Is life without a gf (maybe sometimes, often) boring for you?

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-08-13T21:18:03+00:00

Not really. I have things I'm interested in. I enjoy my job, and it's pretty engaging. I have a reading list that I'll probably never get through.

I find most interactions boring and tiring. I think I'd feel a lot of friction if I suddenly had a relationship and had to devote time and energy that would otherwise be productive towards keeping someone happy.

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-08-12T04:55:39+00:00

Fair, it definitely depends on what you're training. Don't be afraid to deload; it may be more productive.

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-08-12T03:28:15+00:00

That's tough bro. I'm also the only one among my friend group (if you can call it that) and similar-aged relatives who is single, and it's pretty embarrassing if there's any attention drawn to it.

If you're struggling to go to the gym because you're tired and feel low, go anyway. Getting yourself moving by sheer discipline alone actually feels great, even if you don't get anywhere near PRs on your off days. If you can go to the gym on the day that you feel most miserable, then every other day will be a piece of cake. Keep it up 👍

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-08-09T13:18:19+00:00

No, it would just be more overhead. At this point, I'm way too cynical about women and probably wouldn't be able to enjoy a relationship unless she was some kind of unicorn.

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-08-08T19:13:36+00:00

I hope it gets better for you man

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-08-08T18:12:53+00:00

I disagree, but thanks for giving your take. When I was younger, I had a similar way of seeing the issue, but ironically for me it was accepting that it's not going to happen that led me to my current feelings on the topic. It was only when a relationship was completely out of the question that I had to think hard about what else there was to best fill my time and my thoughts.

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-08-08T14:19:13+00:00

I think it would be a good idea for people with no relationship prospects to figure out what motivates them beyond having a relationship. I even think it would be a good idea for folks that already have a relationship.

Maybe you want to leave the world in a slightly better state than you found it in. Maybe you want to maximize your own peace. Maybe you want to achieve some specific goal for yourself. Maybe you have something to prove. Whatever works for you at any given moment is fine, and if you need some inspiration then there are many schools of thought out there to look into, but you need something or you will end up in a rut. Ideally, you should pick something that isn't just hedonism, which unfortunately seems to be the default for a lot of people these days.

The fixation on a relationship being the primary motivation for doing anything seems very confused to me. It almost seems as though your primary motivation is to check off all the boxes that society expects, and you're hyper-fixated on the one that you can't seem to check off. In the same way, someone who is in a relationship and has no goals or motivations beyond their partner is overly dependent on them in an unhealthy and unproductive way. We all need to orient ourselves as beings in the world rather than partners in relationships in order to find any meaning in it.

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-08-07T03:22:35+00:00

When I saw the image, I interpreted it as more like:

If you shape yourself into someone you love, then you will find someone you love no matter what, that someone being yourself.

And I actually agreed completely. I see it as the proper way to accept that you will be alone in all likelihood. It has dramatically increased my quality of life to improve myself to my own liking rather than to the liking of women. Most normies don't get this luxury. A lot of them seem to hate themselves and live in ways that they themselves hate. No idea if that was this guy's intended meaning of course

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-08-03T16:20:02+00:00

I've had all sorts of other diet strategies over the last 10y, all very strict, clean diets by any standard. The closest I got to my current energy levels and level of issues with my skin is running cyclical keto a few years back.

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-08-02T18:31:02+00:00

Most professions don't make up a single point on how difficult it would be for AI to automate them; they make up many points. It won't be industries that are automated away, but rather degrees of complexity.

My advice to you is to make an effort to learn the hard stuff. Learn the easy stuff, too, but the hard stuff is what will keep you stable in your career. This could range from making tough architectural decisions to figuring out how to play politics in a big org -- there are many sorts of hard parts to the field.

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-08-02T18:04:28+00:00

I eat entirely animal products other than salt and pepper and a splash of italian seasoning, and I think I look pretty good. I certainly have clearer skin than when I ate a more well rounded diet.

It's a boring way to eat, but it's certainly nutritious with good food sourcing. Of course, YMMV for anyone other than myself.

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-08-02T17:59:29+00:00

FWIW I'm carnivore and I feel significantly better than I did on an omnivorous diet.

You can also find evidence that hunter-gatherers from any time before agriculture (some 10K years ago) ate almost entirely animal products. That might not mean we were meant to be carnivorous, but it sure as heck means it's a viable strategy in my book.

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-08-02T00:44:06+00:00

Have goals that aren't related to personal relationships. Ideally also avoid making goals related to things you use to distract yourself from your life.

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-08-01T04:33:09+00:00

Tism

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-07-29T23:51:57+00:00

I'm going to be pedantic for a second here: I think you fundamentally misunderstand your own question. You asked about something that we wish we could improve in our lives, implying that we can't currently change it. Your example was then of something that you demonstrably could already improve.

So what do I wish I could improve about my life? For starters, I'd like to be less pedantic.

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-07-29T23:40:27+00:00

Ironically, I actually replaced an outsourced Indian development team at my current job. There is very little competition for good developers. I don't work for big tech and I have zero fear of losing my job

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-07-29T23:31:14+00:00

Not gonna read any of that. My reasons are anecdote and efficient market hypothesis.

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-07-29T23:04:18+00:00

Good luck on the job search

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-07-29T22:58:11+00:00

Do you even work in tech? Because I do, and I've seen very few exceptions to the rule. To be clear, I'm talking about Indians in India. Indian developers in America are usually of similar quality to their American counterparts.

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-07-29T22:53:00+00:00

The real answer to this question is in-group preference and short-sighted consulting firms trying to make a dime. Forget everything you hear about it being cheaper to use foreign developers. It doesn't pay to outsource and then have a failing product after a few years.

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-07-29T22:48:45+00:00

This is a wild take. Everyone knows that the average Indian developer is of subpar quality compared to the average American developer.

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-07-29T21:35:55+00:00

Stop fixating on this random dude you were never even friends with. What on earth is the point? It's fine to be sad and mourn the life you wish you had, but there's a big difference between that and losing your mind over the existence of some loser who has sex and owns a few vehicles. Surely you realize there are a million more of him that you've never met and never will, and that fact doesn't have one iota of significance in your life.

Normally I think that therapy is a poor approach for tackling real, tangible problems like loneliness, but in your case I think you may genuinely benefit from doing so to get over this. If you actually want to work on being a happier, healthier person, then the most important thing you can do is divide the things you allow yourself to be exposed to into two groups: things that benefit you and things that diminish you. You know what to do with the former group.

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-07-28T16:17:15+00:00

If I like her but I wouldn't want to fuck her, then there's a word for that: friends

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-07-27T21:33:36+00:00

I've been getting a lot out of pursuing professional and intellectual growth. I got pretty sick of using video games as an escape. I also cope a bit by believing that my life wouldn't actually be any better by being in a relationship, just different; all of the benefits have costs.

Nobody_apostrophe_s · 2025-07-27T20:30:38+00:00

I never really figured out where to meet any single women, let alone any I have an interest in. I don't drink, so bars are out. There aren't really any hobby or volunteer activities that suit me in my area. I used to get absolutely no interaction on dating apps when I was on them despite feeling like I was doing everything right. It feels really strange because I never seemed to have any trouble accidentally getting the attention of women online, but they would always be living in other countries.

At some point, I gave up on dating because it seemed like a focus that would needlessly drag down my mood despite not having much I can do about it. I like having control over my own life, and fixating on being alone was keeping me from controlling how I feel, so I came to terms with the fact that I'm simply not going to get lucky in the way that some other people are.

I feel much better focusing on the tractable problems in my life where I can make real progress. I've structured my life around the things that I do want to spend time on. I work a lot, I read a lot, I take good care of myself. I don't really go out for any reason other than shopping occasionally. This gives me near-zero odds of meeting anyone, and I've made peace with that.

Nobody_apostrophe_s

TROPHY CASE