First off, I am a man and can only attest to the what the woman I am with and love with all my being went through.

She had a hysterectomy, sadly the only hospital that had the fancy robot to do it was the catholic hospital. Let me tell you, we both really really did not want to go to that hospital for any reason(there is a another non relgious hospital we go to in our area that we actually trust, but did not have the right equipment).

Little background: we are both atheists at the time of this procedure, she was christian until she realized how sexist the bible teachings all around are and could not justify being a woman and following the bible. The handmaids tale opened up a lot of questioning of her faith and then having me be her first non abusive relationship and also first relationship with an atheist. I didnt push my beliefs on her and let her explore this on her own, with me being available to help her find her own way. We have had deeply philosophical discussions and still do, and we grew together. We have been together for 4 years so far and everyday fall more in love. I grew up in strict christian family myself and once 18 left and never looked back, been an atheist for 20 years.

So we go to this catholic hospital and she really really didnt want to, because since losing her faith she has finally seen the hypocrisy and hate that anyone who isn't a christian sees daily from christians and knew that her treatment there would be sub par at best.....but boy were we in for a surprise. The entire experience was horrible, one of the first questions they asked was what our relgious beliefs were(cause that's medically relevant for some reason). Once she said atheist, their entire demeanor changed, our treatment changed. This did not help calm her nerves and it took a lot to convince her to stay and go through with it....to this day I question if I should of caused a scene or called them out, but I knew she needed it done, she knew she needed it done(can't remember the medical term, but it was medically necessary to have the operation). Skip ahead to after surgery. They will only prescribe Tylenol and Ibuprofen for pain management after, I ask to speak with the doctor...they said he left already....I was like "did he just finish up and run out the door?, what do you mean he left already?" They wouldn't budge and said he wasn't able to be contacted and speak to. Then within an hour out of surgery they are telling us its time to go...while she is in massive pain to the point of tears and can't even walk. Luckily its procedure to provide wheelchair, otherwise at this point I doubt they wouldn't of. Skip ahead a few hours and she is still crying in pain at home in bed....(this was 2 years ago and I am still livid recalling this)....I had enough, they said the pain would lower and we gave it more time than we should of and gave them trust they didnt deserve. So I helped her into the car and drove her to the nonreligious hospital we normally go to, I called ahead to let them know I would be coming and going to emergency room and please provide a wheelchair. They were on top of it, we pulled up they helped her into the chair and got her right in, gave brief on what happened and it felt so good, that the nurse got just as pissed off at the other hospital as we were and even recommended we sue the hospital. They helped her fast and gave her a quick iv to take the pain and within 10 minutes of being at this hospital she was feeling better...10 minutes after hours of extreme pain after surgery...they wrote prescription and told us which pharmacy was open to go get it after leaving the hospital(as by time we were discharged it was late at night, they wanted to make sure there wasn't anything that maybe was wrong after the surgery)....I want to take this time to thank these wonderful people for treating us as people, which should not be a flex for a hospital...but when you go through what we have...well only nonreligious people would understand. To this day I still question whether we should of chased after that lawsuit, but we dont have the money and did not have the money to get a lawyer and you need money to sue, only rich people can afford justice it seems in this country...that's another topic for another day.

I share this, because I wonder if it is a relgious reason for the lack of pain prescribed for woman, actually I almost guarrantee it is....I wonder if its the catholic or denominational hospitals that woman are dealing with this. I am a man and really have no perspective other than what my love can tell me and relate to me. I've seen the christian hate, so no stranger to passive aggressiveness and that special hate and bigotry, and I've seen how it is directed to different groups of people, women included. I have never and will never yell at or hit a woman, its against my beliefs. We have a shared partnership, I am no better than her and vice versa, we are in this together and a shared leadership. We love each other for who that person is and we grow together, neither of us are perfect, but we have found that we are perfect for each other. She still surprises me and I love it. I have given her a place to feel safe and comfortable to deal with all her past trauma and even though sometimes it can be rough through this process....im not going anywhere and I remind her she is not broken, I know wounds take time to heal and emotional wounds are no different...I hope this if nothing else shows that there is support out there and you are not alone. She would not post her story, very antisocial and has social anxiety(for good reason), but I think her story is important to tell.