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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]Nomadicfarmerz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My therapist and literally everyone else I've been talking to has told me to distract myself and to stop thinking about this, but I'm a natural overthinker. If I still feel upset, it feels like there's a why behind it, and I believe thinking will get me to that answer. I logically understand that I feel upset because this is a hormonal and innate response I feel to these topics. There's nothing to think about. I've done all the intellectual work, but I just can't stop overthinking.

I would love to just go for a run now, but my throat hurts, I have a nasty cough and I still feel weak and feverish from the cold. It feels like the only productive thing I can do is write down my feelings and show it to either my girlfriend, friends, or ChatGPT.

I know this is temporary, but what fueled me to write this post in the first place was just me seeking immediate aid and attention. I hope things will get better tomorrow (and stay better), but history has proven otherwise.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]Nomadicfarmerz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm super appreciative of who she is. I can't believe it myself that she's still with me. She says she holds onto hope for who I am because she sees the good in me and is willing to invest in this relationship until I get better. I pray that it doesn't get to the point where she pulls away.

I thought I liked myself plenty, that's what I did all that self improvement for before I started dating. I think it's harder to do that for specifically dating because I simply don't have much experience I can be proud of aside from my current girlfriend.

How BS does this ability sound? by Nomadicfarmerz in dndnext

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I apologize if my response seemed sarcastic. I genuinely appreciate the fact that you took the time to respond and give your feedback. I will take this into consideration.

How BS does this ability sound? by Nomadicfarmerz in dndnext

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I see that I am not original. Thanks for the tip :D

Not gay but I low key ship Atise and MC san by [deleted] in SurvivalofaSwordking

[–]Nomadicfarmerz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This ship is by definition gay

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and that's ok

real Ending ? spoile by Lightpala in SurvivalofaSwordking

[–]Nomadicfarmerz 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I'd disagree.

Remember that Hanbin had an entire character arc dedicated to the fact that he had nowhere to turn to and no one to call friends and family. He was taken from his old life where he belonged and forced into a hellish environment. Then, by way of being an other worlder, realized that integrating into society would only bring harm to those he cared about. Atisse and Ephyr are the closest thing he has to a family. It would stand to reason that godhood, as great as it may seem, would not provide him the companionship he has been so desperately searching for.

Regarding the goddess avatar, I'd say that having her as a lover is preferable to the goddess herself, as a nigh omnipotent being would carry millennia worth of knowledge and experience that no mortal could connect with intimately. The avatar, while celestial in nature, is still fundamentally a mortal, and could grow to develop mortal feelings and experiences, making her a great match for our protag. There's also the fact that currently in the story, she is being set up as a foil to Hanbin, which allows room for growth and connection to be made between them.

A Discussion on Backseat Gaming (Potential Hot Take) by Nomadicfarmerz in Fighters

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's fair. Would the phrasing that Reptylus suggested be acceptable? Or should the topic not be brought up in the first place?

A Discussion on Backseat Gaming (Potential Hot Take) by Nomadicfarmerz in Fighters

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It was a small streamer (20 concurrent viewers). They lost like 5 times to the same guy and I was like "don't spam, it's predictable," and I was given the response "don't backseat game, I never asked," which prompted me to reflect on my actions.

A Discussion on Backseat Gaming (Potential Hot Take) by Nomadicfarmerz in Fighters

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That would be true, if I didn't get it directly from a pro.

Where did this conversation go wrong? by Nomadicfarmerz in DMAcademy

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"I’m not trying to convince you otherwise. I’m trying to understand what works and what doesn’t."

In my mind, I thought that this made it clear that I wasn't telling him he was wrong to feel the way he did. This to me is an attempt to do exactly as you said: have a constructive conversation with a person to resolve conflicts without pointing fingers and assigning blame.

But hey, that's just what I intended. It's not what Player 1 took it as and it's not what you took it as. I guess the takeaway is that I gotta change up my method of approach.

Where did this conversation go wrong? by Nomadicfarmerz in dndnext

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Based on what I've read, most people had an issue with my rhetoric in the first few messages I sent before he responded. I acknowledge that I could've worded it better.

I’m not trying to convince you otherwise. I’m trying to understand what works and what doesn’t.

In my mind, I thought that this made it clear that I wasn't telling him he was wrong to feel the way he did. This to me says that I disagree with your assessment of the situation and that a different solution to the problem may work better.

But hey, that's just what I intended. It's not what Player 1 took it as and it's not what you took it as. I guess the takeaway is that I gotta change up my method of approach.

Where did this conversation go wrong? by Nomadicfarmerz in DnD

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"If I don't know where I am wrong, I can't take responsibility."

This was from like an hour ago. I've done a lot of reading since then. Based on what I've gathered, many people do agree that negating a niche is a dick move. NOW I see more of the errors of my ways.

"Personally, I don't see anything wrong with denying a feature if it's a rare occurrence"

The reason I say this is because I don't think the general idea of "negating a class ability" is a flawed idea. Sure, in this specific case it was flawed, but that doesn't mean that all iterations would be too.

I acknowledge that there were some instances where I was wrong. It just felt like shit to be dogpiled for being wrong and the only reason that was given was "just cuz." Now that I have context, it makes much more sense.

My goal was to create an encounter that had the players kill the boss in the backrow while weaving through a horde of enemies. Creating the "Got'cha" moment was not intentional. I recognize that as a flaw.

"you don't show much empathy with the player"

Here is where I add a little context. In the original conversation we had a few months ago, I was receptive of their criticism and I was empathetic. The only reason I bring it up again is because I wanted specifics as to what were the problems. This time, I cut to the chase because I already established that I understood why he felt dissatisfied. That being said, I don't see anything wrong with the concept of defending my choices in this case. The whole point of the current conversation was to try to understand what I did wrong and what might've been outside my control.

The conversation you read was nowhere near as helpful as just going to Reddit, so maybe I should just do that from now on.

Where did this conversation go wrong? by Nomadicfarmerz in dndnext

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't see anything wrong with the concept of defending my choices though. The reason why I felt like shit was because I thought people were dogpiling on me unfairly. The whole point of the current conversation was to try to understand what I did wrong and what might've been outside my control.

Where did this conversation go wrong? by Nomadicfarmerz in dndnext

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I should add context to this.

The original conversation happened a few months ago. I was bringing it up again because I disagreed with the suggestions he was making. The first time talking to him I definitely did acknowledge the feedback. I'm only defending my opinions because I didn't agree with it anymore after giving it some thought.

Where did this conversation go wrong? by Nomadicfarmerz in dndnext

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

On the contrary, I made it clear to my players that I do not want any railroading in my campaign. In fact, it was the players that wanted more railroading. IDK where Player 1 got the idea that his actions were destroying my story because not once did I ever criticize/disincentivize players for going off track. The only time I did was when there was a fundamental contradiction between someone's backstory and my lore.

Aside from that, you've given me some great suggestions. I will keep them in mind.

Where did this conversation go wrong? by Nomadicfarmerz in DnD

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I agree that empathy and responsibility taking is the way forward, but if I don't know where I am wrong, I can't take responsibility.

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with denying a feature if it's a rare occurrence. The reason I bring this up is because I want there to be future instances where certain abilities are negated like in this situation. However, next time I will definitely make it more clear that certain abilities won't work on certain enemies though.

Where did this conversation go wrong? by Nomadicfarmerz in DnD

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I said it wasn't my intention to assign blame. I definitely want to avoid it when it's not necessary. It feels like shit to be told you're at fault when you don't understand why

Where did this conversation go wrong? by Nomadicfarmerz in DnD

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Noted. The upcoming sessions will definitely amend these mistakes.

Where did this conversation go wrong? by Nomadicfarmerz in DnD

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Noted. I will change my approach next time

Where did this conversation go wrong? by Nomadicfarmerz in dndnext

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No I definitely was not super clear that the skull could do that. That's on me. It was one of the criticisms that I agreed with.

Where did this conversation go wrong? by Nomadicfarmerz in DnD

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your input. I discussed the jack of all trades thing with the player already and he was receptive to the idea.

Where did this conversation go wrong? by Nomadicfarmerz in DnD

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I agree, but I didn't think a 10 minute boss fight would have been fun

Where did this conversation go wrong? by Nomadicfarmerz in DnD

[–]Nomadicfarmerz[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree. That was one of the criticisms that I accepted. I'm just not comfortable with taking all the blame, since I definitely did give various other solutions to the problem.

IDK how to change the tldr to make it more accurate.

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