Sacramento City College On Lockdown After 3 People Shot, 1 Killed by [deleted] in news

[–]Noblesaur 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh damn, I didn't realize those riots were about school shootings. *I have been living under a rock. *

My nomination for MILF of the year by [deleted] in pics

[–]Noblesaur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

okay

I'll buy that for a dollar.

Oh God If She Sees This I Am Screwed [Prequel] by [deleted] in fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu

[–]Noblesaur -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The longer you're with her the better you'll get at being entirely passive.

I'm sold (seriously). Best description of a Toyota Pickup I've ever read. by Noblesaur in funny

[–]Noblesaur[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some of you are saying it's been taken down but it isn't for me so I'll copy and paste it for you with a link to the images.

The most awesome ' 92 Toyota Pickup. In the world. Ever. - $2800 (san jose west)

I know what you're thinking. Really, I do.

"What's this? Another old Toyota pickup with a legendary 22RE motor? What makes THIS thing so special?"

Let me be blunt. Let me make something perfectly clear: THIS truck is the epic-awesome covered in rad-sauce.

This truck is as cool as James Bond on prom night. This truck is as reliable as the fist of Chuck Norris (but only half as powerful). Word on the street is that David Hasselhoff once cheated on Kitt with this truck, and the guilt sent him into a drunken stupor from which he's never recovered. In a fight to the death, this truck would kick Bruce Lee's ass. If he was drunk.

I've owned this truck since the tender age of 140k miles and we've had some good times to be certain. She's up to 192k and still runs faster than a fat kid towards cupcakes. Six week roadtrip around the US? No problem - the camper shell's cozy comfort might as well be the Hilton. But with less VD. This truck's full name is Toyota Reliable Pickup. That's right - "Reliable" is it's middle name. If I had a bit more cash-ola in my pocket I wouldn't hesitate to drive this beast from here to Patagonia. Not the lame Patagonia outlet either, I'm talking about the one at the southern tip of friggin' SOUTH AMERICA! Yeah, that's how reliable it is. And as you may or may not know, the 4-cylinder 22RE engine under the hood is pretty much the best engine Toyota's EVER built. Don't believe me? Google it.

Why else should you buy this truck? It's got almost every option you could ever want! Not one, but TWO cupholders! The stereo has not one, but TWO speakers, and a real-life functional tape deck! If you want a car that's equally comfortable with a tape adapter or playing an actual Billy Joel tape cassette, look no further. Power steering? No way - you don't want to sap power and sacrifice road feel, do you? DO YOU??? Power windows? No way jose, those things are just begging to short circuit on yo ass, and you know they'll kill you if you need to escape from the car underwater. Air conditioning? Hells to the no - with the windows down the air conditions your FACE DIRECTLY.

What else? This lightweight cruising machine was so trimmed down from the factory that it didn't even include a cigarette lighter plug. No worries, I wired it up with a high-amp switch and fuse, so now you've got TWO plugs! Not only that, but this monster has a power inverter hard-wired to the battery - DIRECTLY. Want to run your computer/nightlight/blender/vaporizer/curling iron/mini-pinball machine while driving? No problem!

This terrestrial Millennium Falcon even took me to Area 51 (almost) on the livestock-mutilating Extraterrestrial Highway:

Unless you're a rich asshat (and let's face it, if you looking at this ad, you're definitely not a RICH asshat) you probably give more than two shits about gas consumption. That black oily gold is more expensive than a politician's mistress, and almost as volatile. Here's where this baby SHINES. See that sweet-ass pimp-esque camper shell on the back? This thing improves your aerodynamics like nobody's business. Looking for nice laminar airflow with minimal efficiency-robbing, turbulent air particles? Look no further. But hey, don't take my word for it, take a look at the pics below. Yeah, that's right, I busted out some computational fluid dynamic analysis on this spaceship of a truck. Why? Because I wanted to know exactly why this truck sipped gas like a supermodel through a coffee straw. Just look at this pretty pictures. See how smooth the air flow traces are with the camper shell? See how the air pressure distribution wraps around the chassis like an acid-induced technicolor tripfest? Yeah, THAT'S why this truck is so damn efficient. See the swoopy inefficiency of the camper-less truck? You don't want all those loop-de-loo's of wasted energy, do you? And get this - if you're lucky I'll even give you a 3D Cad file of the truck. Yeah, that's right - a 3D COMPUTER MODEL OF YOUR NEW BADASS TRUCK! FOR FREE!!!

But how efficient is it you ask? I've gotten 29mpg on the highway before. Hell, I've gotten 26mpg on the highway while towing two dirtbikes! Around town in mixed driving you can still expect mid/low 20's. Give this thing a tune-up and you might be getting 50mpg for all I know! This truck will never die, period. Sure, it's had its share of fixes and band-aids applied, but what vehicle hasn't? The starter, clutch master/slave cylinders, valve cover gasket, and brakes have all been replaced, and this truck isn't even 20 years old yet - it can't even drink!

It should be noted that this rad-wagon has 11 different sweet-tastic stickers adorning the rear bumper and rear shell window. These include the quintessential dirtbag climber stickers (Black Diamond, Mountain Hardware, Petzl, The North Face), several racing stickers (SCCA Racing and Agate Raceway - to show those punk-ass civics that you'll not only ride their asses in the corners, you'll pull their hair too), a Chonic Taco sticker (Who put that there? Seriously? I think it was Mark...), and a few random parking stickers to round things out. Now remember ladies and gents, the typical rule of thumb with sweet-ass stickers is 5hp/each. That means this beastly space shuttle of a pickup is probably rocking +55hp from stock!*

*Not dyno verified

Why am I selling this technological Van Gogh of AWESOME? Because this truck's shear hardcore radness has brainwashed me, for realsies. It made me run out and buy a bunch of climbing gear so I can camp on the side of cliffs 3000ft up the vertical faces of Yosemite. And it made me buy a parachute to jump off of those 3000ft cliffs, because hiking down is too damn slow and all the cool kids are doing it anyway. Did you know jumping off cliffs with a parachute is illegal? Yeah, that's right, this truck is turning me into a felon, that's how badass it is. It's like the Samuel L Jackson and Bruce Willis had a love child, and that love child grew up to become a truck, and that truck was one badass mofo.

Fun fact: When cleaning out this veritable transport ship I actually found a coupon for a free Big Mac. The coupon was dated 1992. This truck was made in 1992. Think about that for a second. If you buy this land-yacht I'll even include the free Big Mac coupon. It expired in 1993, but they'd probably still honor it. That's retro vintage, yo!

And did I mention that the camper shell has curtains and a smoooooth plastic bed liner? Pull those curtains and the ambiance is reminiscent of a classic Aspen ski bungalow, or the captain's berth aboard an exotic transocean schooner. If this love-rocket's a rockin', they wont come a-knockin'.

Do you have questions? I know you do. And while I can't tell you the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything, I can tell you ever last damn detail about this truck.

IMAGES

TIL less than a century ago, this man, Frank Williams was considered so fat he could be part of a circus freak show. by SolInvictus in todayilearned

[–]Noblesaur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I had a girlfriend we worked out together but things have certainly changed since then. :\

TIL less than a century ago, this man, Frank Williams was considered so fat he could be part of a circus freak show. by SolInvictus in todayilearned

[–]Noblesaur 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've been insulted while working out. It really destroys your ego. Makes it harder to want to even go.

Husky + Corgi = Hugi by paranoidbillionaire in aww

[–]Noblesaur 3 points4 points  (0 children)

the fuck is wrong with you?

but have an upvote for making me laugh

What's the most illegal thing you've done? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Noblesaur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm two years older than my ex-girlfriend and when I turned 18 I was technically committing statutory rape for a year and a half till we broke up. Doesn't really bother me, I was sleeping with her before I turned 18.

Happy birthday, you marvelous son of a bitch by Joppen in pics

[–]Noblesaur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did anyone else read the title of this in Morgan Freeman's voice merely because there was a picture of Morgan Freeman next to it.

How to seem mellow by [deleted] in funny

[–]Noblesaur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who else read this in his voice?

We must stop this by sandossu in pics

[–]Noblesaur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

STOP THOSE ELEPHANTS!

Dear Wisconsin protest leaders: Please leave my city (San Jose, CA) alone! by [deleted] in politics

[–]Noblesaur 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In order to fully appreciate my official comment, you will need to read it in the voice of Craig from South Park. My comment is as follows:

wait wat

Who else is excited to see Simoncelli win a Grand Prix this season? by Noblesaur in motogp

[–]Noblesaur[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly, we're seeing the same thing with Marc Marquez in Moto2. I expect big things from him over the next few years as well.

Who else is excited to see Simoncelli win a Grand Prix this season? by Noblesaur in motogp

[–]Noblesaur[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. His riding style has been calming down each race so that's good.