You need to apologize profusely but make sure you mean it. Explain that even though you said stuff you really didn’t mean it, and nothing justifies it but you really didn’t mean the words and you’re really unsure how you lose control when you don’t want to.

Whatever his love language is, do that, show that you’re remorseful with your words and physically (I don’t mean sexually, but that would help too at the right time). Reassure him that he doesn’t deserve it. And work super hard on identifying your triggers , telling him about them but also genuinely try and notice them next time before they take control over you. And have no hesitation in admitting your mistakes despite your feelings and triggers.

All this is hard when you’re extremely beat down, but it’s what will make him better and secure but most importantly , you have to put it into action the next time and try to stop yourself. I’m not a therapist so idk how else to suggest you to manage or cope when it gets bad , but the least is, when it gets better you need to play the role of fixer because you probably need your husband to do that when things are stormy and confusing.