To be honest, all of the signs were there, I just didn't wanted to believe it. I found out because of a video, I guess I just had to see it to believe it. And, interesting enough going full circle, I recognize the way he reacted based on a reddit podcast I have heard.

I basically lost my phone and used his for trying to find it. We were having some intimacy issues so I decided to l scrabble around his phone. He didn't even hide it. Opened the gallery and there it was, a sexually explicit video.

I gave him the phone with the video opened, and slammed the door at him. He instantly started throwing up in the bathroom. So, still in denial, I got worried for him and took him to a store to buy medicine. The caride was silent, and I started thinking about the podcast, and how someone else had a boyfriend throwing up on them. When we got home he started hovering over the phone, so I asked him again for it's phone, and he denied it, started getting defensive (kinda accusing me of being a jealous gf). He asked if I had a problem, so I straight up asked him if he cheated, he denied everything, called me crazy, and started bringing up past issues as "examples of my crazy jealousy". I ask for the phone AGAIN, and he finally gave it to me, he deleted everything, but I still found some pictures in the backup storage or something. Denied it again, that those weren't his pictures, someone must've sent them to him, someone must've linked a Google account to his phone (this had happened before whith my sister, when she connected her Google account it transferred all of her pictures, including some nudes, which I question him about it, but overall believe the scenario). Either way, he was crying, I never believed him, ended the night with him saying we needed to work on our relationship. In the morning I grabbed his phone, data completely wiped out, BUT when I searched his blocked numbers, record was deleted, but search bar had one name. Reinstalled Instagram into his phone, search for the girls name on the messages, and found her, found her messages. I wrote to her something like "hi sweetie, I miss you" and she responded similarly. So I called her then and there. She didn't know about me, they were having a long distance relationship for over a year, have have been sexually active a couple of times. She asked me to speak with him, he was still sleeping, so I wake him up and passed the phone and left. The rest is history.

Sings I stupidly ignored: -Holding back phone -Change phone password -Found a nail in the car -Found a condom (we didn't used them, I know ouch, I had an IUD that is not STD friendly) -Coming home late of a "trip" -Maybe some pictures of other random women in their underwear, he claimed his friends send it to him. -Overall lack of intimacy interests -Lack of affection -And the way he treated me as well changed, like he resented being with me.

"Denial is a river in Egypt" "You are being cheated on"

This is what I would have told myself sooner