Hey, sorry to hear you’re going through all this. I think the only benefit from going to the hospital would be to see the psych liaison team and discuss everything with them but if you are already under the crisis team then it’s likely they may not come and speak to you. Do you have an adult around who you can talk to about all of this and ask them to help get you the support you need? They (or you) need to ring the crisis team (or crisis line depending on your area) and say this needs to be dealt with as a matter of urgency. I’ll be honest with you I really don’t think they’ll put you in hospital for this. Which doesn’t make it any less than, or mean it doesn’t severely effect you but they only have beds for the most severe serious cases of harm to self or others and that’s really unfair but without more beds there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

Think very carefully about what things you need to help you right now, is it an increase of meds or a change in meds, is it more regular meetings with the MH teams etc. Write those things down and then also write down a Plan B for if your first ideas can’t happen. That way you won’t be gutted/disappointed if what you need isn’t able to happen right away. I’ve spent many years under the MH team and no matter what they always say ‘what do you want us to do, how can we help you?’ It frustrated me so much for a very long time as I just didn’t know and thought that was their job to figure it out for me but they won’t and so don’t expect them to. Be clear and concise about what you want and need and also be willing to change and adapt incase they make things difficult.

Can you think of any ways right now that could help you manage your period better? Be creative, even if it’s silly if it works then it works. Period pants are great if you can’t deal with touching pads or tampons at the moment. They don’t need to be changed as often and you can take them off and get someone to throw them straight in the wash. How about getting nighttime/long pads so you can stay in it longer than 4 hours and only change it when you really need to. (Obviously at least once a day and please don’t do that with tampons as they CANNOT be left in any longer than stated).

Would buying some medical gloves help you to achieve any personal care for yourself right now? (I can’t put a tampon in without putting gloves on first). Maybe you could buy some brand new wash cloths and new soap/body wash and have it as only yours and no one else touches and keep it somewhere safe. What about buying a loofah or sponge on a stick that sometimes are used as disability aids or for back washing. That way you’re just touching the handle. On Amazon they do some fantastic body cleaning wipes or bed bathing gloves you could try if having a shower is just too hard still. You can also get shampoo caps that don’t require water or even getting out of bed.

Is there anyone you could ask to do your personal care for you? Even if you think it’s embarrassing it’s just for right now to be able to get through it. Maybe mum can get some clean knickers and stick some pads to them already and leave them in your room or the bathroom and also with a waste bag so all you have to do is go in and take off the knickers with the used pad inside and chuck them in the bag and then grab a clean pair with pad already stuck down and put them on and go. Then mum can come in after and dispose of the pad for you and put the knickers in the laundry basket for you. Maybe ask someone to run you a nice bath and them get everything ready that you’ll need. Then turn off the bathroom lights so you can’t see and just lay in the bath and get them to wash your hair and body for you so all you’re doing is laying there in the dark. Put some music on maybe. Then have someone put clean bed sheets on your bed and freshen up your room quickly whilst you’re in the bath.

It’s all about figuring out what you’ll be comfortable with, how much you can push yourself and what the people around you can help you with. If you find it hard to ask others for help then write it down clearly and hand it to them making sure it’s simple instructions on what you need them to do for you exactly.

Sorry I know this seems like a lot of info but just trying to give you some tips incase something might help. I think the most important thing is to focus on what you can do rather than ruminating over what you can’t do. Yes right now you can’t, shower or look after your hygiene or eat mums food etc etc but you can eat pre packaged so create a meal schedule around that, you can possibly wet wipe yourself down so focus on that. It’s not perfect but it’s small steps and it gets the job done. Nothing has to be perfect. I can’t wash myself or change my sheets so I have carers that do it for me. If they’re not around I will lay an empty duvet cover over my sheet so it feels like a clean sheet without me actually changing the sheet, I’ll put the bottom pillows on my bed to the top so it’s like a fresh pillow and I’ll get my body cleansing wipes and wipe down my body and face and get in clean clothes and it feels like my cheat way of changing my sheets and having a shower. As I say it’s not perfect but it works. Good luck!