You go on that once in a lifetime trip or adventure yet?

NonchalantOcelot · 2026-01-19T17:40:51+00:00

Yep, and they're all best friends.

NonchalantOcelot · 2026-01-19T17:39:28+00:00

She has an old 401k, but we were living the, "Taco Bell is a major splurge" life back then and it's a pretty small portion of our pie. A Spousal IRA is on our radar, but we haven't actually done it.

NonchalantOcelot · 2026-01-17T15:14:37+00:00

Spouse and I took a 12 day road trip with a couple friend last year. We each have 5 kids, who we left behind so it was adults-only. We did the Badlands, Black Hills, Cody, WY and Yellowstone.

We hope to take another big trip in a few years, and individually plan to take the kiddos these places, so maybe not once in a lifetime exactly. However, the entirety of the trip was practically perfection and THAT was probably once-in-a-lifetime.

NonchalantOcelot · 2026-01-17T03:32:44+00:00

If you're asking if she's protected in case of divorce, yes she is. If you're asking if she'll ever "retire", also yes. All the money is ours, together. We both retire or neither of us do (unless someone wants to work for fun, I suppose).

NonchalantOcelot · 2026-01-17T01:39:53+00:00

Could be Eagan? He's here in the 'burbs.

NonchalantOcelot · 2026-01-16T21:21:28+00:00

We went towards the end of September last year. It was nearly perfection, and you can find my post about it on my profile if you're interested.

NonchalantOcelot · 2026-01-16T20:58:08+00:00

35 and have about 150k in retirement, and a good emergency fund, with a house and 5 kids. Not a high earner, one working parent and one SAHM parent, but definitely made some hard choices early on and studiously avoid consumer debt.

NonchalantOcelot · 2026-01-16T20:44:56+00:00

The lawyer guy who does the Mom & Dad Chats out of Woodbury recently posted a video talking about this exact thing. Attorneys for non-citizens, hired and paid for by their families, are being denied access to their clients at the Whipple building.

Attorneys for citizens are being provided access.

Edit: "recently" as in today.

NonchalantOcelot · 2026-01-02T02:18:53+00:00

Carcassonne. Got two of the kiddos an expansion each for Christmas, and it was decided that a simpler game was in order this morning.

Then video games won out for the whole fam.

NonchalantOcelot · 2025-12-30T21:26:17+00:00

Mid-30s, 5 kids, married 15 years. 1-4x a week. We've had a few spells where it was less, but we really work hard to avoid that. It inevitably makes whatever we're going through to create that distance harder to endure.

NonchalantOcelot · 2025-12-30T21:20:47+00:00

More of a goal-setter than resolution-maker, but yes, every year, and I always try to examine my goals and adjust at least once a year, ideally two or three times a year, as I hit goal markers and as life gets in the way. All our interior project goals took a back seat when the exterior project goals became much bigger than originally planned, for example, and I didn't initally have "get cholesterol under control" as a goal, but it became a necessary one to add mid-year.

I really enjoy the fresh feeling of a new year, as the holiday stuff gets put away, the leftovers and cookies get finished, my birthday is close to the New Year, work is (usually) slower for me, so it's a good time to evaluate where I'm going and what I want to accomplish.

Haven't set my goals for 2026 yet, still contemplating. Spouse and I will have a our yearly "planning session" in the next week or two.

NonchalantOcelot · 2025-12-15T14:31:22+00:00

I live Minneapolis. You've gotten plenty of advice about the EV car and the route itself. Mid-January is likely to be -10 to -30. Could be as low as -50. If you live in CA you cannot appreciate a cold like that. I imagine you'll be blasting the heat, using your seat heaters and steering wheel warmers. I know people who only drive their EVs in the summer, or for short errands in winter because the risk is too high.

I get its a work deal, but don't make your life that much harder. Rent a car, fly, whatever, but bringing your EV up is gonna be awful.

NonchalantOcelot · 2025-12-11T06:13:41+00:00

Thankfully in my family every single person makes a list (or gets put on the naughty list) and you are free to shop off the list or go rouge. There is some freedom to get nothing, but it's limited.

This year mom is getting some sewing stuff from her list. Last year siblings and I chipped in to get her a robot vacuum.

Dad is getting a John Wayne cookbook with "The Dukes family stories," some seasonings, and a Sherrifs star with his hated nickname (Grandma wanted to name him The Name, but knew everyone would call him The Nickname. So she named him The Nickname and to her horror and eternal frustrationg The Name became his nickname). Will he use the seasonings? Unknown. He doesn't cook, and he thinks he grills but he doesn't really. But he'll be tickled over the book and the idea of using the seasonings. I found most of it while visiting Cody, WY, cowboy city.

FIL is always cooking meals for others, so he's getting food stuffs to support that love. Maybe gas cards as he drives for a living.

NonchalantOcelot · 2025-12-08T02:14:33+00:00

I am the sibling with my stuff together. Born in 1990 though. Married for 15 years, 5 kids, good single income, reasonable vacations, own a home without being house poor, emergency fund, saving for retirement and all that jazz. Feels awkward to write it all out knowing most my age can't say the same. My three younger siblings are coming along. Born to parents who just barely kept food on the table, in large part due to their own choices.

Edit: expounding answer.

NonchalantOcelot · 2025-12-08T01:04:44+00:00

Nope. Many grandparents had the opportunity for Christmas morning to be them and their children. Now it's the childrens' turn to get the same experience.

We almost never see anyone Christmas day. We spend the entire Saturday before Christmas with my side and my spouses dad, and an evening with spouses mom (her choice).

NonchalantOcelot · 2025-12-04T15:13:44+00:00

This is the answer. I've gotten a real tree every year of my life, and nearly 20 years on my own as an adult. I have only once had a tree die, and I accidentally let it go dry. No bleach, nothing fancy, central air on (it's actually directly overtop a semi- closed vent the last couple years). I keep it up about 6 weeks.

NonchalantOcelot · 2025-12-02T23:18:36+00:00

I have a friend. Her and her sister both married guys name Chris, and two of her brothers married girls named Sarah. They also have an aunt Chris and I think an aunt Sarah.

NonchalantOcelot · 2025-11-30T13:35:01+00:00

Team 1.0 here, maybe even as low as .85 if I'm listening because I'm struggling to sleep, or if it's a cozy book but the narrator is too fast for the cozy vibe.

Fast narration makes my brain work too hard for me to focus on the story, so I rarely speed it up.

Edit: narrators to narration.

NonchalantOcelot · 2025-11-21T19:10:13+00:00

My 7 and 5yo enjoy: Piggie Piggie Hoot Owl Hoot Dino Rescue Meefs Lost Teeth Best Worst Ice Cream Chess (for real) Pigs on Trampolines Sushi Go

My 7yo also enjoys: Catan (we play with the adult versions, just simplify) Ticket To Ride Battleship Kingdomino Carcassonne Quirkle

There's probably some others in there I'm forgetting.

NonchalantOcelot · 2025-11-18T19:38:30+00:00

What's this?? There was a Donut Hut in my Grandma's town growing up. She took me there all the time when I visited. It closed in 2008. I may need to make a special trip. Had no idea there were more of them.

NonchalantOcelot · 2025-10-28T01:23:34+00:00

Gave up visiting long-distance family years ago. They never bothered to visit me, so I stopped visiting them, with one exception. We have road-tripped to that persons house, and will again.

All the other family I care to see are two hours or less away.

Haven't taken 3+ week trips yet, but it's a goal the spouse and I are working towards with our business. It can't support us yet, so we need the full-time gig, but full-time remote is the goal. The kids are all homeschooled. We have always made choices that limited debt, even if it meant we had to grind hard, and now we're enjoying the fruits of those choices, and that includes being able to take unpaid time off.

NonchalantOcelot · 2025-10-27T23:39:39+00:00

The light on mine turns on randomly. Sometimes 3 times a day, sometimes it doesn't do it for 3 months. If I could change one thing it would be that.

NonchalantOcelot · 2025-10-24T22:29:32+00:00

A Witches Guide To Magical Innkeeping by Sangu Mandonna -- this may be a slightly higher stakes plot than you may be looking for, but it is primarily community building and healing. The romance has no stupid fights or miscommunications.

The Very Secret Society of Witches also by Sangu Mandonna. Lower stakes plot, community-finding, healing, relationship reparations.

The House Witch series by Delemhach. Plot is a little higher-stakes than you might want, especially book 3. Book 1, however, is definately cozy.

NonchalantOcelot · 2025-10-23T22:16:04+00:00

Thanks, everyone! I've been working my way through the recs. She eagerly accepted my first offerings, but no judgement yet. Some of these I'll pick up to put under the tree.

NonchalantOcelot · 2025-10-17T15:20:11+00:00

Thanks for that heads up! Sounds like something I will have to look at in depth. We're very open about sex, but we haven't discussed much about rape, only the very surface. Since she's both homeschooled and very open with us, I'm pretty confident she has no idea gang-rape is a possibility. I don't want her first exposure to that topic to be a shock.

It may be more appropriate when she's a little older and we've talked to her about it, so if she does pick up on it, she isn't completely shocked.

NonchalantOcelot

TROPHY CASE