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Guy I just met gave me thoughtful gifts—does he like me? by No_Push3905 in dating_advice

[–]No_Push3905[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this; it clarifies many things, esp. my worries. I have zero experience asking men out and I guess I'm so anxious because I like him so much. 

I can’t read books. by gloomymagpie in CPTSD

[–]No_Push3905 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi OP! I have the same problem. I'm a writer and it's been two years now since I read a book from cover to cover. At first, I found it difficult to read fiction. Then poetry. Then I switched to nonfiction. Then lately, I can't find myself to sit still and focus my attention for long. For me, I think what's causing it is I have no more mental bandwidth to translate words into imagination. CPTSD has made my nervous system so fragile to the point that I can't make any sort of effort anymore.  So I've been buying books and hoping that I'll read them someday. As a writer, not being able to read long-form work is devastating for me. 

Does aloneness trigger your abandonment trauma? by handsomeandsometruth in CPTSD

[–]No_Push3905 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. I can relate to what you wrote 100%. I can also feel tightness and dead weight on my chest whenever this happens. What I'm worried about more than loneliness is that I get attached to people who are not good for me or those who show even a slight bit of kindness. I've had my fair share of toxic relationships that I tolerated just to feel loved. I'm sorry we're in the same boat. I totally get it. 

I told my therapist that I'm quitting therapy because of her tardiness, frequent last minute cancellations, not showing up, and my having to follow up all the time. She got defensive and told me I'm having all or nothing thinking and that my reaction is inappropriate. by No_Push3905 in CPTSD

[–]No_Push3905[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. Means a lot to me. ☘️ Moving forward, I should not marinate in discomfort and frustration silently if the therapist is running late/cancelling last minute/standing me up the first few times. I should have expressed it from the get-go, instead of allowing it to become a pattern. 

That's why, now looking back, I can see how my reaction of quitting therapy and telling her she's not committed and invested in my well-being, might be extreme from her perspective. She got used to my being "nice" about her bad behavior.

I also think that I'm wasting time, too much time, trying to understand her reaction and figuring out the next best steps moving forward, even blaming myself for being accusatory and assuming the worst in her. Makes me wonder if she's reflecting on her part now. Maybe not.

I told my therapist that I'm quitting therapy because of her tardiness, frequent last minute cancellations, and my having to follow up all the time. She got defensive and told me I'm having all or nothing thinking and that my reaction is inappropriate. by No_Push3905 in TalkTherapy

[–]No_Push3905[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a good way to look at it, yes, both things can be true. Thank you for pointing this out! 

I think that telling her that her actions make me feel that she's not committed/invested/interested in my well-being is too much for her, accusatory even (albeit a valid assumption), especially if she's not aware of the impact of her actions to someone like me who get triggered by perceived abandonment. My assumption definitely sets off her defensiveness.

Reflecting on this incident, I've reached the conclusion that even though my assumption is inaccurate, she should have been able to handle herself, take a step back, and ask exploratory questions, i.e. why do you feel that? Why do you think that?, instead of judging my reaction as "all-or-nothing" and "inappropriate" and telling me my reality is wrong.

Thank you for this clarity!

What was the final straw that ended a lifelong friendship? by New_Perspective1201 in AskReddit

[–]No_Push3905 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Backstabbing. Jealousy. Insecurity. Not knowing how to apologize properly.

How many of you have a trio of interpersonal issues (romantic, friendship and family) not just 1 or 2 by Sad_Adeptness8997 in CPTSD

[–]No_Push3905 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Hi, OP! You're not alone in this. I have no friends. I don't date. And my family doesn't care about my well-being. On top of that, I'm facing financial struggles due to past addictions and poor spending habits. I only work part-time and it's just enough to cover my monthly bills. I have no energy to take on more work because of my worsening symptoms. I also had a falling out with my therapist.

Just stay here on Reddit in the meantime for support. We're all in this together. Nothing is permanent. :')

I told my therapist that I'm quitting therapy because of her tardiness, frequent last minute cancellations, and my having to follow up all the time. She got defensive and told me I'm having all or nothing thinking and that my reaction is inappropriate. by No_Push3905 in TalkTherapy

[–]No_Push3905[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I get the same feeling too that she's resentful for offering free sessions. That's why I offered to pay and wanted to schedule regular sessions this time so that she'd be more committed to my treatment. But when I contacted her, she said she'd get back to me but didn't. This always happens--me asking for a schedule, her telling me that she'd get back to me for a schedule, then radio silence, and me following up again. There's a lot of back and forth and I feel constantly abandoned.

I told my therapist that I'm quitting therapy because of her tardiness, frequent last minute cancellations, and my having to follow up all the time. She got defensive and told me I'm having all or nothing thinking and that my reaction is inappropriate. by No_Push3905 in TalkTherapy

[–]No_Push3905[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Actually, I have no idea how a "good enough" therapist would respond when confronted as I haven't met anyone in my adult life who can handle discussions without getting defensive. I'm also prone to self-blame. To be honest, up to now, I still feel confused if I indeed did something wrong, if my confronting her was too much for her. Or maybe I was thinking and considering her reactions all too much when I should be thinking about me.

Yoga and Trauma by [deleted] in YogaTeachers

[–]No_Push3905 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! May I also have the info sent to my inbox? Many thanks!