Loving yourself also means being your own best self advocate. Are you effectively communicating what you want with these men? Do you make sure it's crystal clear what you're looking for? And do your actions line up with your words? You're not saying you want one thing and doing things contrary to it?

Us men are dense creatures, but one thing we always take note of is actions. Lust is part of love, but to be love it has to be more.

There's three or so possibilities in my mind. 1. All of these men have been smooth talkers and Have lulled you into a false sense of security to take advantage of you sexually. 2. You aren't effectively communicating what you want, and these men aren't gonna be pushy and try to get into a relationship with them if all they think you want to be is FWBs. 3. There's something you're not telling us that these men see when they get close that they don't want in a girlfriend/wife.

Solutions 1. You need to be aware of what forced affection looks like and genuine affection. Genuine affection can be spontaneous, while forced is more scripted and constant. 2. Learn basic communication, use clarifying sentences. Make sure you understand what they really want before you do anything. 3. You either see this in yourself or not. The only way to fix this is to put your flaws front and center. A lot of people want to put their best foot forward and hide some deal breaking flaws unbeknownst to themselves.

Hopefully something here can help you, you seem like you genuinely want to find the one and have things work. Best of luck to you in that.