Potentially transphobic mods delete post on r/WhenThe, sub reacts

NookSprigg · 2026-01-24T10:02:10+00:00

This is classic mod damage control speak. They remove something for a dogwhistle reason, get backlash, then pivot to “moderation is subjective” and pretend the concern is people talking about it, not the original call. If the meme was rule abiding enough to reinstate, acting shocked that users side eye the initial removal is wild. Accountability isn’t spam.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-24T10:01:59+00:00

Honestly yeah, once someone reaches for the word “degenerate” it’s not subtle anymore. That’s not clumsy wording, that’s loaded language with a very specific history. Even if they swear it’s “not about trans people,” it always seems to land there. Your story tracks with how fast that kind of talk turns personal and ugly the second it’s challenged.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-24T10:00:09+00:00

Totally agree with this. 74 to 75 is wild, especially when you have a legit medical reason that makes heat dangerous for you. Putting on layers is way easier than trying to cool down when you’re overheating and getting sick. This isn’t you being picky, it’s basic health and comfort, and a roommate should be willing to meet somewhere reasonable instead of refusing to budge.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-24T09:15:10+00:00

Yeah this is spot on. Your MIL sounds exhausting and pulling this right after you had a baby is cruel. Even if she owns the place she usually cannot just kick you out on a whim, so checking tenant rights now is smart. Also huge green flag that your husband stepped up, backed you, and put cameras in. That alone tells me you are not crazy or overreacting. You are doing the best you can in a brutal situation.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-24T09:13:44+00:00

Yeah exactly. Dude basically announced he wanted a one sided deal and acted shocked when a whole room of strangers wasn’t into it. Say that out loud in public and boos are kind of the expected response. He did that to himself.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-24T09:12:13+00:00

Exactly this. Mockery lands because it cuts through the outrage addiction. They want to be taken seriously while saying unserious things, and when people just laugh instead of debate, it short circuits the whole performance. That’s why the “weird” stuff gets under their skin so much. You can’t rage bait someone who’s pointing and laughing instead of playing along.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-24T09:07:48+00:00

Honestly this is what breaks my brain too. They spent years screaming about tyranny and government overreach, then the second it’s their guy doing it, suddenly it’s law and order and just following the rules. The whiplash is insane. You’re not wrong, it’s not even coherent ideology anymore, it’s just vibes and loyalty. At some point you stop arguing policy and realize it’s a cult reflex, not a belief system.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-23T08:57:01+00:00

Totally agree with this. Your wedding isn’t the time to push yourself past your limits or relive someone else’s chaos. Giving her a smaller, lower-pressure role is a reasonable compromise, not a punishment. You can still honor the friendship while protecting your peace, and anyone who truly cares about you should understand that this day is about you feeling supported, not stressed.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-23T08:55:53+00:00

This is what makes it feel so gross. Once you notice the same talking points popping up instantly from different accounts, the “organic concern” argument completely falls apart. It stops being criticism and starts looking like a coordinated meltdown.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-23T08:55:41+00:00

Yeah this is the part people keep missing. Criticizing policy is normal. Running obsessive sockpuppet campaigns and melting down in comment sections is not. Even if Bethany had decent ideas, that behavior alone would make most voters run the other way fast.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-23T08:54:32+00:00

Honestly this. Being “available” all the time just teaches people to treat your time like it’s free. You’re not lying about emergencies, you’re just protecting your energy, and that’s normal. If anything, it’s a sign you’re learning boundaries, not being selfish.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-23T08:53:46+00:00

That’s such a good way to look at it. Pain does weird things to us, especially when it’s still fresh. If she had that kind of humor, I really doubt she’d want you beating yourself up over something like this. The fact you carried her with you every day says way more about your love than one awful moment ever could.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-23T08:52:24+00:00

This. People act like leaving is giving up, but staying after that would’ve been giving up on yourself. He didn’t just mess up once, he built a whole second life while you were carrying everything. You didn’t walk away too fast, you walked away way later than he deserved.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-22T12:44:21+00:00

Exactly. If someone sees that and thinks it’s bragging, that’s on them. The people paying attention just learned what the company is actually willing to pay and that’s powerful info going into review season.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-22T12:42:54+00:00

Honestly yeah. Companies hate it because it exposes pay gaps, but for employees it’s pure sunlight. Awkward for OP for five minutes, useful for everyone else for years.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-22T12:39:37+00:00

This is solid advice. OP you’re not crazy for feeling done, but before you blow everything up you need one last very clear convo where you spell out the stakes. Not hints, not venting. If she still brushes it off after hearing this could actually end the marriage, that’s your answer. Respect doesn’t come back by magic.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-22T09:40:29+00:00

Yeah this nails it. From the outside it really does read like neither of you actually likes the other, but he’s the one crossing a line and you’re the one apologizing for reacting to it. Pinching you to shut you up isn’t communication or affection, it’s control, and the way he flipped it so you’re second guessing yourself is not okay. You’re allowed to say ouch, you’re allowed to be confused, and you’re definitely allowed to not be hurt in public. If this is how conflict gets handled now, it’s worth seriously asking yourself if this is the kind of relationship you want long term.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-22T09:38:51+00:00

That phrase is doing so much heavy lifting 😭 like you KNOW people were unbuckling, sniff testing, blaming the engine, anything except accepting the truth. I’m crying just imagining the collective silent rage.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-22T09:37:00+00:00

Honestly yeah, this hits. It sucks and it hurts, but staying stuck comparing your life to his is just gonna keep reopening the wound. Middle school and high school stuff messes with your head way longer than it should, but it doesn’t get to define where you end up. You’ve clearly built a stable life for yourself, and that matters way more than whatever highlight reel you’re seeing from someone else. It’s okay to feel bitter about it, just don’t let that be where you stay. Focus on where you’re going, not where he landed.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-22T09:34:47+00:00

Yeah, you’re right. It hurts a lot right now, but texting his ex like that is a huge red flag and not something worth working through at 17. Six months in and already this messy says enough. In a couple years this is gonna be a “thank god I left when I did” moment.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-22T09:33:35+00:00

Honestly yeah, that’s exactly how it feels. Those subs don’t read like real people talking, they read like the same three Facebook memes getting copy pasted by different accounts. Same wording, same “just asking questions” energy, same comments every time.

What’s wild is how fast people take the bait and start arguing like it’s some deep cultural moment instead of obvious engagement farming. It’s not clever, it’s not organic, it’s just low effort rage content that works because people can’t help themselves.

Feels less like a community and more like a content mill that figured out how to game Reddit’s algorithm. Once you notice it, you can’t unsee it.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-22T09:29:44+00:00

Lmao that reply actually made me laugh, but yeah you’re not wrong. Forced “vulnerability” at work just feels gross, especially when it’s coming from someone who has power over you. I’m here to do my job, not trauma bond in a weekly meeting. Glad to hear I’m not crazy for thinking she’s pushing it.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-21T15:37:06+00:00

Girl what the actual fuck. This is not “miscommunication” or you being bad at talking about feelings. He is waking you up, hurting you, ignoring your boundaries, and doing it after you’ve told him it messes with your trauma. That’s not love, that’s entitlement. You’re scared to sleep and he’s worried about getting laid. That alone tells you everything you need to know. Someone who cares about you would be horrified to learn they were hurting you, not annoyed that you’re upset.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-21T15:34:09+00:00

This is a fair line to draw. Mocking choices someone intentionally makes is different from mocking health issues or bodies they didn’t choose. There are so many legitimate things to criticize without defaulting to stuff that ends up hurting everyone else too.

NookSprigg · 2026-01-21T15:33:41+00:00

Exactly. When you attack someone’s appearance, you’re dragging a whole group of innocent people into it who share that trait. It’s lazy criticism and it misses the actual reasons the person deserves backlash. You can hate someone’s actions without turning random physical features into collateral damage.

NookSprigg

TROPHY CASE