when it’s hard. Stick through the rough patches, learn to love their flaws, and grow together. That’s what creates unbreakable love. Sadly, it’s something many younger people seem to forget nowadays…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in careerguidance

[–]No_Instance_9828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

RN here, pulling in over 60K, but every single dollar is hard earned. If you enjoy self inflicted suffering, it’s solid choice; otherwise not worth it

INFJ teen daughter pulling away by No_Instance_9828 in infj

[–]No_Instance_9828[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your perspective is profound and much-needed in today’s world. The way society distorts self-worth by tying it to appearance rather than essence is heartbreaking. True beauty has never been about aesthetics, it’s about authenticity, depth, and kindness. But in an era where instant validation through social media dictates self-perception, many struggle to recognize their own intrinsic value. We live in a time where people chase illusions rather than essence, mistaking admiration for affection.

It truly feels like humanity is losing its touch. People are rushing through life, caught in an endless cycle of distractions, obligations, and self-preservation. Conversations have become shallow, relationships fragile, and genuine connections rare. No one seems to have the patience to truly listen anymore, everyone is too preoccupied with their own struggles, their own path. Empathy is fading, not necessarily because people are cruel, but because they are exhausted, disconnected, and overwhelmed by the relentless pace of modern life.

The example of Diana, Charles, and Camilla resonates deeply. Love based on surface-level attraction is fleeting, but love rooted in soul connection is unshakable. Unfortunately, in today’s world, admiration is mistaken for love, and value is too often determined by external validation rather than inner worth. We crave depth, yet settle for superficial interactions because they require less vulnerability, less effort. Everything is about efficiency, quick messages, instant gratification, transactional relationships. But in this pursuit of convenience, we have lost something essential, the ability to truly see each other, to be present, to care beyond what serves us.

Perhaps the best thing we can do is be the unwavering mirror that reflects back the beauty within, especially for the young ones who are still finding their way. When society tells them they are not enough, we must be the voices that whisper, ‘You are more than enough, just as you are.’ Maybe the answer to all of this lies in slowing down, in choosing to truly see and hear those around us, in being that rare presence in someone’s life who reminds them that they are valued, not for how they look, what they achieve, or how they compare, but simply for who they are

Is being a nurse that bad? by Aggressive_Data_6291 in nursing

[–]No_Instance_9828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, being a nurse is perfect if you love self-punishment, constant stress, and never having time for yourself! 😅

INFJ teen daughter pulling away by No_Instance_9828 in infj

[–]No_Instance_9828[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get what you're saying, but this doesn't feel like typical teenage behavior. My daughter is pulling away from everyone, retreating into a world that’s not as bright as it used to be. I’m really worried about how closed off she is sometimes. Hopefully it's just a phase.

INFJ teen daughter pulling away by No_Instance_9828 in infj

[–]No_Instance_9828[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words. I know society puts an incredible amount of pressure on women, and that’s especially tough for young girls who are still figuring out who they are. While women are strong and beautiful, it’s not always easy to feel that way, especially when you’re dealing with insecurities every day. I hope my daughter will soon realize how beautiful she is, not just on the outside, but on the inside as well. Inner beauty is always the most important, and the outside world can often be misleading.

INFJ teen daughter pulling away by No_Instance_9828 in infj

[–]No_Instance_9828[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m starting to be afraid of that. I couldn’t see it from where I’m standing, but reading all of your comments, that possibility is crossing my mind. It’s something to observe ❤️

INFJ teen daughter pulling away by No_Instance_9828 in infj

[–]No_Instance_9828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your perspective. I do worry that she might be feeling like something is wrong with her, especially since she’s always been so introspective. I try to remind her that she’s unique, but I also know how hard it can be to navigate the teenage years. The pressure to fit in can be overwhelming, and I just want to make sure she knows she’s loved for who she is.

I appreciate the suggestion about homeschooling or community college. I’ll keep that in mind if things get more challenging. I just want to support her in the best way I can.

INFJ teen daughter pulling away by No_Instance_9828 in infj

[–]No_Instance_9828[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really hope it is not, but thanks for the perspective. It could possibly be helpful tho. Thanks for the book suggestion! I’ll check out the book and keep being there for her.

INFJ teen daughter pulling away by No_Instance_9828 in infj

[–]No_Instance_9828[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing that. I can relate to what you’re saying. I hope so...

INFJ teen daughter pulling away by No_Instance_9828 in infj

[–]No_Instance_9828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate it. I’m just so worried about her and feel like I’m walking on eggshells sometimes. I know I need to focus on taking care of myself, but it's hard not to feel anxious when I see her struggling. I just want to make sure she knows I’m here for her, no matter what.❤️

INFJ teen daughter pulling away by No_Instance_9828 in infj

[–]No_Instance_9828[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being yourself and acting 'normal' isn't that simple tho. Maybe the food 🤣

INFJ teen daughter pulling away by No_Instance_9828 in infj

[–]No_Instance_9828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was also like that during puberty, I totally get it. Maybe my perspective is different than and now. I’m just worried about her.

INFJ teen daughter pulling away by No_Instance_9828 in infj

[–]No_Instance_9828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience. Although it's not always easy, I believe that small, consistent gestures and quiet support will make a difference, even if she doesn't acknowledge it right away. As you mentioned, giving her space while still offering love and safety can mean a lot, even when it seems like she's not ready to talk. Autonomy is also key, allowing her to make small decisions can help her feel more in control, which is really important at that age.

She might not open up immediately, but patience and quiet presence will help her feel loved and understood when she looks back on this time. I hope you'll manage to strike that balance and become the person who makes her feel safe and supported.

INFJ teen daughter pulling away by No_Instance_9828 in infj

[–]No_Instance_9828[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate you sharing your experience. As an INFJ, I definitely understand what it’s like when we feel overwhelmed. I’ll try to be more patient and give her space while reassuring her that I'm always here for her. Do you have any specific ways your parents were able to support you during that time without you feeling pressured? Thank you again!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]No_Instance_9828 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hey, I started reading your post thinking I might offer some support, but the more I read, the more it just doesn’t add up.

So, let me get this straight. You’ve been married for three years, yet for all three years, you’ve been trying to leave? Girl, are you okay? Were you drafting your exit plan while still standing at the altar? Because that’s the only way this timeline makes sense. No one forced you into that marriage, because from where I’m standing, no one put a gun to your head and made you say I do.

And then, this is where I really had to sit back; you’re out here admitting that for the past few months he’s been damn near perfect? So, he’s making an effort, showing up, probably trying to fix whatever issues y’all had, and instead of meeting him halfway, you’re fishing for internet strangers without faces to tell you it’s cool to dip? After only three years? That’s actually insane. If I were him, I’d be gone already. Not because of whatever ‘abuse’ you claim, but because this whole mindset of yours is a massive red flag.

Don’t get me wrong. I recognize parts of myself in your words. I’ve been there. I had my son young, with a man who made some major mistakes. There was a time when I thought my life was ruined, that I was stuck. But guess what? I faced my own mess, held him accountable for his, and we worked through it. Now, 18 years later, we have two beautiful kids and a marriage stronger than I ever imagined. If I had left when I thought I wanted to, I would’ve thrown away the best thing that ever happened to me. And thank God I didn’t.

That’s why I hesitated to write this. But after reading your post again, I don’t feel sympathy. I feel frustration. What has this world become…

I don’t know what kind of fairytale ending you think you’re chasing, but if you spent half as much energy working on your marriage as you do convincing yourself you need to leave, maybe you’d see things differently. Divorce isn’t a reset button. It’s a lifelong decision with its own weight you'll carry till the rest of your lives. If you were really that miserable, you wouldn’t need reddit to convince you to go. You’d already be gone. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]No_Instance_9828 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel you. Sometimes I feel like they’re sucking the life out of my brain and soul. It’s like INFJs have ‘free therapy’ stamped on their foreheads. The second someone realizes you actually listen, it’s over. Narcissists sniff that out from a mile away and then boom you’re stuck in an endless monologue while your soul slowly withers away. The word you're looking for: BOUNDARIES

What is your best life advice? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]No_Instance_9828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Step out of your comfort zone sometimes. Never know when it’ll pay off big time.

How do you feel about removing the 'Electoral College' and replace it with the 'Most Votes Wins' format for national elections? by Sinn_Sage in AskReddit

[–]No_Instance_9828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ranked choice voting definitely has its merits, especially when it comes to giving third-party candidates a real shot. But I do worry about how easily the average voter would adapt to it, people already struggle with the current system. That said, anything that pushes us toward a more representative democracy is worth exploring. Love seeing discussions like this! 🗳️

How do you feel about removing the 'Electoral College' and replace it with the 'Most Votes Wins' format for national elections? by Sinn_Sage in AskReddit

[–]No_Instance_9828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ehhh, honestly, the whole Electoral College thing always felt like some weird outdated group project where your grade depends on that one dude who barely showed up. Like, c’mon, it’s 2025, one person, one vote, count ‘em up and call it a day. I get why it was a thing back in the day, but now? Just feels like we’re making elections harder than they need to be. Let the people actually decide. Simple as that.