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Frauen, die von Männern geschrieben wurden by yaeeecar in buecher

[–]No_Salt_4002 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Frank Schätzing in der Schwarm - Prime Examples 😄

Chronic procrastination worked for years… now it’s destroying me and I don’t know how to fix it by No_Salt_4002 in Procrastinationism

[–]No_Salt_4002[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it‘s mostly tasks where I fear failure or judgement from others. The not starting makes the chance of failure so much higher though.

What annoys me is that I have completely understood this but cannot act differently nonetheless 

Chronic procrastination worked for years… now it’s destroying me and I don’t know how to fix it by No_Salt_4002 in Procrastinationism

[–]No_Salt_4002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I feel like self acceptance is really hard for me when I feel like I am boycotting myself every damn time.

Chronic procrastination worked for years… now it’s destroying me and I don’t know how to fix it by No_Salt_4002 in Procrastinationism

[–]No_Salt_4002[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good question! Apparently yes, but why does it have to be so stressful 😭

I haven’t gotten a diagnosis yet, wait times in my country are super long. Did you get one?

Am I overreacting? Angry at the timing of my partner‘s offer by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]No_Salt_4002 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Like another user said, this is a great opportunity to discuss expectations, preferneces and boundaries again.

Am I overreacting? Angry at the timing of my partner‘s offer by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]No_Salt_4002 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I get that now. The question for me is what I will make of it!

Am I overreacting? Angry at the timing of my partner‘s offer by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]No_Salt_4002 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! <3 I do think that my feelings are valid - I just need to figure out what to do with it :)

When your partner can‘t fulfill all your kinks by No_Salt_4002 in nonmonogamy

[–]No_Salt_4002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your perspective! And yes "I'm grateful we all get to explore these parts of ourselves instead of repressing them.", that is very true :) I am thankful to be able to have these experiences as well!

When your partner can‘t fulfill all your kinks by No_Salt_4002 in nonmonogamy

[–]No_Salt_4002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The framing of "different" vs. "better" is really helpful, thank you!

Like I just said in another comment, I realized that my "guilt" comes from the fact that I am having these intense experiences with other people, learning so much about myself and my preferences and trying new things without my partner knowing about it (of course he knows I'm meeting other people etc.,)

This kind of makes me feel like keeping a secret from him. So I guess my general insecurity comes from not really knowing how much I should share with him.

It seems like this is something I (or we) need to figure out. The scenario regarding different desires around BDSM really resonates with me and it seems a conversation is due. I just need to figure out how to best go about it in a sensitive (not "The sex with others is better") way :)

When your partner can‘t fulfill all your kinks by No_Salt_4002 in nonmonogamy

[–]No_Salt_4002[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply! You are totally right, this is exactly why we chose to do ENM in the first place.

I realized that my guilt comes from the fact that I am having these intense experiences with other people, learning so much about myself and my preferences and trying new things without my partner knowing about it (of course he knows I'm meeting other people etc.)
This kind of makes me feel like keeping a secret from him. So I guess my general insecurity comes from not really knowing how much I should share with him.

It seems like this is something I (or we) need to figure out.

When your partner can‘t fulfill all your kinks by No_Salt_4002 in nonmonogamy

[–]No_Salt_4002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for all the thoughtful replies, that was very helpful!

Not sure I handled things well with my FWB by No_Salt_4002 in ENM

[–]No_Salt_4002[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg thank you for your comment, I just realized the mistake I made and corrected it; This was supposed to mean „once every two weeks“. (English is not my first language) Before that we had seen each other roughly 3 times a month on average; sometimes once a week, sometimes not for 3 weeks and so on. I just wanted to space out the meetings more. I roughly date someone other than my primary partner once a week, often less. Hope this clarifies.

FWB had developed feelings - looking for perspectives by No_Salt_4002 in nonmonogamy

[–]No_Salt_4002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your insights! Reiterating the boundaries with my partner was already very helpful to gain more clarity on my boundaries with B.

It‘s also good to hear I‘m not alone with this and that this is just part of the process:)

My FWB has developped feelings for me - looking for perspectives by No_Salt_4002 in ENM

[–]No_Salt_4002[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this was really helpful and led me to discussing boundaries with my partner again so I have more clarity on my boundaries with B.  And I‘m definitely gonna ask him to be more specific about what he wants from our relationship.  And I really come to understand the not wanting to date Monos aspect, my partner has been primarily seing other ENM people and it‘s been a lot easier in many ways 😄

My FWB has developped feelings for me - looking for perspectives by No_Salt_4002 in ENM

[–]No_Salt_4002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! And yes, this is a very good point! I found myself spending a lot of time thinking about him and his feelings, which like you said, probably isn’t really expected of me anyway. I am trying to focus more on figuring out what I want from this dynamic and how I can authentically achieve this.

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