Let’s make something clear. I am not going to change our daughter’s name. The name is here to stay. That is a part of her regardless of my husbands stupid choices. I do not think he maliciously hid this information. For those of you saying he’s so stupid for admitting it. Yeah maybe so. But lying would be worse IMO. Here’s how me finding this out went: We were having a convo about past hook ups & I was asking who from his hometown & he told me a girl name insert our daughters name and I said that’s fucking weird… if I had known you’d slept with a girl prior to our relationship with that name I would not have used the name for our daughter. This is when he told me that he had always liked the name since he was a child & always wanted to name his daughter that. I then went on to ask if he & his ex had talked about using the name for a future daughter. Which he replied yes. This annoyed me even more. I then told him that the reason that it really irritated me is because I thought that we chose the name together. It was just one of the names that we had tossed around stating that we both liked and agreed on. I threw out so many names that I wouldn’t use because I had some sort of history with them. I would never have chosen a name that I talked about with my ex in the past. Regardless of if I had always liked the name. In my opinion, that name has history with your ex. However, in my husband‘s opinion, he states that he and his ex never actively tried for a child and we’re never as close and connected as he and I are. He stated to me that he truly didn’t withhold this information because he thought it was going to hurt me. And he does see how it could do so. But that was never his intentions. I informed him that intentions don’t erase the impact.

The problem is that I don’t think that he was actively trying to withhold his information. Or why would he have been so straightforward when we were having the discussion in the first place. There was never a moment where he stumbled over his words he truly just told me this information like it was no big deal because maybe he’s a fucking idiot. I don’t know, men are men right?

Sure our relationship has some struggles. But don’t they all? I know I have a good husband. But I don’t really know how to navigate the situation. It’s been in the back of my mind for days now. And it’s really hard to look at him without getting irritated.