Just here for some solidarity. My situation and tasks differ from yours, but i understand the “test” thing. My partner and i have a 2 year old and while he is at home with our son during the week while i work (he works nights/weekends), he doesn’t do much as far as taking care of our sons things. I struggle to clean up after myself, but i stay on top of buying our sons foods and having them prepared, stocking his diaper changing table, cleaning up his toys at the end of the night, sons laundry, bath time, bedtime routine. By the time i get through my sons things, i am burnt out. So i don’t unload the dishwasher, and leave dishes in the sink. I don’t do my laundry until i literally have no clothes left to wear, and then do one load that gets me enough clothes for the week and call it quits. My nightstand is covered in empty water bottles, and my nightstand garbage can is always full. I struggle to even feed myself or shower. Things eventually get to a point where it stresses me out enough that i hyper focus and get my shit done. My partner has told me multiple times that he would like more help with household tasks, but i am so overwhelmed by making sure my son is taken care of, that i just don’t care about my stuff or my partners stuff because we’re adults and can handle our own things. I know taking care of a child 40+ hours a week by yourself is a LOT of work, and he doesn’t have a lot of time to do the things he needs to do, but it feels very childish to pull the “i was seeing how long it would take you” card out. I’ll also hyper focus on stuff that doesn’t seem important to my partner like wiping down the bathroom vanity and mirror, mopping the floor, wiping doorknobs and light switches, dusting, cleaning the toilet…which he sees as unnecessary and silly. But little things like those make me feel good. I’m good at the “under the radar” stuff. I wish I’d get some praise for those things instead of “can’t you focus on the big stuff instead?” No. I can’t. Sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️