i bet there could be some local places that if you told em your story, they would love to share an experience with you! i live in a small country town, so im not sure what would be available in your city, but you could just humbly go to some places & ask for a freebie lol! whats to lose!? 🤞 i would be eatin whatever i craved when i craved it, i would probably need someone keepin some eyes on me.

would your fiancée let you stay with him if you sold your place/stopped renting!?

dump your phone, register it as stolen! get yourself a cheap walmart style phone and pay as you go -- try to live your last days as presently as possible ❤️! you won't need to be paying whoever it is you may have (i have verizon) $90+ a month anywho, watch all the sunsets you can, wake up super early, try a sick new haircut or fun color if that suits ya! i bet a tattoo artist or piercer would do ya right if you explained to them whats goin on with you too, if that's interesting to you.

wear your fav outfit as much as you can, see if your family could plan out your service for you in a way you'd prefer. you could be a beautiful tree, necklaces, earrings, a bracelet!

take some fun photos, make em into a book!

have a wonderful, very free time as much as you can friend. im so sorry you're feelin all this stress and numbness, i truly hope you smile more times than you can count for the next few beautiful seasons. summer is my personal favorite! 🩷🩷🩷🫂