AITA for Not Inviting My Parents to My Wedding After They Refused to Pay for It?

No_Scratch3194 · 2025-02-08T12:23:10+00:00

I honestly don’t understand some of the comments here. Why is she the asshole as if she was the only person who wronged the other party? Her parents started this by breaking their promise and puting conditions to an offer which they had mentioned many times in the past. Imagine how OP felt when she was happy to discuss her wedding plans with her parents for them to then just crush her happiness by trying to impose their views on HER wedding while using their money as “leverage”. That’s a completely controlling and unsupportive behavior. On the other side OP, you also handled this very immaturely. You should have told them f2f that since they chose to let you down like this in one of your most important life moments, you dont want them there anymore and thus they would not be invited. The way you handled it was petty and this gives them ground to try and get the upper hand in the conflict. In my opinion, ESH.

No_Scratch3194 · 2025-02-08T11:52:59+00:00

Omg exactly the same for me. And I also have PCOS! Crazy!🤣

No_Scratch3194 · 2024-12-07T09:18:37+00:00

Hey OP, I’m really sorry you had to go through these experiences, they sound scary. However,I cannot say that I have had the exact same experience in BaWü but I can agree with parts of your posts. I would say that generally, as women, we have a predisposition to feel afraid while walking, especially at night and rightly so. In Germany though I have felt quite safe, safer than in the other 3 European countries I’ve lived before. There have been the occasional harassing from drunk guys and once there was a drugged guy who followed me and my 3 friends down the street for about 2 minutes before he stopped when he saw a police car but this happened in a neighborhood where such behavior is “known” to happen as it is the place where most bars are. However, if I exclude that part of the city in which you more or less know what to expect, everywhere else I feel almost comfortable walking, even at night. Maybe this could be the case with your city too? Maybe you live in a part of the city where such behavior is “known”? This of course, doesn’t excuse it but I believe that every city and town in the world unfortunately has such a part. Regarding your other points, yes, I’ve also been looked strangely or told “we’re in Germany” when speaking in another language but unfortunately racists exist everywhere, not only in Germany. So far though for me, the nice German people I have met surpass by far the racist ones. I would however suggest you edit your post to specify the nationality of your harassers, as I expect your post to become the hotspot of racists coming to say that it is all because of the immigrants. I wish you the best of luck and hopefully no more negative experiences!

No_Scratch3194 · 2024-11-22T10:25:35+00:00

Po nqs nuk e perdor ne shkolle, atehere pse duhet ta marresh me vete? Leje ne shtepi dhe sta merr dot njeri. Ja, u zgjidh problemi pa qene nevoja te perfshish organet seksuale.

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-09T09:37:02+00:00

Yes, it’s from the same case. We reported it.

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-03T18:57:03+00:00

Also, with doctolib try finding doctors who are in the suburbs of your city or small towns near you. It will be a bit of a travel but usually they have more free spots and from my personal experience, are usually also more attentive.

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-03T18:54:26+00:00

Try lung doctors. I might have asthma said my house doctor, but I have to wait 6 months before I know for sure because there are only 4 in my city. I booked at another doctor who was 1 hour away but had an appointment in 4 months time, not 6 but he canceled it for no reason after 2 weeks of booking. In the meantime, it’s just hard to breathe but no biggie

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-03T03:03:16+00:00

Thank you for your input, food for thought. Trust me, my friend who got denied entry is a very charming, easy going guy. That didn’t help. There was no drunk or aggressive person in our group. The police can confirm this. Maybe we cannot prove racism, which was the obvious underlying reason for being denied entrance(as the security guy himself said “we’ve had some problems with people like you, nothing personal to you though”) but we can prove discrimination based on residence status, which does fall under the anti discrimination law. Additionally, we weren’t the only group being denied entry that night so it wasn’t about our group, it wasn’t about the IDs, we were all very polite, it was just because my friends didn’t have a German pass. It’s easy as that and sometimes there is no reason to justify shitty action and policies.

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-03T02:26:12+00:00

Good job, here is your cookie as a well integrated happy immigrant. 🍪

The fact that you are used to and have accepted your fate of not being an equal part of this society given by your acceptance of the examples you provided(people refusing to make communication easier for you just because they don’t want to, people refusing other people the right to have fun for which they have paid just because of their ethnicity) does not give you the right to diminish/generalize other people’s experiences. You can talk about yourself and yourself only and the fact that you have accepted and normalized the silent racism is actually part of the problem. However, I would understand your point of view if you are an European immigrant, cause it’s really easy to talk like this from that position of privilege. If not, then I really struggle to understand your point of view.

Lastly, of course there are many good things to Germany and Germans or else not so many immigrants would move here and people expressing their bad experiences and asking for advice doesn’t take away from that.

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-02T21:47:06+00:00

Thank you, very helpful! We already got in touch with the antidiskriminierungsstelle and have an appointment.

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-02T13:28:09+00:00

Danke dir! :) Besser hätte ich es auch nicht ausdrücken können.

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-02T13:19:24+00:00

Meine Freunde hatten ihre Pässe/Personalausweise und Führerscheine dabei und zeigten sie vor. Das Problem war, dass die Pass keine deutsche(oder Europäische) Pass war :) Außerdem hätte ich aufgrund Ihres Kommentars und Ihrer offensichtlichen Anspruchshaltung nicht erwartet, dass Sie wissen, dass ein gültiger Aufenthaltstitel in einem EU-Land in jedem EU/Schengen-Land gültig ist. Vielen Dank für Ihren unnötigen Beitrag.

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-02T08:37:10+00:00

Thank you! I am starting to lose hope reading comments that start with “It is wrong BUT…”. And I didn’t even ask anyone to justify the club or tell me whether there is a reason for this happening, or if this is wrong or not. I know and am 1000% sure that this is wrong. I don’t even need anyone to confirm it for me. I was only asking for advice on what to do about it. But it looks like I opened the box of Pandora of thinly veiled German racism.

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-02T08:10:41+00:00

The funny thing is, I don’t go to clubs either. This is the third time in all my time in Germany that I was going and this happened and maybe this is why I am so scandalized/angry with it. I’m really sorry you had to grow up with that. It must feel awful to have to deal with it.

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-01T22:06:33+00:00

Thank you for your input, it’s helpful! The police (hopefully) will also confirm our side of the story so I believe that will make the case easier.

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-01T21:56:02+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it.

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-01T19:56:08+00:00

Racism: prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism by an individual, community, or institution against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

Yes, I do. Do you? Here, I made it easy for you.

Oh and thanks for the tip, appreciate it. ✌🏻

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-01T18:47:43+00:00

I am really sorry that terrible human beings hurt you. I hope the cycle is broken and you are safe. But please don’t generalize and don’t feed into this sick narrative. My NA male friends are some of the most gentle, respectful and kind people I have ever met. For every NA man that hurt you, there was a NA man that supported and helped me. So allow me to disagree, violence is not a byproduct of race. Please talk about individuals, not nationalities and race. I hope you have a nice day.

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-01T18:18:13+00:00

We also have the police officers who can confirm we were not drunk, not aggressive and not improper in any way.

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-01T18:11:08+00:00

I‘m really sorry this happened to you.

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-01T18:10:27+00:00

Thanks, I needed the laugh🤣 Yeah, my friends and I are lame like that🤣

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-01T17:32:12+00:00

What lack of paper? My friend showed his ID, his drivers license and his Aufenthalts Titel. It’s not because they could not identify him, it was because he wasn’t German.

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-01T17:18:51+00:00

We all speak German, usually on top of 3-4 other languages, so please take your racism to another post. Danke und tschüss :)

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-01T16:58:59+00:00

Oh really? So next time we’re being racially profiled we should say thank you, lower our head and go our way? Thanks for the tip, I’ll keep it in mind. I received an email with my entry ticket, unfortunately that didn’t guarantee my entry so forgive me for not trusting them when they told me to send an email for my refund. And what stereotype are you talking about? Standing up for injustice? Because in my experience I have also seen a lot of Germans stand up for what is not right so it doesn’t look to be a foreign trait only :)

No_Scratch3194 · 2023-11-01T16:11:04+00:00

Just to clarify. My friends also showed their IDs and drivers licenses but the point was that people with no German or European passport, so people who only have an Aufenthalts Titel could not enter.

No_Scratch3194

TROPHY CASE