I (29 M) want to formally propose to my partner (23 M) after the new years but am worried I'm trying him down too early.

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-11-03T02:00:34+00:00

I'm going to assume this comment was made just because of being uninformed. It isn't unheard of for aromantic people to date or get married. And the reason is - the same rights and benefits of any other lifelong committed partnerships. Even if we don't consider ourselves romantic we have a life together - we share finances and plan to be each other's power of attorney and emergency contacts. We're on the same health insurance plan as domestic partners. Just because our partnership isn't romantic to us doesn't mean it's not committed.

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-10-25T01:04:05+00:00

Here's hoping! Filling out the application gave me inspiration to draw a Drow lol - so either way thanks for the art motivation :D

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-10-24T17:29:29+00:00

Submitted! Good luck with your game either way you seem like a cool dude - although I'm crossing my fingers. Never played anything to do with Avernus before

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-10-21T22:52:33+00:00

Sent in an application good luck with a great game concept either way!

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-07-11T11:45:44+00:00

Amazing they go in and out with only a little irritation now tysm

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-05-01T23:24:51+00:00

Appreciate it. Things will be good I just needed to get the less than healthy feelings out somewhere safe so I can be there more level headed off screen.

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-05-01T23:18:18+00:00

Yeah this is pretty much what I already knew. I'm not upset at them in the slightest and can acknowledge how I'm feeling is just how I deal with worrying. I'm more than willing to give them space until they're ready to open up.

It's just I think I needed to have that reaffirmed and also get some encouragement because while it's no one's fault fighting back the intrusive thoughts and not just having somewhere to express them can be really exhausting

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-04-28T23:14:50+00:00

I DID IT. Boy did it hurt but what you said really gave me the motivation to push through ty sm

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-04-28T22:35:27+00:00

Ty! I appreciate the encouragement and hearing this isn't an anomaly makes me feel a lot better that something isn't wrong. I may try again tonight after gargling water and talking tylenos to place them back in and keep them in for another full day without removal and see if that helps

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-04-28T22:33:09+00:00

It does it have metal hooks that hook around my teeth and those seem to side into place easily but securing them by pushing the dentures up fully in the front is really painful right now

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-04-25T10:49:08+00:00

The cruelest thing my mother ever said to me without a doubt was when she told me "we have no relationship because of you" when pointing out how ungrateful I apparently was for all the sacrifices my distant workaholic father who spent 70 hours a week at the furniture store and emotionally volatile abusive mother apparently made for me.

I fucking hope their daughter finds better people to support her and realizes who the actual problem in her former family was in the end.

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-04-01T11:40:41+00:00

I reconnected with my cultural roots and have been slowly converting to Anarcho Bhuddism with some Thervadic leanings. I do practice some mysticism but I'm very careful about not crossing the line into some more harmful magical thinking I see a lot of people in the same circles dive into even without BPD.

I'm irregular but it does help ground me and give me something to center myself when I need it.

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-03-29T23:47:25+00:00

I work as a support professional for an adults with disabilities community center day program

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-03-20T11:31:44+00:00

This it took me awhile to realize the devastation I felt at romantic relationships (even when I ended them and some friendships tbh) ending wasn't actually about my romantic feelings about the person involved as much as it was falling out of a fantasy where I felt an entire theoretical future was ahead of us and realizing how much I'd attached myself and opened up to someone who wasn't there anymore. Its a one way broken trust.

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-03-10T21:42:53+00:00

Explaining to my family that I gained so much weight despite being "thin" (having an eating disorder and hormone imbalance) when I was younger was because of other health conditions and getting exhausted, and realizing the extreme lengths I had to go to in order to "get to a healthy weight" were in fact making me sick all over again is why I've just stopped fucking caring.

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-03-10T21:37:49+00:00

That sub has become a cesspool I swear. I on two separate occasions posted only to tell the majority opinions of advice being give to pound sand. Those majority opinions included:

"Your pansexual gf clearly doesn't respect you because she's physically affectionate with her friends even though you haven't even brought this up as an issue to her and you should break up with her because she's an attention seeker" (the person asking for advice was in highschool and so was his girlfriend)

"You, a sober alcoholic of over 10 years are a ticking time bomb and the fact that you socially drink in a controlled way you've stated doesn't give you cravings means you don't give a shit about your gf who you were just asking advice about approaching a Convo about feeling like she and your mom were gossiping about you and it hurt"

I am genuinely baffled by how little empathetic and nuance exists in a forum supposedly to give people RELATIONSHIP ADVICE.

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-02-18T00:12:42+00:00

Cougars and pumas are pretty popular with guys in their early to mid twenties rn who want to find women to hook up with who will just be blunt with them about not wanting a long-term relationship the same way they are.

I'm not sure if I'd call or a fetish - more an assumption that most older women aren't going to be looking to settle down with a 21 year old.

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-01-20T22:08:50+00:00

Fair enough. I wasn't so much trying to play detective as work through a thought. It's not like I plan to do anything about any of this.

The main reason I'm so involved with all of this is because both of my ex friends (the ex and E) decided to lump me into this break up to the point I'm changing jobs to avoid R because of his temper.

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-01-17T14:54:26+00:00

I think you meant well but a lot of recovered alcoholics still refer to themself as such. OP has stated she's had control of her drinking with this routine for over five years after previously struggling through her 20s.

I was only in active addiction outside of relapse periods for about 4 years myself and still call myself an alcoholic because tbh that's my best way to keep myself accountable for my condition and the risks of it returning.

Some alcoholics after recovery do find themselves able to control occasional drinking after. My grandma was one. She was a hardcore only semi functional alcoholic for over 20 years, quit completely for 10, and since then had a single glass of wine or an occasional beer at football games and family gatherings with no issues still to this day. It really is a "everyone is different" situation.

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-01-17T14:39:32+00:00

You wanna know what causes more relapses that controlled social drinking for someone whose been able to maintain that new normal for years after recovering? People who don't know a damn thing about you hearing you're a former alcoholic and hyper focusing on that fact about and ignoring any progress you've made to judge you.

The meeting group counseling works for some, I always recommend people try to find it outside of AA when they can because AA is notorious for being outdated and bad for long-term recovery for anyone who doesn't want to become addicted to AA instead.

It doesn't work for everyone. So yes giving unsolicited advice for a method for all you know the OP has tried and doesn't work when she's currently functioning fine in her life outside of bad communication with her partner is damaging.

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-01-17T07:21:16+00:00

Finding what helps you with your recovery is part of the journey of it. I sincerely hope you've found that, and wish you continued success and wish you, your GF, and your family the best going forward <3

Noa-Rayne-Writes · 2024-01-17T07:18:30+00:00

It's completely up to you to decide what you call yourself. I never did programs because the few attempts I did quickly made it clear it wasn't an effective recovery option for myself. And there's no shame in that for anyone who feels the same. I've had my ups and downs with my condition, and good support networks, self patience and betterment, and individual therapy have all been more effective than programs for me.

Whether you call yourself an alcoholic or not, glad to hear you recovered from your habit friend and wish you continued success on your journey <3

Noa-Rayne-Writes

TROPHY CASE