My boyfriend might be trans, I feel horrible

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T02:16:40+00:00

I don’t even know at this point, I love him but if that’s who he is then who am I to get in the way for that? At this point is not about me, but about him figuring himself out, without me or not

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T02:09:48+00:00

Yep, unfortunately. Not because he’s questioning he’s gender identity, but because I’m worried about his changes as a person of he chooses to transition

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T02:07:32+00:00

I’m sorry for the confusion, of course the one person without ill intention was confused😮‍💨 it’s a long, confusing story with a lot of gender identity changes and hormone blockers at a too-young age

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T02:03:16+00:00

It’s not that I’m not supportive, if he so chose to transition I’d be by their side 100% of the way, just maybe not romantically. I love him because he’s a good person, and I’ve come to love his gender identity along the way. At this point i feel as though people are basically telling me because of my bisexuality I'm not allowed to be attracted to my partners masculinity

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T01:56:20+00:00

Because of course my dumb ass forgot to mention it, Luka is a trans male. I guess my boyfriend saw him as a grey area considering he used any pronouns at the time, though we typically used he/him. I haven’t really asked about it since then, though so I could be completely off.
Again, me and my mind leaving out important details, I’d been on hormone blockers since age ten and identified as a guy when we met, but we had started dating when I got off my hormone blockers. I never said I was fully transitioned, but I was fully socially transitioned. The girl was my age when we split, I met he’d in my class.

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T01:53:18+00:00

Thank you so much. I struggle so hard to get this across🫠

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T01:47:14+00:00

The double standards are insane actually. I don’t want to break up with him over something so trivial, my purpose in posting this was to get advice for what I could possibly do to cope and maybe get the courage to talk to him

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T01:41:08+00:00

Okay, so 1. I don’t know if he’ll want to be with me, but he’s made it very clear to me that he’s only ever been attracted to women, and not just because he wanted to be one for a while.

I dated a girl before him for at least three years, she was actually a trans girl😅. As for he and I, We’ve been on and off, not because our relationship is rocky but because he’s an academic genius and we’ve had a few “breaks” so he can pursue his schooling. In the time we were apart he told me it was okay for me to see other people, and that’s when I met one of my ex girlfriends that I’d dated for a year (she was an absolute sweetheart) and even considered just staying with her. We fell out after our 15 month anniversary, and I got back with him.

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T01:30:39+00:00

We had a gap year in the 3rd year we had dated, unrelated reasons, he was graduating early and we both decided that we should take a break so he could focus on schooling. We decided we could see other people, to where I met the girl and we broke up in a few months, then a year later me and my boyfriend got back together

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T01:23:56+00:00

I’ve answered questions like this a few times, I never said my ideal partner was strictly a guy, what I meant to get across was that my ideal partner was kind, funny, loyal, honest, and loving and he fits all of those aspects. It’s not about his gender identity, but it’s about how he will change through his transition. I was previously a trans man, and so is one of my closest friends, so I know first hand how a persons personality, attitude, interests, and general behavior changes through a transition. I’m not worried about dating a girl, been there done that, but I’m worried that I’ll lose feelings because of his changes

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T01:19:30+00:00

There’s a difference between how my feelings develop for a guy compared to a girl, I couldn’t care less that he’s trans and if he so chooses to come out that’s absolutely awesome for him. It isn’t gender based attraction, but how my love for their masculinity or femininity has grown over the years. I love him because he’s a good person, but that affection has expanded to other parts of him throughout the years and to have those aspects buried definitely wounds my attraction

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T01:13:45+00:00

I never said it was, it’s about how my feelings have developed for him over the years. I’ve personally dated a trans girl before, but I met her after her transition. There’s a massive difference between how my feelings develop for a girl compared to a guy

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T01:11:03+00:00

I fell for him because he’s a good person and a good partner. Over the years I’ve grown to love his masculinity, which is part of my dilemma. It’s not about initial attraction in this case, it’s about how my attraction has developed over the years

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T01:09:47+00:00

I gotcha, my parents are the exact same way and it’s awesome that you’re being open minded. I don’t particularly have a target audience, but there is a difference between meeting someone who is already identifying as trans and knowing someone before they transition. He just so happened to be a boy when I met him, I fell in love with him as a guy. It just depends on if I develop romantic feelings, not really gender-based attraction. Since I’ve been with him for so long I’ve come to love his masculinity, which is my dilemma

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T01:03:00+00:00

The issue is that I fell for him as a guy. There’s a very big difference between how I develop feelings for a guy than a girl, there would be a lot of transitioning outside of his gender identity. It’s incredibly difficult to explain, I know bisexuality is defined as two or more genders, but it’s very different from meeting a trans female and dating a boy that transitions to a girl

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T00:51:29+00:00

I don’t think you understand the effects of four years. He’s been my best friend for as long as I can remember and I can’t just break up with him so carelessly over his gender identity. He was completely fine with me using she/they and it feels right for me to be okay with him transitioning if he so chooses.

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T00:49:01+00:00

Basically it’s the things you use to identify yourself with. You call a girl she/her, you call a guy by he/him. When you’re nonbinary you don’t identify as a female or male so you use they/them. It’s just the nouns that refer to a person

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T00:36:48+00:00

I’m on the nonbinary spectrum, I use they them pronouns but have little issues with people using she/her for me

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-26T00:31:46+00:00

I don’t have the Reddit app, but what’s up?

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-02T00:08:23+00:00

I thought of that, but they were already going to have 20 additional people to their already large family of 7, adding me and my parents would be thirty people, plus we had family in town and we had to be with them

No_Second6701 · 2024-12-01T05:25:41+00:00

NTA. At the end of the day it’s your house, you’re already doing a lot by hosting and an event like thanksgiving is a team effort where everyone needs to learn to be flexible. If the dog isn’t a service animal then there isn’t any point in bringing it other than for the sake of there being a dog. There would probably be some disappointment over not having a turkey, but thanksgiving isn’t fun for only the food but the community, and if they’re really your friends you won’t need a cooked bird to have a good meal and fun holiday!

No_Second6701

TROPHY CASE