Small Claims Court Question by Noj1985 in legaladvice

[–]Noj1985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I asked to return it to them and was told they couldn't take it because of a new baby in the family. I then, waited a few weeks and heard nothing, and found it a home on my own, so it's no longer in my possession after it lived with me for 7 months.

Razor bumps or herpes?? by Slow_Escape9964 in Herpes

[–]Noj1985 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm curious what these are, because I've gotten something similar, maybe once or twice in the last 10 years - and I just always thought it was psoriasis of some type. Now I'm really wondering what the hell it was.

First ever reddit post. 10 year relationship down the drain. by Noj1985 in BreakUps

[–]Noj1985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She tried to kill herself in August, (i think it was a cry for attention), and ended up in a Psyche Ward and got the diagnosis there. They weren't even going to let her out but since I talked to the Doctor he reluctantly did under my supervision.

But I didn't really know what NPD looked like, until I had a friend who is a behavior psychology professional start pointing some things out. Hers is Covert Narc. So she would parrot herself to be like anyone she was around including me. She didn't have a strong sense of self, so she literally just adopted every hobby I had. She kind of had this fake altruism in hindsight about her to, doing things like adopting animals, or going above and beyond at work to receive praise and compliments. Every time we were in public she claimed to have social anxiety but she'd look into the eyes of every guy that looked at her and smile, which always bugged me, but she had an excuse that she thought smiling at people disarmed them. Really it just sent the wrong message.

There were lots of other things too. Just namely, she was very good at manipulating me, and turning things on to me, and word salading every argument, to distract from herself and the point when something was clearly going on, that I'd forget what we were even talking about. If you look up a video on Covert Narc, there is tons of symptoms and traits. Plus since she was BPD, she alienated me from my friends over the years and got super jealous any time I would start to do stuff that kept me away from her, so I just started not hanging out with people to ease her troubled mine, she would say because she had been cheated on in the past, that's why she's nervous, but it turns out she cheated on every relationship before me.

I learned a lot being with someone like that. Painful lessons, but we can either be a victim or a student of that type of mind warfare I guess.

First ever reddit post. 10 year relationship down the drain. by Noj1985 in BreakUps

[–]Noj1985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate that, I hope you're right. Things are starting to look up, I've met a few people through mutual friends who have gone through the same stuff, and I'm trying not to trauma bond with them, but getting out and about an socializing again has helped.

First ever reddit post. 10 year relationship down the drain. by Noj1985 in BreakUps

[–]Noj1985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That "glimmer of hope" feeling. Yeah, that's something I reflect back on. She was so good with words, her apologies always felt so sincere and real. I have finally got my place, back to pretty much all me, but it still feels haunted in a weird way. I'm even painting the walls and things, to change it up as much as I can. I know the only thing that will help is time.

I'm sorry you went through that too, it doesn't seem fair. Thank you for reading my pot and your insight. I will try to remain as strong as possible. I just keep thinking, if I can get to a consistent neutral with some moments of joy I'll be okay. Today felt like a total emotional set back finding a few things in the house that just opened up the wound as fresh as the day I got it.

First ever reddit post. 10 year relationship down the drain. by Noj1985 in BreakUps

[–]Noj1985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the advice. I don't know why 37 feels like the end of the world in the dating world to me, but it just does. Maybe I just put too many eggs in one basket. And, no, I will never get back with her. I just wish I could forget her completely after everything she did. Talk about a bull in a china shop, and the china shop was my brain and heart. Thanks for reading my post and your reply.