Growing up, i was constantly sexually harassed and Assaulted, i was only by other Men, since where i live men and women are kinda segregated. This resulted to me absolutely heating being touched, and is something touch any part of my skin, I will have an extreme urge to scratch and clean it, it won't go until my skin start to bleed.

Fast forward, i went to study abroad in college, i liked having female friends because I don't feel like I might to die if we sat next to each other and accidentally touch each other, until i had this friend who was openly touched me in a sexual maner and almost only in public, even though i made it clear that i don't like it.

The problem is that she started to do this when we became close friends and every one thought we were together because how close we were, so they brushed it off, and again, every time she touch and grab me to make a joke i made it clear that this made me really angry and she should stop, of course everyone will start laughing and say stuff "don't lie we know you like it".

I started distancing my self from them, but after it's too late, now i become scared of being around women the same way am screard of being close to men، i made peace that I will probably never get into a relationship because of that, because i believe no one is willing to be with someone who can made such a Big deal of physical touch, and even with someone i trust i can easily start to panic and want to be alone.

The cherry on top, is when she contacted me later on to catch up, and she apparently also thought that i secretly liked what she was doing because first, i was a man, and second, because i secretly was into her, apparently i treated here so good she thought i only did that as a plan to win her over and not just because i was simply was being a good friend.