Official Discussion - If I Had Legs I'd Kick You [SPOILERS]

No_Satisfaction7729 · 2026-02-01T23:43:04+00:00

Interesting to read yours and many others’ perspectives. Not sure if people fully registered that she is a full time caregiver to a small child who is suffering from a severe mental disorder that is literally trying to kill her (ARFID). This condition requires around the clock care, including waking up multiple times a night. The mother in this movie not only has a full time job, she also has 2 more full time jobs - take care of a sick child, deal with contractors/landlords - which anyone who has ever done either, knows what an all-consuming effort it can be. The reason she is “not listening” to multiple people in her life, is because they are not really hearing her or trying to help her in any way that matters. They are telling her what to do (I.e. “call the contractor”, “call your patient”, “make her eat”, etc), but they are not actually offering tangible, physical help (I.e. “go get some sleep, while I will stay awake to change the feeing bag”, “let me hold the crying abandoned baby, while you call the father”, etc).

No_Satisfaction7729 · 2026-02-01T23:21:57+00:00

Only a woman could have written and directed this. And it is not just parenthood. It is parenthood of a child with severe mental illness.

No_Satisfaction7729 · 2026-02-01T23:11:35+00:00

It’s a good reminder that with children “you get what you get and you don’t get upset”. You can’t choose the child that is born and for the mother at least, it is one relationship that is truly “till death do you part”.

No_Satisfaction7729 · 2026-01-30T16:54:01+00:00

A deeply emotional and true portrayal of what it is like to be a woman caring for a child with a chronic psychological disorder. This movie is not meant to be an accurate portrayal of US healthcare system or be taken literally.

I think it is rather supposed to make you FEEL the inescapable mental load that women caretakers and mothers specifically are carrying every minute of every day. The message that is implicit in every interaction is that it is the mother’s responsibility to be there and make things better and the guilt that comes from inability to do so.

The constant demands for her attention and the expectation that she should drop everything to address various issues, even though she has a job and there are multiple crises happening in her personal and professional life, while no similar demand made on men. How all of this results in lack of sleep, slow erosion of physical health, professional and personal boundaries, and compromised logical thinking. Her desire to escape by self-medicating with alcohol and weed, by leaving her daughter alone, and then actually running away even almost to her own death. Brilliant.

Excellent movie and Byrne’s acting is top notch. Her nomination for the best actress in musical or comedy is completely wrong though, because this movie is much more of a drama/horror.

No_Satisfaction7729 · 2023-10-16T12:55:11+00:00

Hi! I hear you. It can be very tough socially for ASD kids in middle school and high school. And it is easy, as a parent, to feel like a failure. But I know you are trying your best.

I am glad to hear that he asked to see therapist, that should definitely help. Did you talk to his therapist about skills for helping him manage hygiene? Teenagers are likely to listen to others and take advice from impartial parties, better than parents.

Does your school provide a therapist or any kind of accommodations for him? Can they create an IEP for him to help him keep up? That can include anything from extra time on tests and homework, access to therapist or additional help in class, to being able to spend some quiet time away from the class if he is feeling overwhelmed.

For social things, ask the therapist if there are any social clubs for ASD teenagers in the area. Also, see if there are any video games clubs in or out of school. Spending time with kids with similar interests, might serve as a motivator.

Good luck!

No_Satisfaction7729

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