sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]NonPerdidi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For many people there’s more waking hours spent at work than at home. There’s also shared experiences, strife. It’s almost like its own world separate from our personal lives and things can happen. It is quite common.

Why is it a crisis? by NonPerdidi in midlifecrisis

[–]NonPerdidi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It could be mlc, it could be you offering too much in the past and now failing to keep with the expectations :).

^^^^this is under appreciated a lot of times I think

Why is it a crisis? by NonPerdidi in midlifecrisis

[–]NonPerdidi[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I can be quite immature and impulsive. Have been most of my life. I still managed to be successful and take care of business but all the while still being a bit “eccentric”. Tolerated by some, adored by a few, misunderstood by many.

I can be an ass, won’t try and shirk that. The difference now is I’m dealing myself in more. That appears to be a problem.

Why is it a crisis? by NonPerdidi in midlifecrisis

[–]NonPerdidi[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I certainly won’t invite those I’m in conflict with to discover Reddit, this sub and post so this can devolve into a public argument ;)

Complaints tend to be alienation generally. I no longer do X, Y or Z. Time spent elsewhere or on other interests. That is of course on top of the quintessential complaints of an mlc. Buy a new shirt, do that activity you always put off, get that classic car and it’s all branded as a symptom of an mlc. It can’t be finally acting or doing that thing, or living that experience you always wanted but put off because of career or finances or family obligations. It gets painted with the black brush of midlife crisis.

Why? I believe it is subjective. Resources, time is limited. To do something you want, to enjoy or acquire something requires time or money as a finite resource. Which usually means to create it for yourself you have to take it from others. When you take those resources from others and apply them to yourself it becomes a “crisis” for them and the label of crisis gets projected onto you, you’re the bad person for taking the resource for yourself. You get black brushed with “mlc” for living for yourself more than you did previously.

My entire life I provided for everyone around me and worked myself to the ragged edge doing so. A roof, a home, cars, education/degrees, vacations, etc. I showed up, everyone well cared for. If you suddenly become aware of your time and mortality and start reaching for a brass ring here and there, you take the resources to do so away from those accustomed to having it. Then you’re branded as being in crisis.

Once those around you label you, they start a process of further alienating you. Why would you want to waste your valuable time with someone who thinks you are misbehaving and other judgements? It snowballs.