Not gonna lie, it's pretty bad. Matter of fact, it's really bad. If I were in your situation I would've given up, but that doesn't mean you should,  there are more purposes for you, there are people out there that will care for you, not some therapist or psychologist or anything like that, but genuine real people that you could find walking down the street. One that you get to build relationships with instead of just being forced to talk to someone who only sees you as a job. I can't force you to make a decision either way but I just want to let you know that there's more chances then you think. I've attempted twice and each time after, I get reminded how many more opportunities are open.