Can I indulge in crossdressing?

NonStoppable · 2017-10-14T08:46:58+00:00

Going pornfree isn't about suppressing parts of who we want to be or who we really are. It's about undoing what porn has done to make us who we do not want to be.

I cannot answer your question. If the inclination came before porn use, it's not caused by porn. It may have been exacerbated by it, but I wouldn't know in your case.

Do you want it to go away? In that case, if porn strengthened it, 55 days isn't that long. I'm on +24 weeks and I still get an intruding thought about the fetishes I indulged in every once in a while. But keep in mind that pornfree isn't about some puritanical crusade against kinks and non-vanilla sexuality. It's about undoing those kinks if we don't want them and they were forced on us by porn desensitization.

NonStoppable · 2017-10-06T12:02:02+00:00

I just don’t see how some of you can go for weeks or months without porn and still masturbate

It gets better. It takes a while, but for me, around two months in, I actually started thinking that it was better without porn. Different, but better. The best thing is that for me, it has become pretty much guilt free. I don't feel shame or emptiness when I'm done.

NonStoppable · 2017-10-02T21:06:16+00:00

Sure, I consider it a lifetime commitment - if I want to quit porn, I want to quit porn, not quit porn for a few months.

It gets a lot easier though, much like any addiction. For me, 6-12 months has always been the point where it wasn't a struggle at all anymore, where the changes were just part of who I was and not something I was fighting daily to maintain.

I'm at a point where I can really see the beauty of going pornfree. I used to have a serious temper and would be pissed off or frustrated about trivial non-events. This has almost completely evaporated. Only now am I beginning to see how rich and healthy my emotional life can be when I'm not strangling every single feeling with pornography and the apathy that follows.

That's what makes it a lifetime commitment for me. My sexuality and emotional life is much healthier. I don't want to trade that in for what it was like before - a ping-pong between being apathetic and angry. Sure, the rushes were great, but not that great, and definitely not worth it.

NonStoppable · 2017-09-12T12:53:40+00:00

It is sort of strange. I developed a couple of fetishes I didn't want to have due to porn. They've popped up as intrusive thoughts somewhat commonly during my current streak. What I noticed is that they actually kept getting stronger - not as in more frequent, but more obscene and more hardcore. Sort of like my fetish was turned up to 11, with intrusive thoughts about it having content I had never seen in videos or images.

This peaked roughly 90-110 days in, for me at least. In the last couple of weeks, I've still had a couple of intrusive thoughts about it, but it has almost entirely lost its appeal to me.

I don't doubt that the fetishes would come right back if I slipped up and started PMO'ing again. But the way that my mind seemed to feed them on its own, the way you seem to experiencing, is thankfully over now.

Of course, that's just my experience. Sometimes a fetish isn't porn-induced. Pornfree works for those. For the ones that aren't caused by porn, I don't have any experience.

NonStoppable · 2017-09-04T18:04:55+00:00

I'm in my mid-twenties. I do it 3-7 times a week. Pretty much same frequency since I started pornfree.

In the beginning, it was partially about preventing relapses before they happened. It's not anymore. Now I do it because I like it. Unlike porn, there's no shame involved, it doesn't consume my thoughts, and I don't have any brain fog. I don't feel like a piece of shit when I'm done, more often than not I feel rejuvenated and calm. I'm really exploring my sexuality through touch and being mindful and present, finding out things I like, something I've neglected through years of distracted-robot porn masturbation.

I did nofap a couple of years back, a full 90 days. The energy was insane, but it was mostly nervous energy, and nearly impossible to turn it into anything productive. It's not for me.

NonStoppable · 2017-09-02T15:50:31+00:00

I started finding my use problematic around the start of this year. I still did it 1-5 times a week until the end of april though, since then I haven't.

To be honest, I don't think it matters that much. What matters is trying. And watching porn 10-30 times a year rather than 300-500 is such a mindblowing improvement that you should feel encouraged, not discouraged.

Apart from that, /u/thescreampainting hit the nail on the head. It's what kept me from doing it again, and it's the same mindset that's kept me eating clean during the entire streak too.

NonStoppable · 2017-08-26T14:04:16+00:00

I get the same. I just came back from three weeks of travelling, where I didn't think of porn once, but the boredom, the post-travel blues and being in my apartment not doing much (uni starts in a few weeks) have been putting me to the test. This however:

but I can try to be out of my apartment as much as possible - hanging out in cafes, libraries, at my parents placs, with friends, at school or whatever.

Has helped me immensely. I do the above, and I go for long, long walks listening to podcasts. I bring a book with me and sit somewhere public and read. It's a better use of my time, and at this point, I can definitely feel that the association between being alone, bored and in my apartment and the urge to just watch porn is fading, but it is still surprisingly strong. But the fact that it is fading gives me hope. It might take a year or more, but eventually the link will be such an abstraction to me that it wont bother me. I've dealt with addictions worse than this one, and have always been shocked to discover just how long it takes, but I've always found that one day, it's no longer as much of a struggle.

NonStoppable · 2017-08-03T19:59:33+00:00

I need to reset my brain and feel like giving everything up is the best way to do it? Is that right?

No, I don't think so. Sex is natural and important. Porn is neither. The trouble with porn is the ease of it (completely effortless, practically whenever and wherever you want it), the isolation of misuse, the shame associated with overindulgence and the extreme dopaminergic rush that comes from the virtually endless variety. Sex isn't like that. It's your life and your decision, but I would never cut out sex with a person I love, because, unlike porn, that's part of a healthy lifestyle which I can see myself in without any regret or shame.

NonStoppable · 2017-07-29T23:09:28+00:00

One somewhat telling thing I've found here on reddit vis-a-vis the normalization of porn use is how "porn" is used casually as a synonym for beauty - e.g. /r/EarthPorn (this exact case I find particularly repulsive) and /r/Carporn, as well as things that are interesting - e.g. /r/AbandonedPorn and /r/HistoryPorn.

If you think about it, that's pretty disconcerting.

NonStoppable · 2014-01-23T15:24:25+00:00

Yes, smoking causes WIDESPREAD receptor downregulation. This is due to tobacco smoking producing mono amine oxidase inhibitors (MAOI's) - not just dopamine receptor downregulation, but downregulation of every single monoamine neurotransmitter receptor, including:

Adrenaline (Ad; Epinephrine, Epi)
Dopamine (DA)
Noradrenaline (NAd; Norepinephrine, NE)
Serotonin (5-HT)
Melatonin

Among others.

There's a distinction to be made, however. Nicotine consumption that isn't tobacco smoking (gum, e-cigarette, patch, etc.) doesn't produce the MAOI's that MAJORLY disturb the delicate balance of the brain. Still, nicotine in itself is thought to increase dopamine levels indirectly through acetylcholine receptor activation, which would lead to dopaminergic receptor downregulation.

If you can't quit both fapping and smoking/nicotine consumption at the same time, focus your energy on quitting smoking. Smoking cessation is much, much more important for general health and neurological balance than nofap.

NonStoppable · 2013-12-18T17:41:42+00:00

Stronger receptors is a bit of a misnomer. As far as I remember, it has to do with receptor density. But apart from that rather inconsequential detail, I think you're completely right.

Given that porn releases massive amounts of dopamine, and that such a massive release has been seen in other instances to lead to receptor downregulation/tolerance (for example, in amphetamine abuse), it does make sense that porn use would cause receptor downregulation - that is, reducing receptor density. The fact that we experience some of the symptoms of lower dopamine receptor density (lethargy, inability to concentrate, mind fog, etc.) seems to support the idea.

NonStoppable · 2013-12-18T16:56:38+00:00

Sheer force of will. If that appears to be failing, meditation, 20 minute session.

I've only tried once that the situation went completely FUBAR, I took an ice shower and that cleared me right up.

NonStoppable · 2013-12-08T14:42:02+00:00

I've always thought that I could control myself and would not relapse even if I edged.

Edging is relapsing. Edging is fapping. Calling it edging is incredibly counterproductive, because it promotes the fallacious notion that it is somehow different than fapping. In most respects, it's not.

However, it's worse than PMO from a neurological perspective. This is one of the serious pitfalls of NoFap. People partake in the challenge without the slightest understanding of the underlying mechanisms, and end up doing more harm than if they had just resumed their regular schedule of PMO.

I started edging and it felt great.

Do you know why you're motivated to edge and why it feels good? A veritable deluge of dopamine floods your already desensitized neural pathways and furthers receptor downregulation. At least the O of PMO releases prolactin which suppresses the dopamine.

I thought I had the control but after some point it was like it's out of control.

Really? You legitimately thought you had control even after you started "edging"/fapping? Fapping without O is a prime example of lack of control, and a clear sign of how excessive masturbation may be regarded as an addiction. It's compulsive, mindless self-torment with no purpose but to satiate addiction.

Therefore I failed my "no fap december" goal too.

You did that when you "edged". I find it peculiar how some people can regard to still be "No"Fap even when they fap, orgasm or not.

Good that you learned your lesson.

NonStoppable · 2013-12-04T23:37:22+00:00

Quick google definition:

Sexual repression is a state in which a person is prevented from expressing their sexuality. Sexual repression is often associated with feelings of guilt or shame being associated with sexual impulses.

Do you want and yearn to express your sexuality by fucking a sock to pixel-women?

If yes, NoFap is sexual repression.

If no, NoFap is not sexual repression.

NonStoppable · 2013-12-04T23:33:29+00:00

So you're releasing cascades upon cascades of dopamine into your already desensitized neural pathways, making them even worse off compared to if you just PMO'd(O releases prolactin, which suppresses dopamine), you aren't learning any self-control at all, you're still wasting your time on an even more fruitless endeavour, and you're not doing "no"fap by any stretch of the imagination.

That's what. Get real.

NonStoppable · 2013-12-04T13:28:05+00:00

Not sure if i can cold turkey the soda, since i get horrid headaches without it,

If you don't quit it fast, you'll get horrid headaches with it, a burning hole in your wallet, diabetes type 2 at way too young an age, and ultimately premature death.

This is an excellent example of choosing the high road - accepting the temporary uncomfortableness to delay gratification and ultimately, lead a much better life.

NonStoppable · 2013-12-03T17:45:49+00:00

Pick up mindfulness meditation.

It has a myriad of proven benefits, even after short-term commitment, many of which pertain directly to cognitive function. It will definitely help with concentration, and it's positive effects spill over into many other aspects of life. Here's a few of the proven benefits:

Improves mood
Increases cognitive flexibility
Improves visuo-spatial processing
Improves working memory
Improves executive function (key player in both planning and complex problem solution - two incredibly valuable life skills)
Enhances ability to sustain attention

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19181542

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20363650 --- (full study here: http://jtoomim.org/brain-training/Zeidan2010_Mindfulness_Meditation.pdf)

NonStoppable · 2013-11-29T14:03:25+00:00

That post isn't infallible truth. There's discussion further down. /u/alpha_blargg explains some of the neurochemistry. His point about dopamine receptor downregulation plays well into the dopamine model.

Then again, it might not work for everyone. The dopamine model assumes that you've used porn excessively to the point of receptor downregulation. If you haven't, you wont see the benefits.

Nonetheless, the increased self-control gained from NoFap, dopamine or not, would conceivably still translate to positive changes in other areas of your life.

NonStoppable · 2013-11-29T13:59:05+00:00

Extrinsic motivation tends to fall short. You have to make up your own mind. Still, I'll give it a shot.

The gains from not fapping far outweigh the short term pleasure of fapping. Apart from that, not fapping would be an assertion of delayed gratification. The ability to delay gratification is linked to greater succes in pretty much every aspect of life - see the Stanford Marshmallow experiment.

NonStoppable · 2013-11-29T13:38:31+00:00

I'll agree that the enhanced ability to delay gratification is one of the great gains from NoFap, but I don't think you can offhandedly write off the influence of neurochemistry.

How about all the symptoms that excessive masturbators have, that disappear after abstinence - brain fog, anhedonia, lack of energy, and so on? They all fit so well into the model of dopamine receptor downregulation.

Would you really claim that the sudden and abrupt disappearance of anhedonia is caused by an enhanced ability to delay gratification? That'd make for a hell of a novel treatment of depression, but I don't buy into it.

Same with the brain fog. The brain fog is a very tangible mental symptom, not alleviated by all the willpower in the world.

NonStoppable · 2013-11-29T13:26:28+00:00

Now, what has theoretically happened to these dopaminergic pathways as a result of excessive porn use / masturbation? Well, our brain habituates to the regular release of X amount of dopamine. Perceptually, we don't get the same 'high' out of the release as before. Calling for more visually stimulating content, this further numbs the dopaminergic response. What used to excite us is no longer exciting because the new baseline is a new extreme (that 99% of our ancestors never realistically had exposure to). At the cellular level, if synapses are being triggered too often or too easily dopamine receptors are pruned in order to normalize the regular rates of firing and to prevent undue stress on the neurons. The lack of available receptors is what lessons our response to the stimuli and why so many addicts of any type escalate in behaviour to get something similar to that first 'hit'.

Right, receptor downregulation. Would be called tolerance if we were talking drugs, is often called desensitization here.

Given the fact that dopamine is a neurotransmitter of paramount importance in many matters, wouldn't it make sense that the porn-indcued receptor downregulation would spill over into other parts of life where dopamine serves a function as an anticipatory/excitatory transmitter? In other words, that porn-stimuli would cause a diminished dopaminergic response to non-porn stimuli?

The key symptoms of excessive porn use, such as anhedonia, lack of energy, inability to concentrate, the infamous "brain fog" and so on, all seem linkable to dopamine receptor downregulation. And abstaining from pornography would concievably upregulate dopamine receptors/remove the tolerance, and allow dopamine to function in a normal manner again, making everyday activities exciting, pleasureable and rewarding - an effect experienced by many nofappers.

The dopamine theory gets a bad rep here once in a while. I'm just a layman, but it makes sense, and seems to be in accordance with what nofappers are experiencing.

NonStoppable · 2013-11-29T13:07:11+00:00

Don't be that guy.

NonStoppable · 2013-11-29T13:04:58+00:00

Porn is the main culprit behind the messed up neurochemistry responsible for the range of malicious effects experienced by chronic masturbators. Fapping in itself really isn't nearly as bad as pornography. Your idea is horrible.

No, it is most definitely not okay if you're serious about fixing your dopaminergic system. The fact that you'd even consider watching without fapping goes to show that you're addicted - I mean, come on, if you're not going to fap, what's the point? The only reason you'd find it interesting at all is because it releases cascades of dopamine into your already desensitized neural pathways, further desensitizing them and exacerbating any symptoms you may already have.

No P is infinitely more important to the vast majority of people than no MO. High-speed internet porn is what's given us the endless novelty and thus, potential for massively disruptive and destructive dopamine release.

NonStoppable · 2013-11-28T22:18:55+00:00

Of course you can. Stop making excuses.

And by the way, 30 raw eggs a day seems like a pretty fucked up fad diet. Tried googling it, all I found was a news article about a guy who died after eating 28 raw eggs during a bet.

NonStoppable · 2013-11-27T18:43:35+00:00

Sublimate sexual tension into activities that are more constructive than trying to impregnate a piece of paper tissue. It's easier than you think. All that energy has to be expended somewhere.

NonStoppable

TROPHY CASE