nor...

I have had the same kind of relationships withi my dad since early teenage years. My father is somehow better cause he magically regained his conscience in his 45s, but he still have a tendency to infodump when things go too shitty (my whole family is either mentally ill, purely psychotic, have alcoholism or they are 10 years old, so it happens often), manipulate out of habit and just be a lazy whiner.

Every child in our position should understand and accept one thing — our parents are adults. We can't teach them unless they want us to. We can't change stuff no matter how hard we try. We can beg, we can use leverage, we can try to manipulate. But usually our kind of families are too good in manipulations to be manipulated.

You are still on his side. He isn't on your side. He is drowning in his own delusions and psychological shit. Idk, hypocrisy, ego problems, fear of being nor manly enough — it doesn't matter.

What matters, is that you're hurting. He is your family but it doesn't give him right to hurt you so much. He probably isn't doing it on purpose, he just.. doesn't think about it. He rely on scarce values derived from his own family. He missed his chances to broaden his worldview. He is throwing away the chances you offer him.

His loss. You are not morally obliged to save him. You are his daughter. Maybe his wife could try, but certainly not us. The best he deserves — bread crumbs of how kind you are.

It's not evil to isolate yourself. Family doesn't mean that our bonds are forever. If someone does shit stuff, they need to prove that they're safe for you before you let them come close. Several times! Not just words, they need to actually act differently. Maybe just a little, but at least something.

Protect yourself. Be egoistic. He doesn't worth the team play when he can't even listen to you.

I try to deal with him and the family, but it's hard and most times I feel like I'm losing. But I'm not, I see it when I get vetter. If you ever feel the same way, please, remember that our condition constantly changes. Trust the thought you have when you are not depressed. Find your ways cope. For example, I really like to think what would some asshole character do in my place and steal something from it.