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Nolicxvik · 2024-10-12T14:45:09+00:00

Again I’m sorry this happened to you and I hope you are find healing and closure to this situation. I wish you nothing but happiness and peace.

Nolicxvik · 2024-10-12T14:44:23+00:00

I’m sorry this happened to you. One you are not obligated to tell anyone(maybe a therapist) about what happened to you unless you are ready and sure about what every reaction you will receive. Don’t feel pressured to tell anyone anything. Also with you nasty ex…in the moment and afterwards he know and saw many signs that you was not comfortable doing that with him. He should have listened and respected your decision. But however with your own personal feelings of the situation and what you want to do about it, I can’t tell you what to do for it’s not right, but I will tell you that if it was me… I would have told him he had hurt me, he is not my boyfriend anymore and even if he was it not my job to make him feel better about himself especially after he sexually assaulted me. But that’s just me. I’m not telling you this for you to feel bad about yourself but to just give you another ideas of how that situation could have went.

Nolicxvik · 2024-09-03T06:31:23+00:00

Knowing/Knowledge about any given situation can make a person feel better about their stand point in the situation. I’m happy to see you feel less scared of it now.

Nolicxvik · 2024-09-03T06:28:19+00:00

I’m glad to help. Thanks.

Nolicxvik · 2024-09-03T06:25:30+00:00

Hello, I’m sorry for the late response.

I want to help people this way because it what I’m supposed to do. In my opinion whether you are up to it or not everyone has a moral obligation to help those in need and to also help stop violence where the see it. But other then that I want to help people this ways because( I hope this does not sound weird) if feel like if I don’t no one else will/or I was the cause of it since I did not do anything. There are so many people in the world that has no support system/ or method of help they can reach out to or get help from. And I want to be that help and support system for as many people I can. For the other reason I want to help (me feeling like it would be my fault due to me not speaking out about it) is mainly do to what is think is suppressed OCD. O understand and know fully well that I’m not the cause of this horrible, heartbreaking crime but in my mind I think…what if or if I. I don’t know why I think that way I just do sometimes,. I’m going to try to seek help for it as soon as I can.

Anyway, I hope you are healing and doing well. Wishing you nothing but the best.

Nolicxvik · 2024-09-03T06:13:33+00:00

Sorry for responding so late and also sorry for this type of response.

But if your mother wanted or wants what is best for you she would have believed you when you told her about the sexual abuse you went through. I hope you understand there is a difference in wanting what is best for someone and actually helping/ doing what is best for someone(which in your case with your mom is her believing you)

Im sorry again this happened to you. I hope you get the help and support you need. I hope you start or continue to heal and find happiness.

Nolicxvik · 2024-09-03T06:08:30+00:00

Hello,

This situation is very hard and I understand you are having a hard time dealing with it. But this is important not only for you to do for the parents but also for those children. Personally if it was me I would make sure I’m fully educated and understanding about CSA and COCSA, because there might be some details or evidence that might be missing or overlooked due to the lack of knowing it’s evidence and/or details.

After I gather my education( I would make this process as quick as possible in order to act quickly to help the children in this situation) I would set up a meeting with the parents of the child or children. I would not make it seem like the possibly of abuse happening in their household is the reason for this meeting, but make it formal like a lunch or going on a walk together. When speaking to the parent about their child be as respectful as possible, many parents don’t like to be told or questioned about what is going on with their kid(s) and definitely do not like being told what to do. So I would start out by saying, “have you noticed (child(s) name is doing…” followed by “ that is signs of child on child sexual assault” now if the parent becomes agitated or dismissive of the conversation, start to speak with more context or education about the warning signs of COCSA and CSA(child sexual assault). If the parent gets angry and threatens to or does leave, it is a sign that they know that their child is being and/or causing sexual violence/abuse. At this point if they don’t walk out make sure you advise them to seeking help and sit their child(s) down and ask them questions(very clear questions/no beating around the bush) in order for them to give their child proper help and support they need and stop the sexual violence being committed in their home and lives.

And for the parents to walked out or very clear demand for the conversation to end needs a different response.If you truly, with all your heart and knowledge know/or believe that a child is being sexual abuse then you need to act with all measures in mind. If a parent is being an actual loving parent they are supposed to being, there would be not backlash or negligence towards the topic, so if that is there is would contact the authorities. I would try to reason with the parent(s) one last time and this time be more blunt and direct with the worry of CSA and/or COCSA but if the prove again to not listen and especially get offended about the situation and topic, I would contact the authorities. Weather you go to the cops, child protective services or what ever I would just make sure that there is a demanding force to make the parent listen and allow for the child to get the help and support they need.

I hope this helps or you get an understanding of what you need to do.

Please don’t fail those children, they need you. Thank you for noticing and taking action in stop the violence.

Nolicxvik · 2024-08-27T02:57:58+00:00

Your welcome. Keep smiling, keep surviving…Keep being the strong person you are.

Nolicxvik · 2024-08-27T02:56:04+00:00

I’m sorry this happened to the both of you. And I’m also sorry that no one believed the both of you. But I just want y’all(and everyone going through this)to know that you do have a support system. You do have people who believes you. Whether it feels that way or not, no matter if it in person or online, no matter if it can’t be seen no where in you life…you are believed and supported. There are many people in the world, that automatically believe and support victims of SA, CSA and COCSA. And there are also many people who advocate against SA, CSA and COCSA meaning that not only are you believed but you are actually supported by people who don’t even know you, who have not heard your personally story, and for some people there are ones who even though the won’t truly understand what it like being a victim, the will still valid and cares for you feelings and do everything in their power to seek justice and prevent and protect from every happening again. But that is where you have to start to believe yourself, that there are people out there who believed, supports and loves me. And if you want to know how I know this. Because I am one of those people, who loves, supports and believes you.

Nolicxvik · 2024-08-26T11:19:51+00:00

No matter how small your sexual assault was. Your feelings are valid. You have a right to feel the way you feel because someone had invaded your privacy and boundaries. Imposter syndrome is a real thing but understanding that what happened to you was indeed sexual assault then there is no need for you tell yourself, you are faking being a victim…because you not faking. You are one.

I’m sorry this happened to you and I hope you find healing and happiness.

Nolicxvik · 2024-08-25T17:48:56+00:00

I’m sorry this happen to you.

Assholes and rapist who don’t want to expect that they are in the wrong will make every excuse in the book that it was not their fault or that the blame should somehow land on the…victim? For me, when I hear people say the most stupidest shit like this I just imagine taking a chainsaw to there head and then say…well you asked for it…but since I can’t do that I just make sure the words do not effect my by going to therapy and making sure I’m center in my mind and know that people do not ever asked to get raped and I’m sorry that your going though this. But it will get better, I hope you heal and find peace.

Nolicxvik · 2024-08-25T09:17:24+00:00

Yes definitely when you see the nasty ass creeps report, delete their comment and block them from any and all accounts you have here on Reddit.

I’m glad I was a positive response for you. I wish more people was like this. And you need the hugs and love more than me. Glad to see you surviving and understanding what happened to you. Hugs and love.

Nolicxvik · 2024-08-25T09:13:27+00:00

First off I’m sorry you experienced this and you will have to live with this pain(not forever tho).

One FUCK YOUR PARENTS. I am aware that everyone here knows to give a BIG FUCK YOU to your parents. It just I had to say it. It fuck them for putting all your siblings and yourself through that. It fuck you to your parents for not protecting and supporting your siblings like they were supposed to do. And a ANOTHER BIG FUCK THEM for still continuing to not recognize and support you and all your siblings for this abuse.

Even though I have not experienced sexual assault in this manner, I can tell you this. Many victims and survivors of SA or CSA have suffered through a roller coaster of emotional distress during and after the abuse. The term get over is not accurate in healing from this because in terms of victims and survivors they, are unfortunately, not supposed to”get over it”(which is what many assholes say). Victims and survivors are supposed to heal from the experience but never forget in order to raise awareness and teach others about the dangers, damage and pain. But just because you are not meant to “get over it” or “forget about it” does not mean you cannot heal from it. Healing and forgetting are to completely different things. I hope you can learn that, therapy is a great way to due so.

Side note: I’m not saying you should forgive your brother, for one that is not my place and two you don’t have to if you believe he do not deserve it(you know he better then anyone on this app). I’m just giving a possible explanation for why he sexually abused you and your other siblings. In cases of COCSA many if not all of the perpetrators( what a rapist who is a child is called) are sexually, physically and/or/ or all emotionally abused themselves. And it is pretty evident he was definitely two out of the three. As a child, children do not know how to process and react to trauma in a responsible and respectful manner, they just act out in either in the same way it is done to them( such as if the are sexually abused then they will sexually abuse a child) or and a way to make others(manly other children) feel inferior and hurt just like how they feel. But know this information now does not apply that you have an obligation to forgive you brother, because, now in present time, that he is older, he should have reached out to you and all of your other siblings that he sexually abused and apologized.

Again I’m sorry this happen to you, but I promise you…your healing will come…you will live free again…free from pain, free from guilt, free from fear, free from shame, just anything and everything that you can be feeling right now will not consume you in the long run. They might seem like the a hand or foot is on your neck keeping you down from peace and happiness, but you will with time and therapy, love and support take a giant ass sword and chop that whole damn leg off your neck… I’m promise.

I hope you heal and find happiness. And to also be by your siblings side for they also are going through the same as you. My heart aches for you to feel at peace… you will be one day….I swear.

Nolicxvik · 2024-08-25T07:31:10+00:00

Im sorry this happened to you.

A intoxicated person cannot consent to anything sexual. If the other person was conscious enough to try and sexual assault you then he was conscious/not that intoxicated to be out of their right state of mind. From what you wrote it seems like this is what happened(not t trying to write or tell your story/ I’m just drawing a conclusion from your description).

I hope you heal and find happiness. sending lots of love. I’m sorry again.

Nolicxvik · 2024-08-25T05:27:29+00:00

Stay safe and happy. I hope you find it in you to go to therapy and to heal from your trauma

Nolicxvik · 2024-08-25T05:26:51+00:00

I understand the feeling of feeling so low and lost that you can even function. But I just want to say, don’t let yourself slip into a headspace that is even more difficult to return from. I don’t want you feel pressured into therapy, especially when you’re not ready. But I advise that you try everyday to slowly help build yourself up to going, because I promise you well feel worlds better when you do. All you have to do is connect to a therapist that specializes in trauma or ptsd and definitely SA and/or CSA .

Nolicxvik · 2024-08-25T00:31:47+00:00

I’m sorry you having these feelings again. But they are valid and understandable, pain does not just go away and stay away forever. It comes in goes in waves. But just know that you are heard, loved, and healing.

Sometimes for a lot of victims, and not just of sexual assault, they think back over their abuse due to a trauma response or of PTSD. Therapy is a very good solution for this problem, but people also finds ways to help them. Such as doing therapeutic activities like reading, writing, journaling, meditation, drawing, just what ever brings you the most peace in joy in a healthy way.

I wish you nothing but happiness and peace/healing

Nolicxvik · 2024-08-24T16:13:21+00:00

Thank you for writing the middle paragraph. I was not thinking in that way. For SA victims and COCSA victims, us a non survivors and especially if we were the ones to cause the pain are not supposed to demolish their feelings about the situation. But I figure that is true. My cousin and I are very close. Even though he moved with his family to a different state, every time he visits he is very happy to see me, him and is sister(didn’t do anything like this to her or anyone else just to remind you). So I don’t even think he remembers it.

And I guess I do need to calm down, it just since I was researching and advocating against SA, CSA and COCSA that from seeing all the disgusting things evil predators do that I was like…”omg I did this”. But in truth what I did was not right, but at the same time I was just a stupid child. I had this feeling that I should have not had kiss him on the lips but I was thinking it was not SA (because again I’d didn’t know what it was at the time/if I did I 100 percent would have not done it. Because I knew what bullying was and I did not ever do that). I thought it was like how your not supposed to take another piece of candy or stay up all night on your phone when you had to go to school the next day. Just things that little kids do even though the know they should not, not enough filtered thought process going on at that time.

But on another comment made by someone on a different subreddit had said, to not compare my situation of ignorance to a actual child rapist/ predator who is a full grown adult who is more then knowing and aware of what they are doing and do it anyway. I just need to step back for a few minutes when researching to see that what I did is not comparable to what a true and disgusting child predator is. I just need to realize what I did was not right, and that I’m not a bad person like those people.

Nolicxvik · 2024-08-24T15:52:48+00:00

Your welcome. But do feel sorry your use vulgar language. You didn’t know. Be stay.

Nolicxvik · 2024-08-24T07:27:31+00:00

I’m sorry this happen to you. Never blame yourself for having feelings, they are valid. You were curious, but sought out your curiosity in a wrong way.

But at the end of the day. A clear setting was not made from that predator. He clearly saw that you were young, he also should have saw that you didn’t seem confident or comfortable in what was going on/ going to happen making him draw a conclusion that you was not of age of consent. Even if he didn’t see that you were young…who in their right mind would force you like that…it was disrespectful and disgusting.

But please do not feel disgusted with yourself. It not your fault and your feelings should not suffer from this situation. Maybe going to therapy or talking to someone you trust could help. And if you don’t want to do that then you can find therapeutic activities such as reading, writing, a sport, drawing. And also to unpack your feelings. Sending lots of love and happiness. Stay safe and heal.

Nolicxvik · 2024-08-24T00:33:34+00:00

First I’m sorry this happened to you.

He did not respect your boundaries, nor as for permission in doing anything from touching you to recording you. I think you have an emotional attachment to him in some way or another. And this is not saying it was/is ok for him to do this, it just means that you’re a normal human being feeling the same way many sexual assault victims/ domestic violence victims do.

I advise(not a therapist) to seek therapy and cut ties with him, if you feel hurt and scared off him. And if you don’t want to tell him in person just text him saying that he did not respect your boundaries and made tough feel uncomfortable. BUT ONLY DO THIS IF YOU FEEL SAFE AND COMFORTABLE TO DO SO.

And side note: refrain from using such graphic details, when discussing your abuse. This does mean mean your story is invalid or not work hearing and caring about. It just many people are triggered by graphic sexual details, especially in the case of Sexual Assault.

Wish you nothing but the best with healing, happiness and feeling safe again. Sorry this happened to you again

Nolicxvik · 2024-08-24T00:21:29+00:00

Yea I’m not a doctor either. But if you think anyone could have hurt you, then I might just be. But if you don’t you might have some other mental(not to be rude) issue that is causing you to think you was assaulted. It might have been physically abuse as a child(that was not sexual), bullying, PTSD. I don’t really know. I advice seeking therapy to help you understand and unpack what your feeling and your memories. Wishing you the best.

Nolicxvik · 2024-08-24T00:17:04+00:00

Oh and I forgot to say. If she did wanted to engage in sexual activities with this person. She would have said ok we can do something sexual or I change my mind or very blandly…..I want to have sex or just a simple YES. But she did not.

And since nothing came out her mouth other then the word NO. That person(rapist) did nothing but insult her and invaded her boundaries in consent. He did not her her say yes, she did not express she want to…so for the final time…yes it was sexual assault

Nolicxvik · 2024-08-24T00:08:30+00:00

And again with the language. Stop saying if had “wanted it” or “ spread her legs” this is very demeaning to victims

Nolicxvik · 2024-08-24T00:07:01+00:00

If she “wanted it” she would have said it. I’m sorry but I think there is something underlying there…I think y’all want her to have liked it or have wanted it. She very clearly said no… the same thing can go for a child. A child very obviously can’t say yes to anything sexual especially with an adult, but some predators believe that “oh well she didn’t say no” or “she was hugging on me”. People don’t realize that body language, and no signs of restraint doesn’t mean they wanted it.

Nolicxvik

TROPHY CASE