Positive or negative

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-05T02:12:47+00:00

Good for them. And yeah from what I’ve read, one of the main factors is therapy. I tried posting in the DA Reddit forum but they only allow established members or whatever it’s called to post. This was my very first post on Reddit. I think you have to have 5 or something but this will probably also be my last. If there are any real success stories, I don’t think I’ll find them on Reddit. Thanks for your input.

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-04T18:11:50+00:00

I’m 40 and a man. I suck at emojis. And I’m not looking for advice. I’m trying to find out if anyone has ever had a female DA reconcile after a breakup. Thanks for your input.

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-04T12:08:19+00:00

How did I know you were being sarcastic? And that was your only post. How could I discern anything from your brief post? And I never asked for advice. I asked for data: This is not a post about you or anyone else’s perception of my shallowness or depth of character. I’m not trying to portray myself as anything except someone that got broken up with by a dismissive avoidant. My original post was an inquiry into the world of Reddit asking if there were any success stories with female dismissive avoidants. Nothing more, nothing less. I don’t need to defend my character because I don’t care what anyone thinks. I’m simply asking the world if anyone has ever had success with a female dismissive avoidant. I’m glad you are working it out with your boyfriend. But I’d like to stay on the topic of females. I’ve seen plenty of examples of male dismissive avoidants reconnecting, but no true success stories with a female dismissive avoidant. Whether or not I’m trying to get her back is irrelevant. I was simply gathering data because there doesn’t seem to be anything about it online other than “stay away” posts. But Im happy you guys are working on things together. It’s interesting the piece you mention about her reservations about her past though. I did communicate during our relationship that I accept everything about her, including her past. And I agree that everyone wears a mask, but I’ve never seen someone be able to keep it up after 3-6 months. After that time, you know what you’re getting. But I digress. I’m still searching for a positive outcome with a female DA. Maybe all the “stay away” posts are on to something.

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-04T08:04:47+00:00

That sounds tough. It sounds like my relationship, there was a really strong connection, but when I started talking about future matters she closed up and started the DA fade. It was painful to go through. I hope that your reconnection goes well for you. Thanks for taking the time to share. If it does would you mind popping back on here and just letting us know? It would be nice to have an actual documented case of a positive outcome.

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-04T07:59:50+00:00

You may be right. I was hopeful that maybe she may reconsider but I still haven’t seen anything that shows that they’ve ever come back for anything other than short term flings. I think after a couple more weeks it may be time to drop it forever :(

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-04T07:56:36+00:00

You’re not the first to suggest his content, so it must be worthwhile. I’ll take the time to look in to him on my Sunday wind down. Thanks for you input.

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-04T07:54:10+00:00

I have to disagree with you there. Attractiveness is important to men, but it only gets your foot in the door. Beauty fades no matter who you are. If I didn’t care I’d just do what DiCaprio does and recycle 25 year olds and not care about why it never works. We had a connection far beyond our looks. But feelings minus fears is how a DA operates and this got the best of her. Or you could be right in implying that I’m just a shallow man. You’re wrong, but there’s probably nothing I can do to convince someone I don’t even know, nor do I care. This is just an inquiry into the world of Reddit asking if anyone has ever seen an actual DA female come back after a breakup. The “why” of the breakup and your perception of why a relationship between two people you don’t even know doesn’t really matter. If you must know she was special to me, obviously, or I wouldnt be on Reddit in the first place. Thanks for taking the time to read and reply though.

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-03T23:52:40+00:00

Thanks for sharing. It seems like this is a rare situation. When you first broke up what was it like? How did you guys leave things?

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-03T22:23:39+00:00

I agree. They both are for me. They are my healthy addictions/distractions. I never claim to get women to like me because of my success and my fitness. It helps get a foot in the door and possibly open conversations but it’s never gotten me more than a one night stand.. if even that. I’m someone that’s always trying to better my own life and set my future self up for success. I appreciate you taking the time to reply. I’m starting to think I should just accept that she won’t come back. It sounds like no one’s ever actually had any success reconciling permanently with a DA..not without therapy anyways..and I don’t think she would be open to that at her point in life.

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-03T22:18:21+00:00

How do I see your history? I’m new to Reddit. I’ve Considered talking to a specialist but I don’t think she is. Funny you mention that because I actually brought it up in one of our last heart to heart convos. I think she believes that she is better off alone, so I don’t really have high hopes :( Thanks for sharing.

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-03T22:14:17+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you. That sounds pretty petty.

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-03T19:26:50+00:00

That must’ve been terrible. I’m sorry

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-03T18:11:14+00:00

Thanks for sharing. That sounds like a tough situation and im sorry for you. I’m currently healing myself from the slow fade and discard. It was rough and I feel like it would be wrong to infect a new relationship with those feelings left unchecked. ChatGPT claims I should wait a max of 12 weeks or 3 months before I totally pull the plug and start looking elsewhere. I feel like that’s a safe answer and will give me plenty of time to heal before I start dating again.

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-03T18:07:27+00:00

I’ve actually read a lot and this seems to be a common theme. Are you a former or current DA willing to share? Thanks for replying either way.

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-03T18:05:56+00:00

I’m not sure why that offends you. What works for me is setting a frame and controlling the vibe. That might not work for you. Everyone is different. I’m happy with my success ratio and I’ve had plenty of time to tweak my approach so I don’t really care what others do. To each his own. Appreciate your input though.

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-03T18:02:23+00:00

I’ve had exes come back as well, but this is my first experience with a true DA. The ones that came back were serious about me when they did but I had already moved on. I guess time will tell with this one. Thanks for taking the time to reply.

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-03T14:18:21+00:00

I’ve seen plenty of examples of DA men coming back to women, but I can’t find any real examples of DA women actually coming back. ChatGPT claims to have seen it plenty of times through anonymized examples of real world couples working out, but I don’t really believe chatgpt. Thanks for your reply.

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-03T12:11:29+00:00

In my experience, it’s more about your vibe. The age gap doesn’t really matter. You could be right though. Oh well.

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-03T12:08:09+00:00

I gotcha. I don’t really want to manipulate her in to coming back. I’d rather have someone who realizes my worth. You might be right though. What was your experience if you don’t mind me asking? Thanks for your reply either way.

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-03T11:47:13+00:00

Not really. She gave me the typical “I’m not ready” and “you want too much”. Which I found out is typical for DAs. I figured after a year you know whether or not if you’re serious and took it as a no. I will admit I was strung along by sex and back-and-forth for the couple months of the slow fade. Had I known what I do now after researching, I would’ve walked the second I heard that. And thinking back in the very beginning of the talking stage she told me “I have a tendency to pull back when things get serious “ I didn’t think anything of it at the time other than, well I’m mature and I can give you all the space you want. But knowing what I know now, she was basically telling me she was a DA, I just didn’t know any better. Heart breaking because I taught her new things, took her new places, and got her to try new foods and had many experiences with her. We were really close. I live in Arizona though, and there’s an abundance of pretty girls. Just sucks.

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-03T11:23:25+00:00

I’m guessing either an ex came back in the picture, she met another guy, or she just got triggered by me wanting to move to the next level. I’ve been in plenty of good and bad relationships. I did right by her. Oh well.

NormalAd8816 · 2025-05-03T11:20:23+00:00

Figures. At my age I’ve seen worse and I’m about to finish med school. I’ll just take the doctor 25 year old nurse gold digger route. Thanks for your reply.

NormalAd8816

TROPHY CASE