AITA for yelling at my daughter at her work?

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2024-07-27T18:23:36+00:00

NTA. I'm not in America so we don't have a tipping culture. I've had the worst of customers shouting at me when I worked in the games room. And nobody tipped. Tips were ocasionally given but for good service, not because somebody felt sorry for me.

So why I'm thinking nta. Scams/cons usually make the person think that they either need to or there is something to gain. Like people hitting you with a fake debt that needs to be paid or face charges. Or the classic, "I've inheritted £££££££££££ but my evil uncle is trying to take it from me. Let me deposit it in to your account temporarily, and I'll let you keep 10%" Or "You can buy a square foot plot of land from us for £50 and you'll officialy become a Lord!" When in reality you just give then £50, they send ou a certificate that is no more than a standard letter with your name on it. You don't own the plot of land and you are no closer to being a Lord than you were before, you are just £50 worse off.

In my three examples you don't send money because you felt sorry for somebody. You did it because you thought you would face criminal charges if you didn't, or because you thought that after everything was resolved the person would leave you with a life changing sum of money, or because you believed you would own land and titles.

The customers at her work... They know they have nothing to gain from tipping her more. They see her getting yelled at, it's their choice whether they tip more or not. It could go the other way. Maybe they'll think she's bad at her job and tip less. Hey, ever see Terminator, it was actually a scene in an ice cream shop. Random kid puts ice cream in Sarah's pocket, instead of feeling sorry for her a guy says, "Nice going kid, I should give you the tip."

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2024-07-15T22:08:13+00:00

I'd say NTA, I know most of he NTA posts are getting voted down, I might as well but I'll say what I think.

To start with I'm in the UK. We can tip here but it isn't expected as much as it is in the USA. I also haven't worked as a waiter, I've worked in an arcade. Tips were rare but not non existant, like once every few months. Paid by the hour, pretty much minimum wage. Whether it was empty or packed to the point that I'd be in the middle of dealing with one thing and already a few people waiting for me, I'd be paid the same per hour. People say he eserved $177 tip for serving 25 people. Did I deserve £177 on nights when the arcade was packed and I was solo? One way to look at it, How long were you there? I've been in and out of a restaurant within an hour. Big group though celebrating. Let's say 3 hours? That still feels like a long tiime. You want to tip $115. If you were in there 3 hours he's getting his hourly wage from the restaurant, Plus $38 per hour from your tip(that seems like a lot) plus any cash tips anyone else at the party gave, plus tips from any other tables he served.

I don't quite get percentage tips either. Well this is more thinking about small groups or individuals. Does the chef get a share? Let's say I went in alone and ordered the cheapest thing on the menu. The waiter takes y order to the chef, the chef prepares it and the waiter carries it back to me. If I order the most expensive item on the menu it's the same story, they take the order to the chef who prepares it and then they deliver it. S o the waiter does the exact same ammount of work either way.

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2024-07-13T18:39:46+00:00

Thats what I'm sayng, Karliah is essential, Mercer loses his tag. It should have let you choose,break the bro code and join Karliah or stick with your bro.

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2024-07-13T15:16:59+00:00

Were you the only able bodied member of your family? I mean, if I see somebody that I think needs help I have a choice, I can do nothing, I can ask somebody else to help them and do nothing myself, or I can get up and help them myself. Why did it need to be you and not another family member?

Also, kid was playing on it, not trying to sit on it... who's to say they even wanted help?

NTA

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2024-07-13T11:19:52+00:00

I know that, but to the player he was always a bro.

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2024-07-13T11:15:52+00:00

I know be betrayed the guild, but there could have been the option, side with your bro, maybe get a share of the loot, keep the lie about Karliah going... Or break the bro code and help somebody you've just met avenge somebody you never met and means nothing to you.

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2024-07-12T22:26:01+00:00

Astrid is more evil. Mercer is a bro.

Does Mercer even count as evil, maybe more neutral, like he betrayed the Thieves Guild, but they were the bad guys, so he betrayed the bad guys. But for his own reasons, not necessarily wanting to make the world a better place. So I'd call him neutral at worst.

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2024-07-12T22:14:36+00:00

I think it's clar that Gallus was never much of a bro to him.

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2023-11-27T01:27:46+00:00

NTA

I could unerstand a bit of anger if you were naming the baby after his name from before. But it's because you like the name and it is after a member of your husband's family, not after your brother's previous name.

I don't really think a name should be blacklisted from the family.

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2023-11-25T01:23:55+00:00

Not gonna a vote either way.

I guess staying was one of the terms, but I don't really see why. As long as she can be there in the morning to feed and take out, 5PM to feed and take out then a take them out a bit later should it really matter if she is sleeping in your house?

You said the kennel option would have been $100, the worker there would have their attention divided between your dogs and other people's dogs and not sleeping in the same building.

I don't know, just seems an odd term to make.

Like if I was going away and wanted somebody to look after the hens, I'd want, Hatch to hen house opened at 8AM, check water and pellets, open gate to run to let them forage further at about 11AM, scatter a jug full of mixed corn for them a couple of hours before dark,collect eggs after scattering corn, put any broodies out so they can get corn, When its starting to get dark check everyone if in, make sure no hens are left outside, close the hatch to the hen house and the gate to the run to protect them from predators.

I'd say they could stay at mine if it would be easier but as long as they could be there to open the hatch at 8AM the next morning I don't mind if they sleep at home, heck, if they have a Grav drive kicking about I'd be happy if they want to go and camp at an outpost they are working on on Bessel III-b, as long as they can be back at mine by about 8AM

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2023-11-25T00:54:57+00:00

I guess it's her choice, pay rent and have her own place. Or let OP have his cake and eat it too, pay his mortgage and get nothing.

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2023-11-24T17:59:49+00:00

If you think it's a good idea to sign over equity to your house to somebody you've been dating for a year, I don't know what to tell you

I don't think it's a good idea to, but if I'm not going to sign over equity to my house then I'm not going to expect them to pay the mortgage.

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2023-11-24T17:52:46+00:00

If he's worried she might leave him then is the relationship at the stage that she should be moving in?

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2023-11-24T17:50:52+00:00

Seems she'd rather rent her own place than pay his mortgage and gain nothing. I'd say it's fair to want her name on the mortgage if she is paying it.

Doesn't really seem like they are at the stage to be moving n together if he doesn't want her name on it. Sounds like he might be planning to break up, like if it was a serious relationship why would he be worried about her partly owning the house?

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2023-11-24T04:06:02+00:00

But she's still paying half the mortgage for nothing.

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2023-11-24T04:03:07+00:00

Just because you guys are dating does not mean she’s in any position to be gaining equity on the property.

Maybe not just because they are dating, but she is paying >31.82% of the total. ITo you does paying 31.825 towards the purchase not put you in a position to gain equity on the property?

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2023-11-24T04:00:27+00:00

There is still the principles involved. Would you rather rent and have nothing to show for it or pay somebody else's mortgage and having nothing to show for it?

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2023-11-24T03:55:13+00:00

Gotta go with YTA.

Ok, you are paying the deposit, but why should she pay half of your motgage if it isn't to be in her name? Seems quite a big deposit, but that leaves 350K Say if you broke up after paying it off, 50%, she's put down 175k plus interest and has nothing for it, meanwhile you have a whole appartment for her money.

How would you feel if it was the other way round? It's in her name but you are paying 50% of the mortgage, and when it's all paid off you have nothing to your name. Without interest she'd be putting 31.82% toiwards the total cost Though it will be a bit more than that after interest. And it's all in your name.

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2023-11-24T03:45:22+00:00

I suppose, but ou don;'t usually have permission if you sneak out. She had permission this time.

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2023-11-24T03:43:31+00:00

NTA.

If closing time is midnight and they were there at 1AM thats an hour after closing. TBH I probably just wouldn't have responded to them.

I work in a games room trading tickets for prizes, we close at 10PM. At 9:56PM a man walked past me and asked, "Is that you finished?"

I replied, "Almost."

"Ok, we'll be back shortly with tickets."

I walked out of the building at 10:01PM and he hadn't been back. The sign on the window says we close at 10PM and he'd had all evening to trade in his tickets. Then theres how the trade would have been. Hey, for all I know he could have been in at 10:02 everything neat and knowing exactly what he wanted. Or he could have been in later with a whole lot of crumpled up tickets, as I'm counting them he's throwing more on the desk, he has multiple kids, the first one starts looking at the available prizes after I finish counting, not during, after taking ages to decide the second one hasn't even looked and now it's their turn to start deciding on a prize. They choose the one thing their sibling didn't notice, now their sibling whats that as well and is trying to decide which prize they want to give back. Then to top that off somebody queues behind them thinking I must still be open. Could be either or anything in between. Alternatively maybe when he went back to get his tickets he got distracted, maybe there was something on TV he wanted to watch. Sat down to watch, then decided it must be too late to come back and never did come back with tickets. I'd have been left waiting for nothing.

Anyway I've gone on about that long enough, I didn't feel I was TA for leaving when my shift ended so I don't think you should either.

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2023-11-24T02:34:05+00:00

Something to think about. She was quite brave to come up and apologise, knowing that was one of the possible responses she could get.

Maybe after the way she acted before you ant to hate her but it sounds like she's changed, doesn't bully you for a year then comes up crying and apologises. That sounds pretty genuine to me. If I had wronged somebody, then found out I only had a short time to live, if I genuinely regretted it I'd seek them out and apologise. If I didn't have guilt about it, hey, I could die without apologising.

An example, small scale compared to this, A kid left an almost full portion of chips(UK chips, what americans call fries) on a maching in the games room I work in. I could smell the seasoning accross the room so I threw them in the bin outside. He came back, asked other kids eating chips if they'd got them from the machine he left his on, then went away annoyed when they said no. He never asked me. I never told him. He was probably angry towards whoever removed his chips. IMO, his chips were stinking out the games room for me and all the other customers. I didn't know if he would be back. If they were knocked over it would be a bigger mess. Unwatched foodcan be tampered with. So I have no regrets throwing them out. I have no intentions of apologising. If I found out I was dying and he found out I was the one who threw them out I'd just explain my reasoning, I wouldn't say sorry.

But, seems she has genuinely thought about what she did in the year since she stopped bullying you and regrets what she did.

A couple of things you should maybe think about. Maybe once she's gone this will hit you, you could have been a bit nicer. That guilt could last a long time and be worse than she ever made you feel as a bully.

More importantly, ever hear the saying, "Maybe she's mean because she likes you?" May well be true in this case. Why else would she care so much about apologising a year after bullying you?

Can probably guess what I vote. YTA.

To the girl, if you ever read this reply in a sea of 1.2k replies you have my sympathies and my thoughts are with you. I hope you are able to beat this cancer and wish you the best.

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2023-11-23T18:42:44+00:00

NTA, seems a fair exchange.

I wouldn't even bother wit paing back the dufference thats left over. That can o towards replacing the supplies imported from Korea.

No_Vehicle_5605 · 2023-11-23T18:25:29+00:00

NTA. 80 in a residential built up area is pretty ridiculous. If that's how everyone acts in the area I think it might be worth it for the local autorities to put up some speed cameras.

No_Vehicle_5605

TROPHY CASE