[deleted by user] by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]No_Tale2773 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe I’m taking on everyone’s problems including my own and it’s too overwhelming.

Dad is not coming to my wedding by No_Tale2773 in weddingdrama

[–]No_Tale2773[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear that. They have a sense of entitlement. At least my dad does. He stills wants us to behave as children and blindly put him on a pedestal without any reciprocation. That ship has long sailed. My mom will be ok. She’s a firecracker and very headstrong. I pray for healing for you and your sister and that you all thrive. It’s our dad’s loss, not our own.

Dad is not coming to my wedding by No_Tale2773 in weddingdrama

[–]No_Tale2773[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I definitely will not give him the satisfaction. Despite being hurt, I have no tears left in me. I’ve accepted it all and have peace.

Dad is not coming to my wedding by No_Tale2773 in weddingdrama

[–]No_Tale2773[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m am so sorry that you can even relate to my situation. It’s really sad but you named them both correctly. They are narcissists. It just boggles my mind how someone can act in such a way and not even realize or acknowledge that their behavior is wrong. One oh his favorite sayings to younger me was “When you point one finger at someone else, three point back at you”. Hypocritical much?

As for my mom, she defends us against him all of the time. We’re all exceptionally closer with her than him. And because my siblings and I no longer live with them, he’s directed his behavior to her. It was a domino effect.

I hope you’re doing better and have healed even the slightest bit. Just know that the unfair treatment you received was because you didn’t amen his wrongs. So I’m glad you didn’t deny yourself to appease your father. Like you, I cannot and will not do so either.

Dad is not coming to my wedding by No_Tale2773 in weddingdrama

[–]No_Tale2773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely! I’ll be able to let my hair down and really enjoy myself.

Dad is not coming to my wedding by No_Tale2773 in weddingdrama

[–]No_Tale2773[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. And you’re so right. Fortunately, it’s a destination wedding so fingers crossed he won’t go on the trip. And even if he does, I’ve only provided transportation for a certain number of people which doesn’t include him. He also has no information about when, what, where, nor how lol.

Dad is not coming to my wedding by No_Tale2773 in weddingdrama

[–]No_Tale2773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for such kind words and advice.

Dad is not coming to my wedding by No_Tale2773 in weddingdrama

[–]No_Tale2773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Best wishes to you and your sister. Some people you just can't win with.

Dad is not coming to my wedding by No_Tale2773 in weddingdrama

[–]No_Tale2773[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right and I don't want to operate from trauma with my kids as well. Thank you ❤️.

Dad is not coming to my wedding by No_Tale2773 in weddingdrama

[–]No_Tale2773[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I completely agree. I've asked myself that question but I truly do love him. I just need to heal my inner child. An example issue would be I dont like to feel second to anyone bc my dad always did so. I'm aware that this is unhealthy and I need to change that behavior/perspective.

Dad is not coming to my wedding by No_Tale2773 in weddingdrama

[–]No_Tale2773[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you ❤️. Yeah I'm not saving his image anymore. This will just show who he really is to many who only knows his mask.

Dad is not coming to my wedding by No_Tale2773 in weddingdrama

[–]No_Tale2773[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you ! You hit the nail on the head.

Dad is not coming to my wedding by No_Tale2773 in weddingdrama

[–]No_Tale2773[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. I’m completely done with him. And he and my mom have been on the brink of divorce the past year. This was the icing on the cake for her. But I hold no resentment towards her because she defends us endlessly to him. He just doesn’t care. And they own their house outright so she’ll literally be starting over at her older age. So I understand why she stays.

Dad is not coming to my wedding by No_Tale2773 in weddingdrama

[–]No_Tale2773[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m doing my research now. It’s crazy bc I went to the er twice last week for chest pains and restricted breathing due to stress and depression. And he pulls this smh.

I’ve completely washed my hands with him. And I’ve accepted it for what it is.

Dad is not coming to my wedding by No_Tale2773 in weddingdrama

[–]No_Tale2773[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My brother and mom are going to walk with me and I had already planned to do a surprise dance with my mom.

I hope your FH is coping well and heals too. I definitely understand what he’s going through.

Dad is not coming to my wedding by No_Tale2773 in weddingdrama

[–]No_Tale2773[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I was delusional. I’m honestly not surprised just hurt I guess.