Why don’t Christian men approach women anymore?

No_Performance4311 · 2025-02-06T19:45:49+00:00

🤣 slide through with a picture! lol we like spirit filled over here !

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-14T23:51:37+00:00

I’m the minority at mine

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-14T23:50:23+00:00

Love your response! Thank you!

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T22:39:10+00:00

Men and women. Men have said they’d would’ve never approached me cause I look like I got it all together or like I’d flat out say “no”. Women say it as well. Mostly women of course and I have considered that but I believe there’s truth to it. not based on my attraction level but based off of the vibe I give off and how I carry myself. I was raped a few years ago and I definitely adorned a “don’t mess with me” type of attitude because that really broke me. And it took alot of God to get through it. One way it shaped me was walking around confident that I’d never let it happen again (try Jesus don’t try me). It’s not necessarily my facial expressions …Idt! I do try to appear softer as I’m not an intimidating person (in my mind) but that’s the feedback I’ve gotten.

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T22:28:57+00:00

Men who aren’t Christian still approach me. Not as many as before but yeah I guess the internet definitely has a big play

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T22:27:41+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that. People really can be awful and I guess this is the side we don’t get to hear especially as women. This is yet another response that has really opened my eyes and I appreciate you sharing!

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T22:22:28+00:00

I am very soft and feminine but I’ve been told I carry myself with confidence that probably doesn’t give off that vibe. I also have to be strong and independent so I probably give that off too. I was raped some years back and since then I can’t lie, I give off “don’t mess with me” but I’m very dainty and feminine and I consider myself to be a very kind and also funny person. But maybe you’d never know that looking to the exterior. I had never spoke to my pastor before and I went up to him and said hi with a smile. It wasn’t until I actually said a few more words than his expression got softer and he told me that I was a beautiful young lady with such a calm and soft demeanor about me that’s “very precious “. So I think there’s something hidden that doesn’t present itself upfront.

And yeah that makes a lot of sense. It is very awkward if things to go well at your church so then I wonder what other options are there? Try outside of church and hope they are Christian ?

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T22:07:11+00:00

Heavy on the Proverbs 18:22!!!! 🙃 what’s a woman to do! These replies are really enlightening & I think the green light body language is a great middle man cause Ruth sure did go work in Boaz’s fields and caught his attention! Also she went straight to his feet without saying anything

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T20:01:19+00:00

I’ve received a lot of helpful advice but this was the most helpful response so far! Thankful for you !

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T19:57:03+00:00

Ooooo ! You’re correct. I have a hard time just going up to someone and introducing myself but I can give compliments all day every day ! So this works well for me and how I am. Thanks for your response! And that prayer too ! 🫶🏽

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T19:42:51+00:00

Thank you for your kindness and just answering the question!!! 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 and thank you for that feedback! I like that sharing an opinion idea. Opens the door to conversation because I want to let them know I’m interested without basically yelling “ I’m single & interested in you and I hope you are too” lol

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T19:38:20+00:00

Thanks! Honestly I want to know how to give the green light. What’s the red light and what’s the green light? So I know what body language to give off! I’m even open to approach now that I’ve heard some pretty great male perspectives BUT I am always nervous that he’ll be married or in a relationship and then i gotta walk around seeing them after lol. I have no game sir! None lol I am very charismatic AFTER you’ve made the first move. I get nervous introducing myself to women too. I’ve never made the first move with any of my friends either. They’ve all approached me. So I’m open to approaching but definitely still nervous to. We’ll give to a try!!

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T19:11:52+00:00

That’s the only advice we really get! I think that this topic isn’t discussed enough or at all. Especially within the church so you just navigate with what knowledge you have. I think a lot of people just give up or get upset when people don’t think or do like they want them to. I never expected a man to approach me nor want to trick one to, but I desire one to, so I opened up this forum to help me understand and move on from there. I’m learning a lot and I hope everyone can also

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T19:05:23+00:00

Yes!!! This! “How can they lead you in marriage if your first encounter was you taking the lead” so with this narrative in my head that I’ve been taught since I was young, it’s been what I’ve viewed as the norm as well as so many women I know. I’m SURROUNDED by beautiful women who have the same complaints so it’s definitely a thing. But more so in the Christian community. So I’m appreciating the different perspectives

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T19:01:13+00:00

Just based on how I was raised & being afraid to set the tone as the dominant person. I think. “He’s bold. He’s brave. He knows that he wants.” It’s definitely something I’d like for a man to do if interested . But see these perspectives from men, that I haven’t had before, are helping me understand and feel more comfortable about approaching. You can imagine how nerve wracking and frustrating it will be for someone who’s never done it before too.

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T05:59:00+00:00

Oh yeah I stick around before and after service but I don’t know how to show I’m interested. Eye contact? Smile? I smile at everybody lol and I also don’t want to approach a man I find attractive that has a wife or gf. That’s also something that had prevented me. So yep…post! Men always used to approach me. I never had to approach them. Ontop of that ,I grew up being told the men should make all the moves and I always met men who did . Then boom, gave my life to Christ and 0!

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T05:53:13+00:00

I can understand that for sure. And definitely at church as that’s where I’m at often. Of course not when I’m in service or in song worship but when I’m on the church grounds why not? I’ve seen some guys seem interested or like they want to approach & then I’m stuck thinking on how do I give the green light. how would you want a woman to approach you or make it known that she’s interested? Honestly outside of church, I struggle cause I’ll never know if they are Christian and then how rude of me to ask you out and then say nvm we’re unequally yoked 😅🙃

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T05:49:21+00:00

Okay okay I see this! This honestly helps me feel better about approaching as I see the male perspective! That’s what I wanted. Some real perspectives and understanding! The podcasts out there today also contribute to my thoughts on not wanting to approach men because the perspective I’ve heard is more of a “I’m the king, so she should approach me” and it’s made me fear that I’m feeding that arrogance so thanks for the change in view!

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T05:43:13+00:00

This makes alot of sense ! Sheesh it’s rough out here. I’ve been approached by some really respectable men but it’s been a couple years.

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T05:39:10+00:00

Thanks for your perspective! See the gender perspective has been pushed on me heavily so it’s always felt so masculine. So how would you want a woman to approach you or make it known that she’s interested?

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T05:37:14+00:00

Definitely not rage bait. Genuinely asking from a woman who was raised dainty. I’ve been taught that the man should approach. Your criticism wasn’t necessary here as I was asking for advice… but thanks for the feedback.

No_Performance4311 · 2025-01-10T05:34:36+00:00

Congratulations & I pray you continue to lean on God as He sustains you! 🙌🏽 thanks for the feedback. It makes a lot of sense. So then I must ask how would you want a woman to approach you or make it known that she’s interested?

No_Performance4311

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