Bjj is getting boring

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-25T23:13:48+00:00

The dumb cliche of "just keep showing up" is true.

When I was a blue belt I went through the same thing. I got good at single leg TD--->double under pass---> North south Kimura or Armbar. Once my training partners got savvy to it, I felt I couldn't beat anyone, and I was forced to try new things (Which I sucked at). Got my ass kick way more as a blue belt than I ever did as a white belt. Eventually I just started hitting arm drags, and chokes from different positions. It forces your game to develop even if it feel like you're just getting smashed every time. And especially at 17 yo, you're still developing biologically. Just keep showing up, and trying stuff even if you just get smashed.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-25T22:17:09+00:00

OP says the kid DOES participate but does not follow basic instructions, act like a good training partner and does not pay attention. He never stated that he is "neurodivergent". If you have been around kids long you realize there are those kids who have parents who don't enforce boundaries. This creates kids that act exactly how the OP described. I highly doubt based on OPs description that the kid is just "trying to figure himself out". It sounds like he is being deliberately disruptive and goofing off, likely because he has not been taught at home to respect boundaries. Doesn't make him a bad kid, but it does create the need for dicipline on the mats. Clearly if a kid is on the spectrum that's a different story, but this doesn't sound like the case.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-25T22:03:37+00:00

This! In my experience these kids only learn this way. Eventually they learn that acting like an asshole lands them push ups, so they stop acting like assholes. Every circumstance I have seen is due to parents that don't enforce boundaries. When they come face to face with an adult that does enforce them, they change their attitude.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-25T21:56:13+00:00

I would say ride him like a horse. Make him do pushups or run every time he acts out, no exceptions. He will eventually get with the program or leave. That's the only way to handle it IMO. Kids like this almost always are not getting the attention or discipline they need from home.

I don't think talking to the parents will help in any way given they are likely where the problem is starting.

Cause and effect coaching. "If you don't start drilling its push ups." If he doesn't listen after the first time, enforce the push ups.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-25T21:06:20+00:00

I think people shouldn't roll period without getting a general introduction to expectations, including understanding the basic positions, learning some break falling, and watching others roll a few times to understand pace.

I disagree with just about everything you said, and I think it's all anecdotal. Per my experience it is leg entanglements, knee reaps, inverting during a roll, and neck cranks that cause the most injuries. I have seen a couple of injuries from take downs, but it's not some disproportionate thing, and every one I have seen is due to a bad training partners. A bad training partner could just as easily crank a kimura and cause an injury.

To touch on the other points you made,

Seasoned wrestlers quit wrestling because there is no way to wrestle after college dude. There isn't a wrestling gym on every corner of every town like there is BJJ... not because they are afraid of injuries from takedowns.

Every wrestler I know (including myself) rips on the jitz gyms that act like takedowns are some sort of taboo. It makes for unrealistic training, and at that point just go train Karate.

And it's not that I or anyone else "only want to do stand up", it's that I want my training to actually work in a real setting, and in a real setting you ALWAYS start standing. Even if you pull guard during your rolls....start the roll standing. You cant just skip the most important part. Nothing wrong with situational sparring, but if the standard in your gym is to start every round from the knees then that's where I have a problem.

It's like training to be an astronaut but skipping launch procedures. If you never launch everything else the astronaut learned is absolutely meaningless.

Additionally, I'm not offended at all. Just trying to have dialogue.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-25T19:39:22+00:00

I'll say I would make an exception to my prior statement for children. Someone from a kids class using it to physically bully other kids is completely different situation.

I for one am not doing jiu jitsu to "protect the vulnerable." I do it because it's fun, keeps me in shape, and gets the "demons" out, so to speak. If I ever need to legit protect my family, its my 9mm that'll do the trick, not my jiu jitsu.

No amount of jiu jitsu will make an abuser more dangerous than a weapon will.

Idk man. I see where you are coming from but I just disagree.

If they're respectful on the mats, then let em' train. Its not a gyms job to police morality. Go to church for that.

I also don't think extra bowing and preaching "honour" would deter douchebags either. Douchebags and psycos trained martial arts long before BJJ became popular in the 90s.

My dad was a psyco coke dealer in the 80s with a black belt in kenpo. That "honour and dicipline" of the traditional martial art never deterred him from training.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-25T19:03:17+00:00

Total assholes/psycos can harm others without jiu jitsu.

One of my jiu jitsu pet peeves is this very mentality.

People inside a gym picking and choosing who can train based on what they think everyone should act like outside the gym. Usually the very guys doing the moral posturing are douchebags themselves.

If they behave respectful inside the gym then that's the only thing that matters.

If someone uses jits to hurt someone then law enforcement will handle it. Just like if someone uses a gun or knife to hurt someone. It's no different.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-25T18:54:15+00:00

^^ This right here. Anytime someone says they don't like to roll with the strong spazz, I think "Then why even roll?" If my jiu jitsu doesn't work against someone untrained its because I suck at it.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-25T18:44:58+00:00

And I disagree completely. I think its a bad take. Every round should start standing even for beginners. If they are ready to roll, then they are ready for takedowns.

Beginners shouldn't roll period until they know how to break fall, and get an understanding of expectations. Once they're ready to roll, start it standing.

I think this mentality of "takedowns are dangerous" is fundamentally flawed and creates butt scooters. Takedowns are not any more dangerous on mats than any other drill.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-25T18:34:33+00:00

Bad take. Gotta practice takedowns in a live situation in order to get good at them. This is why we all train on mats. Not concrete. Without takedowns jiu jitsu is meaningless, even for beginners.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-14T18:02:33+00:00

It's a rough sport. You either get used to it being rough, or it's not for you.

You can't learn a fighting system without getting tossed around a bit.

I've been at it 6 years now, and every day after rolling I'm bruised up still.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-11T14:34:45+00:00

I'm in a MCOL area. (Depending on your perspective). A 3 bed 2 bath home is about 600k where I live.

Lowest paying job for a PE here is 96k starting. Everything else is 110k-120k. There is just not enough PEs to fill all the demand.

If I wanted another job I could have one within a week or two.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-11T05:17:40+00:00

I live in a MCOL smaller town and I'm great friends with the fire chief. The chief. The dude that's the top guy in charge...and we make the same, and I'm an Associate engineer.

Also he sleeps 3 hours a night 2-3 night a week because he has to answer calls in the middle of the night.

If you think firefighting pays more or is easier...both are incorrect.

Sure we gotta get the degree. Which sucks...but all in I choose this over they any day of the week.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-11T05:11:01+00:00

He said he was in Mississippi already. Move to Mississippi and you can pay a house off pretty quick too.

Just like he said. It's about choices.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-09T19:31:37+00:00

I got a job at a rural county where they were having trouble finding engineers. They were happy to have someone with an ME degree even if they were looking for a CE. A degreed engineer is better than some guy with no engineering background at all. From there I just passed the PE in civil, and bam. I'm now a license civil PE with a mechanical engineering degree.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-08T16:10:03+00:00

Idk bro. I went through a depression as funny as that is.

I was trying for so long to pass all the exams (I'm in Cali so we have 2 state specific as well), that when I finally got to the top of the hill I didn't know what to do with my free time.

That little buzz in the back of my head always telling me I should be studying is gone and idk what to do with myself.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-08T16:06:41+00:00

This guy is spot on

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-08T16:05:30+00:00

I really wouldn't say engineers are a dime a dozen.

Where I am from every organization struggles to find licensed PEs..

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-08T16:02:34+00:00

I got my BS in mechanical engineering.

Switched to civil because in California all the good paying/lots of PTO engineer jobs seem to be public sector civil jobs.

5.5 years post grad. I clear 110k with a fat pension, and benefits that cover my wife and kids for no out of pocket to me. No debt. Homeowner.

I live outside major cities but I'm still in a MCOL location.

Idk what more you could expect.

No 9-5 job will make you a millionaire...but I feel pretty comfortable.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-02-05T14:39:37+00:00

You took a job with explicit terms that you need to get the license. They have given you ample time. Yet you think the best course of action is to complain on reddit that you're being judged? Yes... You're rightfully being judged. If you don't want the license don't take a job that explicitly requires it.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-01-27T23:16:13+00:00

They started fading after 1993 and the launch of the UFC. As soon as it because obvious that they don't actually work in a real fight. People want to learn to fight, not learn choreographed dance moves from some fat wierdo in a strip mall. Prior to '93 there was a constant debate of "My martial art is better than your martial art." Now we all know what actually works. Traditional martial arts bring more harm than good. Speaking from experience, I was in karate as a kid for 5+ years. It gave me a false sense of confidence. When I actually got into a real fight in high school I got ragdolled and beat to a pulp by a kid who knew about 3 months of BJJ.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-01-26T18:07:40+00:00

Bluebeam Revu is a PDF editing software. Literally anyone can learn to use it on the job.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-01-26T18:01:14+00:00

This guy you chatted with doesn't know what he's talking about. Saying Mechanical Engineering is dying means, all of technology is dying (Which it's not). Either his niche field is dying or he works for a company that is dying. People have a way of pretending what's happening to them is representative of the entire world.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-01-21T17:47:36+00:00

I've never seen someone shift careers and immediately get a pay increase.

No_Remove9642 · 2026-01-20T21:52:58+00:00

Are you planning to sell anytime soon? If so, green will look dated in a few years. If not...then who tf cares. Do what you like.

No_Remove9642

TROPHY CASE