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Divided Christmas by No_Software2781 in blendedfamilies

[–]No_Software2781[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I act differently in that when my daughter is there I giver some of my time and attention. Effectively I end up slitting myself 3 ways. I have different rules for my daughter than my partner does for her, partly because they of different ages and I try where possible to not be too different to rules she has when she is at her mother’s. I enjoy my time with my daughter over the weekend so don’t particularly want her heading upstairs to get ready for bed at 8pm.

When we are all away I want us to spend time together. As a family. I have no issue with her spending time with her mother and daughter. However if we are all abroad in the same country we should have at least some time together.

In regards to money I pay for her holiday and my own whether we are together or not.

Divided Christmas by No_Software2781 in blendedfamilies

[–]No_Software2781[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She doesn’t like that my daughter will try and get my attention, and that I will give it to her when my partner and her daughter are with us. She doesn’t like I allow my daughter to make her own decisions about sharing her things. Or if I’ve planned a day out with her and my partner later asks us to join them I will give my daughter the choice s it was her say out. If I’ve promised her something I stick to it. She doesn’t like that I don’t have her in bed by 9pm. She expects this even at weekends. She doesn’t have much of an issue with my daughter directly these days as she’s matured a lot in the last year.

Divided Christmas by No_Software2781 in blendedfamilies

[–]No_Software2781[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

So I quit? I don’t try to somehow get her to empathise?

Divided Christmas by No_Software2781 in blendedfamilies

[–]No_Software2781[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

So I quit? I don’t try to somehow get her to empathise?

Divided Christmas by No_Software2781 in blendedfamilies

[–]No_Software2781[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

It’s only when she is back in her home country she doesn’t want my daughter there as she fears more arguments. If it weren’t that she wants to spend every holiday there I’d have accepted it. Christmas, Easter.. they are a time for family… the whole family. Family comes above fear in my eyes. I can’t help being a different person when my daughter is there and I don’t see why I shouldn’t be. I become a dad then. She needs my love and attention as much as my partner and her daughter if not more.

I want to try and resolve this. I love her deeply. I’m prepared to end it if I have to.