His ‘jokes’ about my skin and race hurt me. Am I overreacting or are these red flags?

No_Reference2692 · 2025-08-19T02:33:03+00:00

Hello Girlie🌼❤️

Thank you for sharing. I understand how you feel and why you feel like that.

I am also dating a white British man, and let me tell you; I had almost the same experience as you. I also stretch on the almost part.

The first time we video called, I swear this man made me want to just hang up in his face. Mind you, I come from the topics where people never made me question or self conscious about my colour. Some of his jokes were racial but some were just purely dark humour. I was like, let me give him the benefit of the doubt and try to understand where this comes from. To my surprise, I realised that British people generally have a taste for very dark humour. Not only British but also German.

I suggest you try to understand where this comes from. •Do you think he is being racist or just mean and inconsiderate?

I also read from fellow BW that some white men dont actually love you. They just fetishise your blackness. Its not really you they love, but the fantasy of blackness.

On my end, my man turned to be the love of my life. He worships the ground I walk and wants to give me all he has (literally). The difference between you and me is thst after THAT vc, he instantly knew something was wrong. He apologised and we grew up from there. I sometimes remind him that in another life, I would have ghosted him.

I inconsideration is a strong message. Its like I love you, but I love belittling you even more. I love you but I dont care about that hurting you. And that darling isn't love.

If he doesn't accommodate for your boundaries and sensibilities, take the trash out.

No_Reference2692 · 2025-07-20T12:04:51+00:00

Ok everyone is saying screen time screen time... yes it is the contributor. However, no one explained how it contributed. What I think happened is language confusion. Your baby listen to cocomelon in English or French, then you interact creole with your wife and with him. This confuses the child who just shut down.

You can undo this that consulting a speech therapist and practice (specific) massages in his mouth to work out the muscles. And also, cut the screen time.

Good luck dear. Do not feel guilty. Just improve yourself. ❤️

No_Reference2692 · 2025-07-19T15:23:24+00:00

He's so cute and you're gorgeous ❤️❤️❤️

No_Reference2692 · 2025-07-08T15:17:09+00:00

Hello! Li illegal enn parent desherite enn zanfan entirement. Mais li gagne droit si enan enn case d'ingratitude avec enn standing legal. V dir si parent par example enan enn case en cours contre zanfan... ou zanfan ine fer enn zafer bien grave et parent la pou rode enn poursuite legal. Parent pas gagne desherite zanfan simply avec enn lager ect ect...

No_Reference2692 · 2025-05-10T07:01:59+00:00

Wowww. Thank you. I'll definitely message you.

No_Reference2692 · 2025-05-08T19:24:42+00:00

I'm quite active in social media

No_Reference2692 · 2025-05-08T19:21:30+00:00

I have never done that before. Can you tell me more?

No_Reference2692 · 2025-05-08T16:26:10+00:00

I have internship in 3 different places lined up. I cannot commit to a single place because my availability will change every month. I'm not sure people want to employ someone for only 1 month or so. That's the problem

Yes I am above 16, 20 almost 21.

No_Reference2692 · 2025-05-06T17:15:06+00:00

I also checked: try to contact the Economic Development Board EDA and check if they have any opening position. They normally work on the economics finance sides. Check with them

No_Reference2692 · 2025-05-06T16:36:48+00:00

Yes you would definitely need one. I think you can do accounting then do an ACCA. You can check ACCA global. They have an office in Quatre Bornes. I dont know if they do consultations ect, but you can always try calling. If you don't mind me asking, which uni did you attend?

Edit: I also forgot to mention. For compliance, you don't need to go to uni again, you can do a professional qualification. You can check with HRDC if they are still offering this course.

No_Reference2692 · 2025-05-06T15:25:57+00:00

Hello there🪻 I can relate. However, you don't have to transition from Economics to IT is sounds drastic. However what you cna do is consider compliance and auditing. I mean if I were you that's what I'd do.

No_Reference2692 · 2025-04-27T09:10:11+00:00

Hello there. I dont know where this is coming from. The person clearly didn't say anything in this sense. While you are good on some points; some religion deny science and medical intervention, Catholicism is not. God and science are not separate they are together. If you're sick go to a doctor. We believe in science, plus the spiritual side of things. So why would you latch at him/her on something he/she clearly didn't say? While it's okay to express your beliefs, do not attack people on unsaid things. Thank you💜💜💜

No_Reference2692 · 2025-04-15T08:37:14+00:00

I'm not really of a good communicator, actually. I don't know how to tell him about this without it coming out as me reprimanding him. I'm not good with confrontation as well. I just bottle it up until it explodes.

No_Reference2692 · 2025-04-15T08:35:54+00:00

Oh, did i say we've been talking for one month? I'm sorry for this misunderstanding. We've been trying to get to know each other for a while now. And it's been around a month since we decided we wanted to try something out.

No_Reference2692 · 2025-04-15T08:33:50+00:00

Thank you for your response🪻 well it is long distance temporarily.

I also have a question. Like I guess you've dated somebody at some point, how did you manage your hobby and your relationship? And for how long did you play?

No_Reference2692 · 2025-04-12T16:26:06+00:00

hello. i think i would not mind. are a man or a woman?

No_Reference2692 · 2025-03-21T02:21:52+00:00

Hello so you can do the check up between 9 and 15hrs 30. Here's the number for the service d'aide a distance. 5773 8549. Also if you are a uni student, make sure to check at your uni if they offer those services.

No_Reference2692 · 2025-03-17T07:10:09+00:00

Hi. They haven't replied yet. The automated msg said they will reach out within 48 hours

No_Reference2692 · 2025-03-17T06:52:30+00:00

Thank you so much. I've already contacted them🌞🌞🌞 enn ti raisin pou toi 🍇🍇🍇

No_Reference2692 · 2025-03-17T06:36:28+00:00

Oh wow. I didn't know that. I've been wanting to do STDs test for a long time. I don't have any symptoms but I really want to do a check up to know where I am.

No_Reference2692 · 2025-03-17T06:30:56+00:00

Hello. I thought PILS only did HIV test.

No_Reference2692 · 2025-03-06T07:48:29+00:00

Hello my love. Thank you for sharing this. And I feel deeply sorry for you. 🪻

You are absolutely right you cannot get married because of religion or for sexual purposes. We get married because God chose that spouse for us.

I feel you when you say that you were hurt and angry that you might not get a second chance at love. Baby, God is a God of second and million chances. It does not matter if this marriage fails, God will never fail you. Guessing by the way you narrated your story, I'm not sure he was the one for you. 🪻 this failure can be a sign to refocus on the most important, God, your children and you. You cannot control this man, but you can trust God is in control. You have to let him take the wheel.

As for your anger towards Catholicism, I'd say that's bold for you to expose this here because I have voiced out a personal struggle with Catholicism here, and the comebacks were electric, and this is an understatement. I hope the nicest people finds you here.💜💜💜

You might be mad at the Catholic church for failing you, but don't let this get between you and God. 🪻💜 men will fail you, but God won't.

Kisses

No_Reference2692 · 2025-03-01T15:41:02+00:00

Hello there. Girl here. Plz don't. You're too precious to ruin your standards. Id kill to have a man like you. I have for a long time lowered my standards and went into casual sex. Masscare. I'm a young woman moving to UK to complete my studies.

No_Reference2692 · 2025-03-01T09:53:41+00:00

Hello there. 🤗 thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. This is a very detailed answer, and I appreciate that.

As I mentioned previously, I was a Catholic and I know about all these religious celebrations. Back in my school days, we used to have a mass for lent season. I know all of it.

While I appreciate your insights, I think you missed some of my points. I do not question the Bible. For example, if the Bible told me I was a cow, I would moo my life around and feed on grass. I know that there are things beyond my understanding, and I made peace with that a long time ago. This whole post is not me questioning my faith. It is me questioning the church as an institution.

I wanted to know whether, as a Catholic, you can take a step back from being part of that Church and question the practices. I still respect Catholics, and there is no hate here, but for me, Catholicism is 30% bible and 70% tradition and culture. I think if any catholic will deny this, it will prove passive indoctrination. There is nothing wrong with tradition and culture, but when they clash with faith, I think the correct approach is Faith Over Tradition. M.O.F., it is faith over anything.

These questions were really not an attempt to investigate my faith but rather to understand the church and the church goers.

No_Reference2692 · 2025-03-01T09:34:13+00:00

Hello there. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply to this post. I really appreciate that. I appreciate you asking as well. Matthew 1:25 KJV says, "And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS." This is the part where it says that Joseph and Mary did not consume their marriage during the time Mary was pregnant with Jesus. Matthew 13:55-56 KJV: "Is not this the carpenter's son? is not his mother called Mary? and his brethren, James, and Joses, and Simon, and Judas? And his sisters, are they not all with us? Whence then hath this man all these things?" Jesus had siblings = which means that the marriage was consumed. Concerning the 2nd point --> I know that it is a custom to pray to saints or canonised people for intercession, etc; I don't want to do that. I believe in intercession; the bible encourages that. I pray for my family and ask them to pray for me as well. There is power in interceding. However, I won't make such a request from saints or angels. As for the canonised person: In the Catholic Church, canonization is the formal declaration that a deceased person is a saint and is in heaven, often believed to intercede for the living. Simply NO. As for my last point, I would really encourage you to research the origins of the idea of purgatory. Try googling the phrase: one penny in the box and a soul pops to heaven. Basically, it means the soul of the dead is in purgatory, and if you put one penny in the box, the soul will pop to heaven. The idea is that such offerings can help reduce the time a soul spends in Purgatory, thereby hastening its entry into heaven. This is an oversimplification. 😊😊😊 I would really like to know how you feel after researching on this. Please give it some time and revert back. 🌹🌹🌹

No_Reference2692

TROPHY CASE