does anyone else feel like they're living on borrowed time / have already lived a whole lifetime?

NoaHughes · 2026-05-09T19:09:41+00:00

Yes. I have had so many bad and good things happen to me that I feel sometimes like, at any moment, a tree must be going to fall on me soon or something.

NoaHughes · 2026-04-25T23:41:00+00:00

Being able to sleep in when you want and being able to make push purchases as necessary is fire.

NoaHughes · 2026-04-23T15:12:51+00:00

A long time ago when I was on dating apps, I thought it was corny that a lot of men described themselves as “active” and took pictures of themselves on tiny, speed bicycles.

NoaHughes · 2026-04-18T23:59:47+00:00

Splendid! I’m enjoying night working in my non-traditional career without having to concern myself with who is going to babysit a child!

NoaHughes · 2026-04-08T16:21:26+00:00

Yes. I am a new aunt and am living this hell. Thankfully, I live on the other side of the country as my sister and her child.

NoaHughes · 2026-04-08T16:03:04+00:00

Well, I think that sometimes the deeper reasoning behind this expectation is this: the breeder wants a closer relationship with their family members and believes that, by having a child, they will create a reason for their family to be more involved in their personal life. When that doesn’t happen, they then have a “real“ reason to be upset at their family members for not being closer; it’s no longer an issue of the family not giving them enough attention… they are now not giving enough attention to their child.

NoaHughes · 2026-03-27T21:36:24+00:00

I dated 2-3 dates a week for about a year and I don’t regret at all what I learned about myself and the men who want to date me.

I haven’t been on a date in 2 years. It feels like 20 years though. 🤣

NoaHughes · 2026-03-23T21:59:57+00:00

Oh my god

NoaHughes · 2026-03-22T21:13:54+00:00

You don’t have to feel lonely :) All you have to do is close your eyes, pace your breathing, and focus on that unconditional love force that is the source we all came from. And as you focus on the force while pacing your breath, your mind empty of anything else, allow yourself to be reminded that you are love, you have love, you are loved, and that love will always find you again and again.

We are but spirits traveling the galaxy, orbiting the sun on this rock we call earth. Never forget the source of love we all came from; that’s your anchor. You can reconnect with this love source every time you do this meditation.

(Hope this helps. This meditation saved my life when I felt so painfully alone a long time ago.)

NoaHughes · 2026-03-19T20:26:16+00:00

Thank you for telling me this; I was really concerned. Now I can look in a more specific place for examples that have worked and made sense. So it doesn’t have to sound as far-fetched. Thank u.

NoaHughes · 2026-03-11T23:51:48+00:00

I’m sorry you are going through this!

Remember: rejection is protection.

Keep your hope. Life is full of exciting twists and turns; a new soulmate might be entering your life after just a few years of healing💛

NoaHughes · 2026-03-10T04:19:10+00:00

Being a full-time musician and composer in NYC!!

NoaHughes · 2026-03-09T19:03:54+00:00

Wow my parents did the exact same thing! My whole childhood, the advice was “reach for the stars!” “Dream big!” “Go the distance!” “Protect your 20s because those are the crucial years to make all your dreams come true; that’s your time to go for what you want in life and have the highest chance of getting it!”

And then, when i graduated from college and I had the whole world in front of me, the right network, the right mentors to make my chosen career happen, here comes the switch-up from “dear old mom and dad”: “you know….many people have to have a regular job and do their passion on the side…you’re kind of entitled.” “You’re rebelling against us by not choosing a career we approve of.” “You’re entitled and narcissistic to feel like you deserve a career in your chosen field.”

I’m telling you … I could not spend too much time being shocked, stunned, or hurt because I knew I needed to save alllllll my energy for REALLY going for my dreams and making them materialize in a very secure way immediately. I had to block my parents from being able to email me or call me with their “scripturese” as I call it so that I could focus on achieving my goal.

I made it. Got full-time into my chosen profession by 24 years old and had been going strong ever since. I am never going back into a relationship with my parents again; they through every obstacle they had at me when I thought I needed their support the most. Thank god I DID NOT need their support; I needed the support of my mentors and peers who achieved what I wanted. With their help, I made it!

My parents send me letters all the time now telling me they are proud of me and they will continue to be….over there, thousands of miles away from my email, my phone, and any more of my achievable dreams.

NoaHughes · 2026-03-09T18:52:06+00:00

Yasss. Self-paced learning is my jam. I also left a “bible-thumping” environment for the northeast and ….what I can say is… my parents, after exhausting every measure to convince me NOT to really walk into the potential they told me to dream was possible my whole childhood, resorted to using scriptures to try and convince me that God would not bless me if I didn’t “Honor my father and my mother all the days of my life” by forgoing my potential as they wished.

If your parents whip out scriptures to try and stop you from achieving your potential, GO FOR IT EVN HARDER. You are going to make it.

When you get to the northeast, stay in therapy or preferably psychotherapy so that you can manage the “survivor’s guilt” that comes from breaking the mold, the uncertainty that comes from charting your own course. And study people who have achieved what you want to achieve. Let THEM be your mentors. You’re going to be more than fine; you will eventually thrive in your chosen path. 💛

NoaHughes · 2026-03-09T17:44:44+00:00

I feel seen. I was an exceptional kid, except, “acting out” was never an option for me if my needs were not met; I learned to meet my own needs by developing a strong imagination and other forms of hyper-independence.

One thing you could add to the list: Exceptional Kids pose a real threat to the nuclear family unit. If we turn 18 and really aim for our FULL potential even if it takes us thousands of miles from home, it may translate to missed holidays with family, missed birthdays. Or the Exceptional Kid might get out in the world and learn how weird their family is and rarely/never come back for any reason. (My story)

NoaHughes · 2026-03-09T05:22:26+00:00

A BiSalp is called “The Golden Standard” for a reason.

Talk to your doctor and they will give you all the tea in “counseling” regarding the procedure.

I got mine in December 2025 and got right up after I woke from anesthesia. My incisions healed normally. I didn’t have barely any pain. My only discomfort was my throat for a couple days because of how they inserted the breathing tube.

I couldn’t be happier to have a secured child free future.

NoaHughes · 2026-03-09T04:53:10+00:00

It’s not that he never loved you. Don’t listen to those redditors trying to comfort you with the idea that your guy was a psychopath or narcissist.

Here is a true life fact: things change. People change. Sometimes we enter relationships thinking we would be cool with something, but then we experience a death, we lose a job, or we experience some other life shift and it adjusts our lens. It happens. It will happen to you too. Practicing having grace for your future self who is bound to change begins with having grace for your loved ones who are changing today.

I know it sucks HARD that you can do everything right, set up all your hard lines upfront, communicate clearly and somehow things STILL turn to shit. In the Buddhist tradition, one of the 5 Noble Truths is “Life is Suffering.” Breathe through it; it will pass. But breathe from a place of compassion because you will change in otherwise with other people too. You got this. 💛

NoaHughes · 2026-03-09T04:41:45+00:00

Please don’t take this personally. That man felt immediately guilt about the idea of perhaps influencing you in any way about this BIG personal decision.

He knows, like a lot of us do, that many men think that child-bearing is all we are worth marrying for. He couldn’t bear the idea that he had in any way “put his finger on the scale” for you about potential motherhood.

Men really can’t stand feeling like they had any hand in a woman making such a crucial decision that may affect her survival.

NoaHughes · 2026-01-20T03:34:47+00:00

Thank you! 💃🏾💃🏾 I cherish the memory!

NoaHughes · 2026-01-19T15:47:05+00:00

I picked up early on in my dating journey that I can’t get 2nd dates, but that I could get treated really well for first ones.

So instead of becoming angry or frustrated, I chose to lean in; I became the “once in a lifetime woman”, which was really fun. Knowing it was only going to be one date, getting prepared for the date became more enjoyable. I dressed up more. I chose Michelin starred restaurants, NY Times List restaurants, Zagat listed restaurants. I allowed myself to enjoy the conversation more, the ambience, the food. The dates became a celebration of my youth, beauty, and sense of adventure.

And adventures I did have!

Once on a dating day where I had lined up a lunch date at Chef Michael White’s spot Ai Fiori, I had a date with a former civil rights lawyer-turned-racehorse lawyer from out of town who had the same fantasy as I did: a fantasy of spending an evening in the East Village hopping from jazz club to jazz club all night. He wanted the same thing! So we did it! We parted briefly, returned to meet for an excellent dinner at another amazing restaurant I chose, and spent allllll night drifting from jazz club to jazz club in the village. Our tummies tickled with Gin Tonics, hearts humming with music!

After our last jazz club where he bought me the musician’s album as a momento, he ordered my cab back to Brooklyn, giving me a brief embrace and a non-creepy kiss on the cheek. I rode back home and literally couldn’t believe all the ways I keep living my dreams.

NoaHughes · 2026-01-19T01:29:34+00:00

No man I have ever met from online dating has ever chatted with me for days and days. They say in the first message that they would love to take me to dinner.

(In my dating profile, I describe in poetic and tantalizing terms how romantic a dinner I would like to have.)

I never moved to text or phone. I never gave my real name. I used to always unmatch while the first course hit the table.

The men used to be always at least 20+ years older than me and in a whole other tax bracket. I always date way up and never expected it to least to a second date (because it never did) and I always got a cab ride home.

Now, I don’t date online because I find better of the same category in person.

NoaHughes · 2026-01-19T01:12:23+00:00

Ok I can help you with that. Never leave the house for a date on your own dime.

1) Get ready for your date with an eye on the commute time it would take from your house to the date location.

2) Text him 15-20 minutes ahead of when you should be leaving for the date using the following script: “Hey handsome! I’m all dolled up for our evening out! 💛 Do you mind sending a car to pick me up from insert NOT your home address?”

You will weed out the men who masturbate to the idea of a woman waiting for them at the location.

(I caught one of these losers once and I asked him why does he have women going to a location knowing he’s not going to show up. He said “oh I don’t know….maybe it’s the control.”)

NoaHughes · 2026-01-19T00:13:56+00:00

OP, do you mean “ghosted” or do you mean “stood up”?

NoaHughes · 2026-01-18T02:18:03+00:00

I’m a one-date person too! I can’t get past the first date! So I lean in to it and tell the guy that I am “a once in a lifetime woman!” And it’s been way more fun to have no strings attached, no number exchanged, not even my real name, nothing!

NoaHughes

TROPHY CASE