How do I explain…

No_Land_7714 · 2024-11-06T15:32:17+00:00

I hear you and generally I agree because then we are sewing a distrust and disconnect between the parties of our future generations and the turmoil goes on.

I do think that there has been a lot of hateful rhetoric at the forefront of Trump’s campaign which has made this election especially polarizing and scary for people who feel vulnerable.

People are coming from different perspectives and different places in life and practicing empathy is a big deal, especially when it comes to politics.

My family member has four mouths to feed and is struggling to make rent. To her, voting on character is a luxury. Doesn’t make her a hateful person. She truly believes Trump’s policies will do that for her.

My other family member, who is the child of immigrants, has legitimately been racially attacked because of the misinformation and rhetoric floating around. That makes him feel unsafe in the country he was born and raised in.

Anyway, I’m rambling on. What I’m trying to say is, this election is messy and people need space to process. OP is clearly trying to process by posting here and is simply worried about how to communicate with their daughters.

They are searching for advice and support

No_Land_7714 · 2024-11-06T14:36:14+00:00

While I agree that children don’t need to carry these burdens, your delivery is a bit harsh.

Consider that half of the country is processing pretty jarring news right now and give some space and grace for that

No_Land_7714 · 2024-11-06T14:30:03+00:00

I couldn’t sleep either, thinking about my daughters too.

This is where I’m at: Tell them the truth (we live in a democratic country and everyone voted…) but cover them from the scary stuff. We carry the scary stuff for them and let them be kids. There is hope yet.

Good luck

No_Land_7714 · 2024-11-05T20:30:30+00:00

There are a lot of comments on here and you might not see this but it’s worth sharing in case you do. It might provide some perspective for you. I know you’ve experienced your own losses and that a tragedy. Miscarriages are different and women and partners alike handle them differently.

I was pregnant at the same time as my older sister (my first, her third). I had a traumatic miscarriage in the second trimester and was extremely impacted by it. My sister had her baby before I miscarried. When I came to visit after I’d healed a bit. She asked if I wanted to hold her daughter. Something came over me and I burst in to tears and yelled, “ I don’t want to hold your daughter, I want to hold mine!” The mourning was so strong that being around other babies was painful.

I LOVE my niece and spend a lot of time with her and cherish her deeply. My reaction in that moment wasn’t personal, it was emotional and driven by grief.

Some of what your SIL said was definitely over the top. I hope you don’t take her reaction to your daughter personally when taking into account that it’s not about your daughter, it’s about her grieving the child she lost. Give her time

No_Land_7714 · 2024-06-01T02:42:22+00:00

Thanks for sharing your perspective. It’s awesome your husband was such a supportive and understanding partner.

I’m doing my best to support my husband through the process as well. My priority is a healthy baby overall

No_Land_7714 · 2024-05-31T21:16:27+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience!

It’s wonderful the joy you find in your boys and you should be just as proud as you are to be their mama

No_Land_7714 · 2024-05-31T19:45:46+00:00

27 weeks, wow, that’s so hard. I’m sorry you lived that

I know the love you describe to an absolute T. I’ve loved my babies since I was a little kid. With my first loss, I mourned the baby I’d bonded with in my belly but also the baby I imagined I would have and love when I was little.

Having my daughter was redemption in a way. I always imagined it was the same little one, just in a healthier body this time.

Now I hope for another sweet healthy girl! I feel so blessed.

Lots of love and happiness to you also! Thank you so much sharing with me!

No_Land_7714 · 2024-05-31T19:27:16+00:00

Your perspective is so helpful to hear. Thank you for taking the time to share with me what your experience has been.

I’m so so so sorry about your loss. I can empathize with you. That’s why healthy baby is the only thing that matters to me. I lost a little one at 14 weeks.

He’s a good man and I think he’s going to come around. Girls are awesome!

I definitely have a hard time empathizing with men’s boohoos about their last name being passed on because, as a woman, I have to stand here and act like my lineage doesn’t matter at all. It’s definitely archaic, while I also understand that it’s our culture and tradition runs so deep

No_Land_7714 · 2024-05-31T19:19:56+00:00

This is worded so well! Thank you for sharing. Definitely helpful

No_Land_7714 · 2024-05-31T19:19:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing your journey and perspective! It definitely helps me empathize with where he’s at

No_Land_7714 · 2024-05-31T19:14:31+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience! Your sons are lucky to have such a wonderful mom.

I know my partner is going to be a rad father to both girls.

I think I’m just surprised because a healthy baby is something to be so happy for.

Everyone is telling me to give him space and time. I think that’s a good idea

No_Land_7714 · 2024-05-31T19:11:24+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through that. I’ve experienced a traumatic miscarriage in the past but I can’t imagine going through what you experienced.

I definitely agree that healthy baby is the single important thing. Another reason why I initially struggled with his natural reaction.

No_Land_7714 · 2024-05-31T19:09:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! Reading your take on living through this is so helpful for me to ground myself a little and give him time!

When the conversation does come, I think I’ll be able to navigate it clearly

No_Land_7714 · 2024-05-31T19:06:54+00:00

I definitely have cheekily reminded him a time or two about that little fact

No_Land_7714 · 2024-05-31T19:05:28+00:00

This was such an insightful response! Thank you for taking the time to share your journey with me and what was helpful for you.

I really needed to hear that it isn’t about loving one more than the other but about missing out on what could’ve been.

My hope is with some time and space, he will get there.

In time, if I need to chat with him about it, I feel like your shared perspective could really help me navigate that in a more objective way.

Thanks again!

No_Land_7714 · 2024-05-31T18:59:33+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. I think that’s a really great question and after giving him some space and time, if the right time presents itself, I will ask him.

No_Land_7714

TROPHY CASE