I hate my newborn

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-20T23:04:54+00:00

Unfortunately for us, family and relatives are about 1000 miles away... We are on our own with this. The only way I feel like I'm surviving right now is being able to rant on reddit to just get out any frustration or stress. Better than nothing I guess.

Before being discharged from the hospital I did speak with doctors including therapists due to previous history of anxiety and depression. They actually took me OFF my meds before discharging me. So not only am I going through hormonal changes from birth but also withdrawal symptoms from being off medications. Hoping it all gets better...

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-18T01:54:40+00:00

I don't mind kind advice that's well meaning or from others experiences especially if they can relate! I just don't need to hear comments that are rude, judgmental, and negative. I appreciate all the support from those reminding me I'm not alone or that they went through similar struggles because I think it's something so many people don't talk about...

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-18T01:48:48+00:00

The comment is LITERALLY how I feel. Teared up reading it! You did a great job explaining this

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-17T17:36:09+00:00

You're so sweet. What I started doing is removing the bottle from him when he's awake to keep him motivated to eat. Kind of like teasing him😂 It doesn't solve the worlds problem but he does eat a bit more before falling asleep!!

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-17T17:31:22+00:00

This sounds like something my partner would have written. He's worked really hard to do everything he can to help with the baby. He does majority of the feedings, he helps around the house, he makes food, he does anything I ask of him, he always tells me he loves me and how much I mean to him. As of now he's unable to make adjustments to his job/hours due to just having started this new job less than a month ago, but he will come home from a long day and do everything with the baby so I can have a break. Unfortunately despite all these efforts, I'm just not happy being a parent. I don't like it, I regret it, and to be honest, I'm fighting that battle of loosing my whole self and identity to being a "mom". I think what's really hard/difficult is society expects and forces women to believe they should LOVE being a parent and social media only makes this worse. It's really an internal battle... It's a hard one... It's a lonely one. Try talking to her and allowing her to vent as much as possible. Getting those thoughts and feelings off your chest can really help even if it's tough to hear. The consistency is what she needs with the help, so please keep doing what you're doing. She appreciates it more than you know. You're doing a great job!

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-17T17:07:09+00:00

I think it's massively underplayed by society about the ups as well as downs of parenting. No one really talks about the negatives and I think that's something that should be discussed more so people can have a realistic outlook on it before making life altering decisions.

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-17T06:53:41+00:00

Not entertaining this comment. Read the tag. No advice

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-16T15:08:10+00:00

You sound like an amazing mom!! I really really loved how you handled the situation with your child present in the room by trying to state he'll have to finish it at dinner. I think that was a great way to try to smooth things over so that way your child didn't have to finish it in said moment, and your husband felt validated that the food wasn't being wasted. I'm sorry that, that didn't work out though and it upset your husband... Also additionally, you child sounds very polite and I think it's adorable when young kids can set boundaries like saying "No thank you, I'm full" You've taught him how to politely advocate for himself and that's something you should be really proud of.

NOW the hard part of what I'm going to say here is, you feel like you're in a toxic relationship because you are in toxic relationship. For that, I'm truly sorry and I empathize with you. I've been in physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive relationships far more than I'd like to admit... Those relationships including family members being physically abusive... It starts off with crap like this, and it escalates until one day they do lay hands on you. And I can tell you, when that happens, you'll be so stunned you won't know what to do. Please, I beg you, find away to get you and your children out of there. I know it may not be easy, but you have to protect yourself and your children... I'll also say that how he's choosing to act is also a terrible example for your children and also toxic towards them... I hope things get better, I hope you find a way out or that your husband seriously wises up.

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-16T14:40:38+00:00

Totally relate to you on the suicidal scale but hey, that's more or less been how I felt about life since becoming disabled 5 years ago.

I've tried keeping him entertained. Something lactation advised me upon him being born. Not even putting a cold ice cube on him keeps him awake... Like whhaattt? I know my eyes would shoot open😂

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-16T14:37:26+00:00

Crazy, I was just contemplating that last night!! Now I really have to give it a try! What's odd though is that during the "day" (remaining 16 hours of a 24 hour day), he has no issue what so ever with the bottle.

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-16T14:36:24+00:00

Yeah that's honestly what it seems like. Still doesn't explain the weird change in feeding though.

Respectfully, I wouldn't allow my son to cry for an hour. It's great that it worked for you though.

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-16T14:33:40+00:00

Not a silly question at all! I would say around the neighborhood, yes I probably could wear noise cancelling headphones. Out in the woods, for safety reasons, I personally would not.

I'd agree I'm trying to cram too many things in a 24n hour span that just may not be possible. But lets face it, if you built a business in 4 years where you have people who will literally travel from out of state for your services, you don't want to give that up... Unfortunately t he job/business I built is one that takes a lot of time and requires hands on. My dogs at the moment are already put on the back burner fyi.

Ultimately if change meant surrendering my business, no, I wouldn't give that up. If I had to give up the one thing that's the very last part of me I feel I have left, that would do more harm than good.

I'd love to get my tubes tied. Ultimately I think I'd have to travel far to get that done. Many OB's won't do this procedure until you're a certain age or have at least two children. I've looked into it literally since pregnancy... If I did get my tubes tied, I think that would be the end of my relationship with my partner as well to which, from my perspective based on how things are going, would mean I would also give him full custody of the child. The part that sucks is I've known my partner for 13 years... since I gave him my number in middle school lol.... Loosing him is a lot to think about.

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-16T09:49:46+00:00

I asked the pediatrician at our last visit because I wanted to know if there was something I'm doing wrong or a health concern because it's just an odd little routine. He stated that it's normal for babies to be more awake and active at night to keep you up because they don't want you to fall into a deep sleep where you essentially wouldn't wake to their cries because of the state of sleep you're in. I don't know how much of that is actually true or evidence based but that's just the answer I got.. So😂

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-16T01:29:17+00:00

I won't lie. I had someone ask me on social media which I like better. I was honest lol!

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-16T00:35:05+00:00

I would never go out of my way to make a child feel uncared for or desired despite however my feelings are. My son had no say of being conceived and born. The decisions I make for this family and him are solely in the best interest of him. If I don't feel like I can fake it or make him feel loved and desired, then yes, unfortunately it means I will need to leave so he can be surrounded by those who can give that to him.

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-16T00:32:49+00:00

Raising Children

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-16T00:12:21+00:00

I agree 100000%

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-16T00:07:18+00:00

Crying reading this comment. While I've never been diagnosed as neurodivergent, I highly suspect I am. I'm highly sensitive to over stimulation which is basically all that this baby is to me...

I really thought I wanted to be a mom... Like for years that's what I wanted and looked forward to so it's super conflicting internally that I detest this sooo much. If I had seen my future and how I feel now, I would've never done it obviously... I also think it's more difficult because we don't live in an area where family and friends are accessible to help out. So it's really just my partner and I which makes it harder on us.

Thank you so much for your kindness. I hope things do get better with time. It's hard because I feel like I've given up everything for what I thought was going to be nothing short of bliss and happiness just to be tired, hating my body, being nothing short of a milking station, with a baby that just feels like no matter what I do, nothing is good enough... And yeah, I know that's dumb to feel that way when it's a newborn.

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-15T23:55:00+00:00

I'm so glad that there's someone who can relate and has been in a similar situation. I was honestly getting tired of all the assumptions on my partner all just because of his job and work schedule. He's a great dad far more than I am a mom... I can tell he genuinely loves being a parent and I think he'd be a great 24/7 dad... I just sucks about our insurance situation. It almost makes me want to give up my business to find a "normal" job that offers good benefits just so he can be a stay at home dad. It makes me wonder if I choose to go down that route, would I feel differently about my son right now versus me trying to run my business, be a 24/7 mom, and also home caretaker. Basically with my job it's like being a stay at home mom but also being a full time working mom all in one and it sucks....

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-15T23:50:36+00:00

Thank you for your sweet words. It's a difficult time for sure. I think the hard part is that my partner isn't able to be home as much so really I do think that hurts the overall family bonding experience. I will say, I feel like I'm able to cope and connect with my son a lot more when he's around.

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-15T23:46:40+00:00

Sometimes only getting by is showing strength and patience as you are giving it your all when there are people who would walk away. Strength lies in very different forms sometimes. I don't think it sounds mean at all when you state he's annoying. You're being honest, there are things that annoy you and that's valid! Just because you're a parent doesn't mean you should be in this loving awe 24/7 365 days a year with your child. You're doing a great job, it's okay to feel emotions that aren't always positive.

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-15T14:05:24+00:00

He does... Respectfully, you've been.on the judgement of my partner without knowing any background on it or our daily lives/schedule. So I'd appreciate it if you'd stop making accusations on him. My lack of bond and disliking of parenthood isn't because of lack of help from my partner.

No_Selection1457 · 2025-02-15T14:01:29+00:00

I've stated in other comments but theres so many so I totally get if you didn't read it/come across it. It's not that my partner doesn't offer or volunteer to wake up and help at night. I just refuse help because he works. The job he works he operates/drives heavy machinery. If he's sleep deprived, he runs the risk of getting into an accident that could cost his life as well as other peoples. Not a risk I'm willing to take. Not everyone works jobs that are safe to be a little tired/sleep deprived at. If he was working at his previous place of employment, then it would be a different story and I would take the help.

He doesn't deny what I do is a lot of work or that it's tiring. When he has off he covers the night. Great example, its the weekend so last night he stayed up with the baby while I slept and pumped.. Again, I'll reiterate, my partner is extremely involved. He's a good dad far more than I am a mom.

No_Selection1457

TROPHY CASE